Session 3:

Date: 16/12/2017

I could not sleep that night, it bugged me a lot. I switched off my phone as I can't even see my phone wallpaper. I didn't go to college for a week. Whenever my parents asked, I used to give them some lame excuses for not going out.

My friends started visiting me at my home as I was out of reach in all communications possible. Finally, he came to see me past a week. He said that he needed to talk. Of course, everyone knows the meaning of that.

I could have said “No”, but I could not. Even I wanted to ask him few things. Then I took him to my room, locked the door and sat on my bed facing the wall.

“I am sorry for what happened”, he apologized to me like it was a forgivable simple mistake.

“When did it happen? why did you do this to me?”, I started crying.

“I met her in Delhi. She was one of my classmates while studying guitar. We used to go out every day when I was in Delhi. Then we both kind of fall in love with each other”, said Nitin in a low voice.

“How could you love someone when we were loving each other? How could you do this to me? Did you ever truly love me?”, I cried lying on my pillow.

For which, he did not say anything. He just stood there like a statue watching me cry. After few minutes of silence, I threw the pillow at him and told him to get out of my room.

“I am really sorry”, He said and left.

One of the hardest parts during those seven days was hiding all this from my parents and acting normal in front of them. I could not manage to sit at home for long time. My parents started worrying about me. I went to college the next day but looking at him in college made me even worse. So, I stayed at Sarah’s room that night and informed to my parents that I won’t be coming home.

I was crying the whole night. I got affected mentally. I stayed in her room for the next few weeks. I went home for some time daily and came back to her room to sleep. I drank daily. I cried daily. I slept on the floor and I did not bathe for many days.

One day I woke up in the morning feeling dead inside. I was awake on the bed for hours. I did not know what to do. There were no one around me. I questioned my existence. I climbed to the terrace, sat on the side wall with my legs out decided to end all at once. Suddenly I felt a hand around my hip which dragged me towards the other side of the wall. It was Sarah. She gave a slap on my face and took me to her room.

“Stay the fuck where you are. If you move, I swear I will kill you”, those are the words came out of her mouth when she locked me in her room. I was crying on her bed curled like a baby. I was a total piece of crap.

Few minutes later, Sarah came to her room with coffee in her hand and sat next to me. She kept the coffee cup aside, held my hand and said, “I don't know what to tell you, but once I read in internet that if you fall in love with someone while you are in love with another. You should always choose the second one, because if you had loved sincerely and truly you would not have fallen for another".

“So, you are telling what he did is right?”, I asked her angrily.

“You are not seeing my point here. If he had truly loved you, he would not have cheated. He would not have left you for her. He did not fall in love with you. You two were together most of the time in the last three and half years, so he might have got infatuated with you which he must have misunderstood as love. That's what it is”

“…………………”

“I know it is very hard for you to forget this. I am not telling you to, but always keep in mind there are people out there wishing for your future. Just think about your parents. They need you. Don't let this bastard ruin their life also".

I hugged her and started to cry more, thanking her for saving me.

“If you still wanted to try to fall from the building, please don’t do that till the exams end. I don’t want to get into police enquiry.”, Joked Sarah.

I laughed a little and wiped my tears.

Hearing those word from Sarah made me think. I went home, took bath and wore a smile for my parents. I deleted his photos and phone numbers from my mobile. I tried to ignore his presence till the exams got completed.

Every place I visited kept reminding me about those days we were together. I could not delete that from my mind. So, I joined the IT company which I got selected and moved here to stay with Sarah as soon as exams got over.

It's been a year since I saw him. I could not forget what he has done to me. Still I cry at night and pretend like nothing happened. Sarah is the only person who cared for me the most. I am blessed to have her in life. I hope one day I will make her proud.

After months I slept peacefully the night of second session. I don’t know whether I am going to be fine or not, but I won’t forgot you in my life.

Thanks a lot for doing this.

I turned the page to know more but there were no more sessions in the diary. The entire diary was empty except a page named remarks. I started reading that.

1.) Always keep this diary along with your books

2.) Get that white Labrador from fifth floor Gokul.

3.) Keep going to Karthik gym. I will talk to him regularly.

4.) If there is anything you need, you can meet me at garden every day around 5 AM. Your sessions are over. You should never come to see me in my flat.

That was it. There were no other pages to read. The last session was dated a year ago. I got answers for why she kept the diary along with her books? Where did Max come from? How did Sarah save her life? But I did not know answers to whether she got any better? what were these four remarks? How does this make some one’s life better? Why she was asked to write her story like a novel?