A few days later, Blare finally showed up again. When she saw that Knell was awake, the first thing she did was kick him in the face.
I was horrified, even after she jokingly explained to me that she’d promised to kill him if he survived. Knell kicked her back, and I told them that if they wanted to fight they had to take it outside.
The fight quickly dissolved into an arm wrestling match, and then a race. I watched them from the front window. It was nice to see him actually playing with another child. It was also the first time I’d seen him genuinely laugh since he’d been ‘reborn’.
Knell really wasn’t the same person anymore. He didn’t get excited about things the way he used to, and he spent a lot of time sitting and staring at the walls. Most noticeably, he showed a strong aversion to being touched, especially on his face. Peal had found that out the hard way when she gave him a ‘welcome back’ hug and kiss, and he looked at her as if she’d tried to stab him.
He didn’t seem to want to talk about what had happened to him on the Satellite, and I respected that. But I was worried about him.
One night, Blare decided she wanted pizza, and went out to get some. Peal decided to go with her to make sure she didn’t steal it. As she went out the door, she gave me a look and motioned towards Knell.
I sighed. Time to get it over with.
“Did you really let Blare feed me her spit all that time?” Knell said suddenly.
It felt like he was trying to change the subject before it was even introduced…but I decided to go along with it. “She can’t just tear colors off her body like you can; she had to get them somehow. Besides, it’s probably thanks to her spit that you’re even here right now. You should be grateful.”
“No, I am. Even though it’s kind of gross to think about.”
I waited a few seconds, then tried again. “Knell-”
“Please don’t.”
He looked at me with pleading eyes. He’d definitely read my mind.
“I wasn’t going to ask about…that, necessarily,” I said, trying to recover. “I just wanted to know why you decided to do what you did at the end. I mean, surely, there was a safer way to…kill him.”
Knell blinked. “Maybe…maybe I wasn’t thinking straight either. It was like…you know, once you get an idea like that in your head, and you just KNOW it’s the answer and you’ve got to do it…Anyway, even if there was a better way, at least I knew the one I picked would definitely work.”
I’d gotten him to talk about something, at least. “How did you even come up with that?”
“Well, it started when he told me he was a Starship…” he trailed off into silence.
I stood up and went over to him. “Knell, please…I know it probably hurts to think about these things, but maybe if you talk about them, you’ll feel better.”
“I don’t need to talk about anything. I feel fine.”
“Do you really expect me to believe that?”
“I know I’m acting different, Clarion…but it just means I’ve grown up, that’s all.”
“Grown-ups don’t just sit around looking depressed all day.”
“You’ve done that plenty of times…”
“That’s not because I’m a grown-up, it’s because my life is full of problems…and when you want to hear about them, I tell you.”
He looked at the floor. “I don’t have any problems…I promise I’m not traumatized or anything. I’ve just got some…raw memories. If you just give me some time, they’ll go away. Like they did before.”
I put a hand on his shoulder. He flinched, as usual. “I don’t need you to make them go away,” I told him. “I don’t need you to do anything…I just don’t like to see you hurting; I never did. I want to be able to help you.”
He looked at me. Then he held out his hands. “…Could you give me back that silver delta? The one you said I could keep before.”
I was bewildered by his request. “Why…do you want that?”
He didn’t answer. Reluctantly, I went upstairs to get it.
When I brought it to him, he took it lightly from my hand.
Then he stabbed himself with it.
He twisted it into his chest, his face contorting with pain, until it was fully submerged. Then he sighed. “Yup…that works,” he said when he was finished.
I was paralyzed. I had no idea what I had just witnessed. I was almost afraid he’d committed suicide right in front of me.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m not trying to hurt myself…I mean, I am, but that’s not the point.”
“What is the point…?” I asked hesitantly.
“I guess you could say I’m going to put you out of a job. Y’know, ‘peace for the three races’.” He smiled.
When Blare came back with the pizza, he explained his mission to all of us. He was going to tame demons. All the demons on Earth.
“You have to be in a lot of pain to connect with them,” he said. “Mental pain can work, but physical is best. And then, when they finally learn to like you, they tend to show it in violent ways…A human or angel probably wouldn’t be able to survive it, but I can. And I want to try.”
To be honest, I didn’t really like the idea. I liked the idea of him saving the planet, of course, but I didn’t like the idea of him spending years torturing himself to that end. I could only guess where he had learned such a morbid skill.
Blare seemed interested, however. “You think maybe I could do that, too?” she asked, licking oil from her fingers.
Knell started gnawing on the box. “I don’t know,” he replied. “You’re a little too human-like. You’d probably do better than an actual human, but if a demon cut you in half, you’d still die, right?”
“Probably…Damn. They do all that when they like you? What’s the difference between that and them tryin’ to eat you, then??”
“It’s complicated. It’s different for each demon, too...maybe while we’re out there, we’ll learn to understand it more.”
“You…want us to go with you?” asked Peal.
“Yeah! I think we’d make a great team. You’re good at figuring out alien behavior, so you can help me improve.” He pointed at me and Blare. “And these guys are both demon hunters now, so if anything goes wrong, I have backup.”
“Well, I’m in!” said Blare. “I needed something to do anyway. And savin’ the world’s a pretty cool way to kill time.”
She looked at me and Peal. “You guys should be in, too. What do you have to lose? One of you’s jobless already, and if this works out it’ll be both of you pretty soon.”
I glared. Peal just laughed. “Well, I suppose Colony E can wait…if you really think I’d be useful,” she said. “How about it, Clarion? Are we going on the road again?”
“…I need some time to think about this,” I said. I got up and left the house.
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