The next few days were a whirlwind of texts over wedding menus, white gowns, bedazzled pumps, and bridesmaid dresses. Finn proposed to Em when he returned from Singapore, sealing the deal with a ring that could break a girl's finger. I remember when she showed up at my door, mascara tinted tears of happiness rolling down her face. I felt a mixture of needing to cry, and needing to throw up all at once. I was so happy for her the emotions were almost too much. 
     We were all invited out to dinner at a fancy restaurant to celebrate their engagement. I put on my one and only little black dress, and slipped out the door. I had spent an unusual amount of time getting the details of my look right. I tucked my beaded clutch underneath my arm, and turned my key in the lock. Then I clip-clopped over to Em's in my stilettos. We decided last minute to carpool.
    Just as I reached her driveway, Em and Finn stepped out onto their stoop. She was smiling at me as he locked the door.
    "You two look so good together," I sighed dreamily.
    "You look good yourself," Em said. Finn unlocked the door to their expensive SUV and we started on our way to the restaurant.
    "Did you see all the scenery in Singapore?" as I had never left the country, I was eager for some details.
    "Yes, it is such a beautiful place! There is so much to see. The people are so kind and wonderful. It always a pleasure going on business trips to Asia in general."
     "I'm glad you had such a wonderful trip, and came back safely. Otherwise, Em wouldn't be walking around here with that rock on her finger."
     "Can you believe he had it hidden between the mattresses, waiting for the right time, agonizing over how to ask me?"
     "Didn't you find it when you were changing the sheets?"
     "No! This nutcase hid it in the dead center." She lightly punched his arm.
     "Yes, and I had to get it out quickly while she was distracted with ordering some takeout."
     "You asked her over takeout?"
     "The more I agonized about it, the more I realized that we should just be ourselves when I ask. And I couldn't wait any longer!"
     I laughed, "How did you not feel it while sleeping, Em?"
     "This is not the princess and the pea."
     "That thing is definitely not the size of a pea. And with a box, too? Forget about it."
     We all laughed as we pulled into the valet station at the restaurant. They parked the car, and we walked inside to meet Henry and Angela.
     We were seated. The atmosphere was almost oppressively elegant. The table had a thick cloth, and there were so many forks it made my head spin. The menus were bound in leather and printed on thick beige paper. I sat between Henry and an empty sixth chair.
     "This is our celebration, so dinner is on us," said Finn. Angela wiggled in her seat eagerly. I began to scan the menu for the cheapest item. Em seemed to sense what I was doing, and eagerly suggested we both order her favorite. 
     Finn was entertaining Henry with conversation, making his milky face light up with laughter. My throat got tight every time I would see him smile. Finn suggested his favorites to Angela and Henry until they settled on something.
     He described the sights of Singapore in great detail to Angela, as well as a play by play of his proposal to Em. Our salad courses arrived, and poor confused souls that we were, watched him to know what fork to use. 
    "Have you taken Henry clothes shopping yet?" Em asked.
    "No, I've not needed to. I picked up a few things as soon as I signed the contract."
    "The only reason I ask, is Finn is giving away some of the clothes that don't quite fit anymore. And I think they will fit Henry just right."
    "That would be wonderful! And knowing Finn's taste, he will look just as handsome." Angela winked.
     Finn and Em laughed nervously and looked at me with slightly widened eyes. I scanned Henry's clothes. The emerald green shirt, slacks, and belt were obviously new. The belt had two, clearly, hand punched holes in it. It more or less held up the ill fitting slacks, and tucking in the shirt did little to reduce its bulk. The clothes were brand new for sure, but Angela was a poor judge of size. So how did he still look so handsome? He could have come to dinner in a trash bag and he'd still be handsome. He caught my gaze and I immediately looked away.
     "You look so lovely," he said, turning to me.
     "She really does, doesn't she?" Angela butted in. She leaned past Henry so she could see me, "You don't usually do your makeup like that, do you? You should do that more often. It looks much better than usual."
