Gwen remembers how cold it'd been that day. Standing on the front steps, watching her parents mess with the car seat, trying to get it into place. Her father was tall, with close-cropped blond hair, kind eyes, and a warm smile. Her mother was on the short side, with her strawberry blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. Her eyes were hidden behind glasses, and Gwen remembers warm hugs and soft voices reading books to her before bed.

Gwen was 5 years old when her parents first fought in front of her. The mood had been weird that morning, Gwen recalls. The tension between her mother and father had been thick enough to cut. After Gwen had been buckled into her car seat and the car had been on the road for some time, her mother leaned over and turned off the radio.

“What’s up?” Her father asked and her mother was quiet. Her father spared her mother a glance.

“Karen?” He asked.

“Jen from work is pregnant. Has been for a few weeks now.” She said, her voice calm.

“And you’re telling me this because?” He asked and Karen scoffed.

“Don’t play dumb, Michael. You know exactly why I’m telling you.” Michael glanced in the rearview mirror at Gwen, who was looking out the window, idly kicking her legs.

“We’re gonna do this now? In front of Gwen? Really?” He hissed, eyes back on the road. Karen shot him a look.

“You cheated on me with one of my coworkers and got her pregnant, Michael,” Karen said through gritted teeth. Her hands were balled into fists on her thighs, eyes staring straight ahead.

“Karen… Look, I’m sorry. It was a one-time thing. It meant nothing.” Michael said and Karen clenched her jaw.

“You got her pregnant.” She ground out. She let out a sharp breath and Michael’s lips parted as he drew in a breath to speak.

“We barely have enough money to pay bills, Michael. What happens when she wants you to pay child support? Huh? What then?” Karen asked, her voice getting louder. Gwen tore her eyes from the window, looking forward at her mother’s raised voice.

“There’s no need for you to raise your voice,” Michael said calmly.

“Why?” Karen asked, her voice a whisper now.

“What?”

“Why did you cheat on me? I thought… God, I thought we were happy, Michael. I… I thought you loved me.” She murmured, her voice breaking.

“I do love you.” Michael snapped.

“Bullshit. Don’t tell me you love me after what you’ve done.” She spat, raking a hand through her hair.

“God… You could’ve told me you weren’t happy with our relationship instead of sneaking behind my back to sleep with my coworker.” Michael slapped the steering wheel, making the horn sound.

“I was drunk. She came onto me.” Michael snapped, glaring at the road, knuckles white as he gripped the faded leather of the steering wheel.

“You were drinking? Michael, you told me you had stopped.” Michael laughed bitterly.

“As if. How else am I supposed to get away from your constant nagging?” He asked.

“I do not nag.” Karen snarled.

“Bullshit. You’re constantly on my back, telling me to do this and that like I’m a child who needs to be told what to do. I’m not a kid. I don’t need you constantly reminding me of what I have to do.” Michael snapped, his voice a growl.

“Well, maybe if you actually helped out around the house instead of just lazing around all the time, I wouldn’t be reminding you so much.”

“I work all day to pay for our house!” He shouted.

“I do too, but at least I don’t drink myself stupid and sleep with your coworkers!” Karen shouted back. Their argument dissolved into shouting, both of them using words Gwen couldn’t understand. Minutes later, there was a pause, both of them falling silent. Karen had tears in her eyes, Michael glaring at her. A horn blared. Brakes squealed and metal screamed. Then, everything was quiet.

---

Gwen’s eyes snap open and she sits up, wiping her face. Her breath comes in sharp gasps like she has been running. She can feel her heart racing and she tries to steady her breathing. Harvey shifts beside her, his arms tightening around her.

“I’m here.” He says, his voice thick with sleep. Gwen nods, running a hand through her hair before laying back down, turning on her side to face Harvey. Her hands find his face, her thumbs running over his cheeks.

“Do you mind…” She trails off as Harvey cracks a smile. She can see his face from the moonlight streaming in from the window. Something about his smile makes her feel better.

“Anything else?” Harvey asks, his words followed by a yawn. Gwen presses a kiss to his cheek.

“Not right now. Go back to sleep.” She murmurs. Harvey shifts slightly, kissing her forehead.

“You sure? Was it that dream again?” He asks, sounding more awake with each word.

“Yeah, but I’m ok. Get some more rest, Harv.” Harvey lets out a sigh against her skin.

“Alright. You should too.” He murmurs.

