warning mentions of a panic attack

I'm not strong enough right now to shut her out to not let her words inflict pain I'm not strong enough right now

I'm not strong enough right now too not let her keep me on that edge between breaking apart and just barely holding it together and shattering completely I'm not strong enough right now to fight this war in my head with the one in my mind I'm not strong enough right now because I'm on the edge just barely not falling but the world has a funny way of making you suffer more when you're already suffering like when you get a random message from a person from your past and even though it's only one word just a simply hi I start jumping to conclusions and obsessively thinking why that person would want to reach out to me we barely said three words to each other in the past so what would they want with me now because I'm not strong enough right now the one in my mind I can't stop listening to her why would that person reach out to you do they have some ill intentions the one in my mind she keeps telling me how this person barely even know me she makes me think about non logical situations and when I can't shut her out when I can't stop hearing her voice in my mind it makes me panic and I feel that feeling kick in feeling like I'm not in control there's nothing I can do to stop her it just sucks because I'm not strong enough right now