     I could feel the sweat forming on the bottoms of my feet. I stared hard at my plate for a moment. Em pulled me back into the conversation, and put me at ease.
     The courses of dinner came and went. We laughed, Angela asked a litany of questions about Finns future trips, hopes for children, and anything else she could think of. She was completely absorbed in his charm, and if it weren't for polite inquiries from Finn, Henry would have been left out of the conversation. Em and I continually talked about wedding details.
     We got back into the car and got to Em's house in a blink. The whole evening seemed like a hurried blur, even though dinner took two hours to eat.
    Finn and Angela were seated on the sofa drinking his favorite scotch, deep in conversation about where Henry had come from. Lucky for them, Henry had run off to their butler's pantry to scavenge for some snacks. I stood by Em at their bar cabinet, sipping a cosmopolitan she made.
     "This is amazing!" I gulped it down, "Another."
     "I'm glad you like it, because it's the only cocktail I can make. An uh, slow down a bit," she winked, and mixed me another. Cocktail in hand, I wandered off to the butler's pantry for some snacks, hoping for something crunchy.
     Henry was leaning against the wall, eating chocolate creme filled panda crackers. I smiled at him weakly, then scanned the shelves. At the top, I spied a box of gosomi.* I set my drink on a hip-height shelf, and reached up. My fingers barely grazed the box. I reached harder in frustration, when a hand came behind me and lifted the box down. 
     "Here," Henry handed them to me, laughing. I tore into the gosomi, munching on the contents of a packet.
     "Thanks," I crunched, "What are you doing in here?"
     "They're talking about where I came from, aren't they?"
     I stopped mid chew to nod and look away. "Sorry. I know that has to feel strange, not being part of a conversation that's about you."
     "Very strange. And even if I was in there talking to them, I wouldn't know what I'm supposed to say. I don't know how to talk about it. Can I have one?"
     I placed a packet into his outstretched hand. "I know where you came from, but I do have some questions. How long were you there?"
     "About a year, I think."
     "A year? They said it only took two weeks to.. to 'make' you. How old are you?"
     "Twenty-four."
     "That's how old I am. So, if you were only there a year, where were you before?"
     "I don't know. I don't think I even existed."
     I nodded slowly. "Did they name you, or did Angela..."
     I was cut off, "Can we... stop talking about this please."
     I drank some liquid courage, preparing to lighten the mood. "Okay. What's your favorite color?"
     "Blue."
     "Animal?"
     "Panda."
     "Season?"
     "Spring. You?"
     "Pink, giraffe, fall." I munched on my gosomi. I downed the last of my cosmo.
     He pointed at the box, "You know you're supposed to have these with tea."
     "They go pretty well with a cosmopolitan," I shrugged. 
     "How long do you think we can stay in here?"
     "As long as we want, honestly. But it would be pretty rude to spend cocktail hour away from our hosts. This is about celebrating them, after all." But in my drunken heart of hearts, I didn't want to leave. I was enjoying our tete-a-tete. I was at ease alone with him, in a way only comparable to the time I spend with Em. The peace you feel when on someone else's wavelength.
     "You don't drink, do you?" I turned to put the gosomi back on their shelf. I reached up, and up, until my footing wavered and I stumbled forward.
     I didn't hit the shelves face first, or fall on the floor. Henry came to my rescue, steadying me with one hand on each arm. "Are you okay?"
     "These shoes are now a bad idea." I hopped clumsily up onto the tiny counter in the pantry, and leaned to get my shoes. Henry was already on one knee slipping them off. I was still leaning forward, hand on my ankle. He looked up at me. My face was the color of my cosmo. His eyes darted between my eyes and my lips. I moved toward him an inch, then suddenly stopped and wiggled off the counter. He similarly came to his senses.
     I grabbed my empty glass. My shoes in one hand, and the other steadying me, we walked back to the living room. He placed my shoes by my purse, and immediately asked Em for a cosmo.

---Footnote---
*Gosomi are savory/sweet sesame and coconut crackers that are popular in Korea. My Korean teacher was the first to introduce me to them, and they are super additcting. -JaeMiUnnie