“I will,” Gwen replies. Harvey shifts again, relaxing. Gwen shifts onto her back, staring up at the ceiling, the moonlight allowing her to make out the cracks in the plaster. Harvey’s breathing becomes steady, and his arms loosen around her as he falls back asleep. Gwen feels her eyes start to water and she blinks furiously, sitting up. She wipes her face with a soft sigh, trying to fight down the various emotions swirling in her chest. She swallows, sliding out of Harvey’s loose embrace to stand beside the bed. She turns, looking down at Harvey, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. He’ll most likely call off the wedding when he finds out. What Project Phoenix is. Gwen bites her lip, thinking about it, thinking about the folders in her bag. How many moral codes were they going to break with this? How many people would be disgusted with them and stop funding the lab? How long would it be until they had no funding at all and were forced to seek employment elsewhere? How long until Harvey finds out what they’re doing and leaves her? How long would it take? She can see only one way of things ending if she were to tell him right then. Even if she was to tell him, she would be breaking her contract, possibly breaking several laws as well. She swallows, eyes on Harvey’s peaceful face. She turns away, moving toward the bedroom door. He doesn’t need to know right away. If he finds out about what she’s been doing in the lab later… She shakes her head, brushing the thought away, not wanting to think of what Harvey might say or do. She hears blankets ruffle and pauses by the door.

“Gwen?” Harvey asks and she hums in an answer.

“Everything ok?” He asks, his words slow to form.

“Yeah. Go back to sleep.” She replies and she hears him yawn.

“Ok.” He says and she glances over her shoulder, seeing him curl up further beneath the covers, trying to make up for the lost warmth. She leaves the room and walks to the bathroom, closing the door after flicking on the light. She meets her eyes in the mirror, vision slightly blurry without her glasses. Harvey’s words echo in her mind as she brushes her fingers down one of her arms.

“They're also shitty reminders of what didn't happen. You didn't die. You survived.”

She sighs and moves away from the mirror, turning her back to it as she fiddles with the shower controls. Water splashes onto the floor of the shower and Gwen sticks her hand under the stream, testing the temperature. Too hot, she thinks, adjusting the handle a bit. She lets out a breath and undresses, stepping under the spray. The water is hot enough to sting her skin, but she doesn’t move to adjust it. Her hands touch her stomach and she takes in a breath, shutting her eyes.

“It’s ok.” She tells herself softly, the noise of the shower almost drowning out her voice. Her hands move, running through her hair, fingers gently massaging her scalp. She sighs and drops her hands. She shuts the shower off, not bothering with the shampoo or the soap. She steps out and towels herself off, avoiding the mirror with her eyes. She dresses again and brushes her damp hair away from her face, her fingers touching the scar on her forehead. She breathes out slowly, trying to keep herself together. She glances at the mirror, eyes locked on her forehead. She shuts her eyes and the vivid memory of how she got the scars plays in her mind. Gwen snaps her eyes open, breathing hard. She shakes her head and stumbles from the bathroom, shutting off the light. She pauses in the kitchen, glancing at the clock. It’s already 1:30 in the morning. She makes for the living room, sinking down onto the couch, feet tucked under her as she curls up against the armrest. She listens to the clock ticking away the seconds, minutes, and hours behind her and watches the moon slowly come into view as it sinks in the sky. She hears birds begin to chirp outside in the trees and glances back at the clock. 5:45 am. She sighs, standing from the couch. Her joints ache and she stretches, yawning. Gwen shuffles back into the kitchen to start the coffee, knowing that Harvey would be waking up soon. Minutes tick by and the smell of coffee drifts through the house. Gwen grabs two mugs from the cupboard and fills them with coffee, Harvey shuffling into the kitchen seconds later, hand against his mouth as he yawns. He blinks at the sight of her leaning against the counter.

“You didn’t come back to bed.” He murmurs, accepting the mug she holds out to him. She nods.

“I couldn’t sleep.” She responds, taking a sip from her mug. Harvey frowns at her and drinks his coffee.

“You… Do you want to go visit now? Or later, when it’s warmer out?” He asks softly, Gwen shrugging in an answer.

“Now, I guess. Should get it over with sooner rather than later.” She mutters into her mug, finishing off the rest of her coffee. She sets the mug in the sink and moves past Harvey.

“Lynn…” He begins and she pauses beside him.

“I’m ok, Harv. Promise.” She says, giving him a smile. He smiles back but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“It’s ok to not be ok, Lynn.” He whispers and Gwen swallows, nodding.

“I know. But I’m alright. I’m gonna go change.” She says and kisses his cheek before leaving the room.

