A few years later…

Looking back on my life, it’s still a mess! I wake-up, I get ready for work, sometime in a rush I skip breakfast, I work (which I hate with a fiery passion), I go home, I eat and I lay on the couch while watching dramas… It’s changed though… No longer do I simply watch the sad yet beautiful dramas, it turns out I rather enjoy comedies a lot more!

Though I still feel ‘lost’, not knowing what to do with my life, I no longer feel suffocated. I do not have many friends and the ‘friends’ I have I rarely see or talk too, not because I don’t want to rather they just don’t have the time to make time… Which is fine ~ Honestly!

But the reason I feel ‘at ease’ with my loneliness; with the monsters that had previously cornered me, seemingly ready to devour me… Turns out they were just lonely themselves.

How did I tame them? It was fairly simple once I figured out what kind of food they liked, what exercises to do with them well where there sweet spot was. Turns out they are ‘sea creatures’!

Seriously though!

I might speak as though I’m talking about actual monsters, but they are my emotions, the parts of me I did not know and did not try to know…

Turns out Dad was right… It’s all about the mind.

I did not always understand it.

Dad would say it for just about anything! When I was sick, when there was a storm and we could go out to play, when he was having trouble at work and even when I struggled with learning new ‘skills’. That was, until one day he stopped saying it…

Dad changed and yet he was still the same ‘Dad’ I knew when I was younger – nothing had changed about him, he just figured I didn’t need to hear those words from him anymore, that I knew it by-heart.

It’s all about the mind… I tried to change how I saw things. At first I hesitated it was only when I was on a ‘vacation’ trip, by the sea that one of the dive-center’s personnel asked if I was interested in learning to dive. “No” I said at first but the very next day, I don’t know why, but I went, and tried it. the very first time, that first minute after descending beneath the waves… I felt… Lighter…

I felt free…

Whenever I feel like I’m trapped all I do is book a weekend trip to somewhere near the sea, I go scuba diving and all my worries just… vanish…

I learned to change the way I see the world and I realized something I would never forget, something I share with everyone that asks me…

“How can you be so calm?”
“How can you be so carefree?”
“How can you be so optimistic?”