When Sherlock comes back from the dead, John punches him. Then he hugs him hard, because he's missed him. They go back to 221B, and John makes tea.

When John finds Sherlock on the couch, crying in his sleep, he wraps him up in a big bear hug and wills the tears away. Sherlock clings to him like he's a lifeline, but when he lets go, John's the one who feels like he's drowning. 

When John sees Sherlock blankly staring at the gun in his hand, his heart stops beating for a few seconds. Then he takes it away from Sherlock, and orders takeaway.

When Sherlock flinches at Donovan's taunt of 'freak', John tells Lestrade and has her suspended on account of abuse. Then he tells Sherlock that he's 'amazing' and 'fantastic', and Sherlock smiles a bit. 

When John finds Sherlock hellishly drunk  on the floorone day, he takes away the bottle, and carries him to the couch. Sherlock asks John a question with tears in his eyes: "How can you even look at me without being disgusted?" John holds Sherlock tightly, and wishes, oh god  how he wishes, that what he thinks isn't true, that his perfect, masterful, beautiful  Sherlock hasn't been hurt that way. Sherlock's empty eyes look up at him, and the world comes crashing down. 

_____

Sherlock tells him about everything the next day. About what actually happened in those dark, terrible years when he was supposed to have been dead. About the jeering laughs, and the constant violation of his body and his mind, and about how through it all, the thought of coming home to John kept him going. 

John cries silently through the story. Sherlock is crying too, by the end. John kisses Sherlock and holds on tightly. Sherlock holds on too. It'll get better now,  John thinks. 

And it does.