---

Harvey passes her one of the bouquets that he holds and she accepts it, cradling it in her arms like it’s a child that needs shelter from the cold autumn air. Gwen lets out a breath and follows Harvey up the small hill that leads to the cemetery. They pass through the gates, gravel crunching under their feet as they walk up the path. Gwen turns, stepping off the path, walking over to two gravestones sitting beside each other. Harvey follows, staying silent.

“Karen Andrews. Daughter, wife, mother, friend.” Gwen breathes, reading the inscription.

“Michael Andrews. Son, husband, father, friend.” She reads off, her voice barely audible. She kneels, placing the bouquet on her mother’s grave. Harvey sets his on her father’s grave, kneeling beside her.

“Mom… Dad… How are you guys?” Gwen asks and she pauses like they’re actually there and speaking to her, answering her. She smiles.

“I’m well. I brought Harvey with me, thought you guys might want to see him again.” She says, her voice wavering. She clears her throat, shaking her head firmly.

“I tried to get you guys your favorite flowers, but… I can’t remember what they were. So… I’m sorry about that. Hope these ones are ok.” She murmurs, her voice getting smaller with every word she speaks. Harvey takes her hand and laces their fingers together, squeezing gently. Gwen squeezes back, finding comfort in his presence.

“Before I met you…” She begins, trailing off to find the words she wants. Harvey is patient, not pushing her to speak.

“My aunt and I would visit almost every day, or we would try to. We couldn’t go some days because she had to work, but… Every time we would come visit, my aunt would just… She’d bawl her eyes out and claw at the grass like she was trying to dig them both out of the ground.” Gwen says, her eyes watering. She blinks furiously, shaking her head.

“Every time that I’ve come here since then… I haven’t cried at all. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get to know them very well, but I just… I kept it inside and didn’t cry. I told myself not to. I told myself that I had to be there for my aunt because she was so… She was just so broken and she didn’t have anyone but me. I had to be there for her, you know?” Gwen asks and Harvey squeezes her hand.

“Sort of. But, that’s not the case now, Gwen. You know it’s ok to cry. It doesn’t make you weak or anything. You’re strong, yeah, but sometimes, you gotta let things out or else it builds up and throws you off.” Harvey breathes, his voice steady. Gwen nods, swallowing back the lump in her throat.

“I know, I just… I can’t. I’ve spent my whole life keeping everything in boxes and bottles and I…” She trails off and Harvey squeezes her hand.

“It’s alright. Take your time, Lynn. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.” He says and Gwen blinks, her thoughts moving to Project Phoenix and how Harvey might react to what it is. She swallows and nods in response to his words, trying to push Project Phoenix from her mind. Harvey squeezes her hand again and she squeezes back, feeling sick. She pushes herself to her feet, pulling Harvey up with her.

“Bye, mom. Bye, dad. See you later.” She says, waving slightly.

“Bye, guys,” Harvey says, waving as well. Gwen drops his hand and walks back to the path, exiting the cemetery, Harvey having to jog to keep up with her.

“What’s the rush?” He asks and she slows her pace so he can comfortably walk beside her. Gwen shrugs in answer, feeling his hand slide into hers.

“Just cold.” She replies. Thoughts about Harvey’s possible reaction to Project Phoenix swirl in her mind and she tries to push them away.

“Harvey… Can I ask you something?” She finds herself asking and Harvey hums.

“Anything.” He answers and the words are spilling from her mouth before she can stop herself.

“What if I told you we were working on something that… That possibly broke a lot of moral codes?” Harvey wrinkles his nose.

“Like what?” He asks and Gwen clamps her mouth shut to ensure she doesn’t spill everything about Project Phoenix.

“Like… Cloning.” She spits out the word like it’s poison in her mouth and Harvey falls silent. Harvey drops her hand and Gwen stiffens, her throat closing up as she thinks about the words that might spill from his lips.

“Cloning? Like… Cloning humans?” He asks and Gwen slowly nods, wringing her hands in anticipation to his next words.

“Well… It seems wrong but Reginald must have a good reason for taking it on, right? I mean… He gets the projects from higher-ups, right? So he doesn’t really have a say in any of them, yeah?” Harvey asks and Gwen swallows, nodding.

“Yeah, but cloning is just… It’s wrong, Harvey!” Gwen protests and Harvey shrugs.

“If you don’t want to head the project, Gwen, tell Reginald you refuse. Do not let that guy walk all over you. He’s not the one having to do all the experiments and take all the notes and write down all the data.” Harvey says firmly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“You wanna go to the cafe? Maybe get a muffin or something?” He asks, changing the subject.

“Yeah. Sure. Sounds good.” Harvey grins and takes her hand again, pulling her along.