Wednesday, October 17th

     Yoni had encouraged him to text Loek back, and since Jesse didn’t have anything to do other than sit still while she was colouring his hair, he eventually did so. Ever since, they’d had an ongoing conversation, mostly about soccer and school. Jesse learned that Loek was 18 and had taken a gap year after finishing high school the year before. He had been working at Unity since for about a month and hadn’t found time before to join a soccer team or make many friends.

After Yoni had finished dyeing his hair, he took a quick shower to rinse it, before they had watched some series on Netflix. It was around nine in the evening, after dinner and binge watching almost a full season, that Jesse realised he hadn’t thought about his father wanting to pick him up. They had left school early, since their last class got cancelled, and Jesse hadn’t paid any mind to his father coming over later.

Not that he had been planning to get in the car with his dad, or to go to the appointment to get his tattoo removed, but he hadn’t purposefully avoided him for the entire day.

Which made him scared to go home. He had read Loek’s last message—which had seemed a bit of a flirty text—before jumping on his bike to go home. Might as well rip the bandage off right away and see how angry his father exactly was.

Still, Jesse was nervous, and even a bit afraid. His father had a history of overreacting and even some violence when it came to Jesse not doing what he wanted. It wasn’t late enough for his parents to already be in bed, so Jesse decided on sneaking in through the back and heading straight upstairs to his room.

It was to no avail, because as soon as he walked through the back door, he heard footsteps, and within seconds, Felipe was in front of him with anger seeping from every pore in his body.

“Where the hell have you been!?” He shouted at him, grabbing his hoodie to pull him closer. “Do you have any idea how much trouble I went through to get you an appointment this quick? And you just decide to miss it?”

“I told you I wasn’t going,” Jesse snapped back, trying to get his father to let go of his hoodie. “Let go of me.”

“I have had it with your behaviour, you ungrateful brat!” The first blow was a fist hitting him on his jaw and Jesse instantly covered his face with his arms.

“It’s my body!” Jesse called out, wishing his mother would come and get his father to leave him alone, even if she was scared too. Eventually, he kicked his father’s leg, causing him to let go and jump backwards with an angry shout.

“That’s it! You’re out! Get your stuff and get the hell out of my house.” His father pointed towards the door. “Give me the keys and leave before I kick you out.”

“What?” Jesse exclaimed in shock. Was he actually pulling through with his idiotic threat?

“You heard me: out.” Felipe wildly gestured towards the door. “You can come back once that hideous thing is removed.”

Jesse wanted to reply, but Felipe instantly raised a fist, so Jesse chose his honour, ran up the stairs to his room and grabbed the bag he’d already packed early in the morning. As if he wanted to stay there for another second.

No thank you.

He shook his head in disbelief. He never expected his father to really kick him out over this. But knowing there was a spare key hidden in the yard, he decided to come back for more stuff once he knew where he would go. He had no idea where he was going to stay for the time being, but even the park sounded more appealing in that moment.

He just wanted to leave, instead of staying around for too long and see his father become even more aggressive.

He didn’t even say anything when he went back downstairs and passed his father on his way out. His father didn’t say anything either, and his mother stood a few meters away, too scared to stop it from happening, but visibly upset.

Jesse left without looking back, because he was too occupied with thinking of a place he could go, without this blowing up in his face.

He knew Yoni wouldn’t mind letting him stay over, but he also knew her parents would want to know what was going on, and then make a huge deal out if it.

Then there was Calix, but his parents were strict and didn’t allow friends to stay over on a school night.

Axel’s parents would probably let him in, but then start a fight with Jesse’s parents and make things ten times worse, before telling him that he had overstayed his welcome and needed to leave again. Which didn’t seem appealing.

And right around the time Jesse stopped riding his bike, and sat down on a bench at the edge of the park, Loek decided to text him again.

Loek: did I scare you away by flirting?

Jesse stared down at his phone, realizing he had basically ignored Loek’s flirting ever since he left Yoni’s house, because he had been busy riding his bike, and getting kicked out of his house.

Jesse: I was a bit busy

Loek: too busy for me? I’m hurt

Jesse laughed softly, shaking his head once again. Loek acted as if they had known each other for months and had been dating at least a few weeks. But Jesse didn’t mind. Loek was funny, and it cheered him up, even while he started realizing he was homeless.

