I kept the book aside. Had some water and started walking in the room for few minutes staring at the diary which on the bed with a lot more questions running in my mind. Is that why sarah always stand for her? Is her friend suicidal? Is this real or just a story?

My state of mind went from, I could not sleep today to I won’t sleep today. So, I got my shit together, opened the diary and continued reading to know all the answers to my question.

Session 1:

Date: 18/11/2017

Like I told you before, I only agreed to do this because you have promised me that you won’t speak about it to me. I don’t know what she has told about me. Here I write everything I could, like you asked. Hope it helps.

It’s been a year. He has moved on. I, on the other hand was still wondering what is going on with my life? It is getting very hard for me day by day. Sarah constantly recommended me to see a psychiatrist, but I was not ready to talk about it. I didn’t think that she will trick me in to meeting you.

I first saw him on my first day of college. When I was introducing myself to the class, I was cut off by him. He asked permission to enter the classroom. He looked so handsome and classy. The way he walked into the classroom after apologizing to the teacher for being late on the first day itself caught everyone’s eyes. The entire classroom was focused on him ignoring my introduction until he sat.

When his turn came, he introduced himself as Nitin. His parents were rich, and his hobby was playing guitar and singing songs. Every guy became jealous of him and every girl in the class had a crush on him. But I did not like him because in mind I always had this thought that rich guys like him would give some money to college, get the seats and pass their time till they get their degree.

I first spoke to him during our lab period as we were arranged in alphabetical order to sit. He totally changed my perspective of him. He never slipped a word or bragged about him for being rich. Later when I came to know that he joined the college as a merit student I felt bad for judging him too quick.

As days passed, every guy in the class started loving him because of his character and every girl fall in love with the way he performed a song on stage. He became the Rockstar of our college.

After a year, we started going out together for movies, dinner, party and even trips. So, my friends started asking me whether I love Nitin? Every fucking time they could. For which, I always replied very clearly that I was not in love with Nitin. It became easy for me replying to the same question for around years. Until this same question was asked to me by Nitin on our third-year semester holidays party. It was hard for me, but I told him the truth that I saw him only as a friend. He got heart broken and left the place immediately.

Hearing about this my friends surrounded me and tried to convince me stating ‘You can’t get a guy like him. He is what every girl wishes for. He is handsome. He is rich. He plays guitar and more than that he loves you. Bla…Bla…Bla”. I excused myself from them and left to my home.

I locked my room and laid on my bed thinking about what my friends said, but those words did not change my mind. I just did not have same feelings for him. I tried calling him, messaging him. He did not reply. I thought of giving him some space and tried to sleep.

Completing the first session pages I got some answers to my questions. It was her real story. She was made to write this during her first psychiatrist session. She was tricked to meet a psychiatrist by Sarah. It also added some more questions to my mind like, “If she had rejected him, why did she try to die and not him? Why did she write her story like a novel? If she was instructed to write, why was it instructed like that?”, to know the answers to my questions I turned the page to know more.