Jesse: I have my priorities in line

Loek: am I your first prio?

Loek: obviously not… second?

Jesse: I’m currently trying to think of a place to sleep ;)

Jesse: which seems like a good priority :)

Jesse sighed, and looked around to see if anything in his surroundings might give him an idea, when his phone started buzzing repeatedly in his hand. He looked down and saw his name on his screen;

Loek

Jesse answered the call with a sigh. “I’m serious, I’m kind of busy right now,” He told Loek, not really greeting him.

“What did you mean when you said looking for a place to sleep?” Loek sounded worried. “Did you lock yourself out?”

“Eh, no. Did I perhaps tell you about my eh, father? When I was drunk?” Jesse bit his lip. He knew he had said plenty of things he wouldn’t ever tell anyone in sober state. But he had told Loek a lot, so perhaps he had also complained about his father.

“You might have mentioned him a few times…” Loek seemed hesitant. “Did you fight again?”

“So I did tell you about him.” Jesse concluded from his last question. “He kicked me out.”

“No!” Loek called out shocked. “Shit, did you tell him you’re gay?”

“What!?” Jesse sputtered, trying to hold back a laugh. “I wouldn’t ever tell him that.”

“Then why?”

“I have a tattoo and I didn’t go to an appointment to get it removed.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, so, unless you have an address where I can spend my night, I really gotta go because, well, I’m starting to get cold.”

“Jesse?” Loek again sounded hesitant, and something about him caused Jesse to keep in his breath and wait for whatever it was he wanted to ask or tell. It remained silent for a few seconds, and it felt like hours to Jesse. But eventually Loek spoke up.

“We have a spare bedroom, why don’t you come over and we’ll see where you can go tomorrow?”

     Loek had lied, there was no spare bedroom—yet. There was a bedroom, a very small one, that currently functioned as an office in which Loek’s brother, Mees, did most of the work for his own small business.

Loek had ushered Jesse in as soon as he had arrived, and introduced him to his brother, before getting him a hot chocolate and a blanket to warm up.

While Jesse was restlessly seated on the couch, Loek and Mees had gone to the kitchen to have a hushed conversation that made Jesse feel as if he wasn’t welcome.

Well, he wasn’t welcome when it came to Mees. Loek didn’t mind his presence. He had offered Jesse his own bedroom, telling him he would sleep on the couch, while Mees had reluctantly agreed that Jesse could stay over for the night.

Mees had long gone to bed, while Jesse and Loek went out onto the balcony, with blankets pulled around them and a heater turned on to keep them warm while drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette.

Jesse had never felt as comfortable with a stranger before, as he did with Loek. Their conversations flowed well, and since Loek already seemed to know everything about Jesse, there was nothing to keep hidden from him either.

Loek, in his turn, shared a few things about himself in return. So, Jesse learned that Loek got kicked out of his parental home because he came out as gay to his parents, and he went to his brother Mees, who was a couple of years older and already had an apartment of his own.

Neither of them had seen their parents in nearly two years. Loek hadn’t, because his parents didn’t want to see him, while Mees chose not to visit them because of what they had done to his younger brother. Jesse envied their brotherly relationship, since neither of his three brothers would ever stand up for him.

If Jesse had decided to run to Hayden or Gregory, who both had their own small apartments two towns over, he was sure they would slam the door shut in his face after laughing at him for getting kicked out.

“What about you?” Loek asked, as if reading his thoughts. “Siblings who you’re close with? Or siblings at all?”

“I’ve got three brothers,” Jesse told him after a deep sigh. “But don’t expect them to help me out. I don’t know which of them hates me more.”

“How is that even possible?” Loek frowned in confusion. “Even when you’re wasted, you’re funny and kind.”

“How is what possible?” Jesse chuckled. “And I heard I can be a bit annoying when drunk.”

“How is it possible they hate you? First of all, they’re your brothers. How can you hate a brother? Also, how can anyone hate you?”

“I don’t know, ask my dad, or any of my brothers.” Jesse shrugged carelessly. “I’m used to it. Can we please not talk about it? It won’t change the fact that I was kicked out tonight.”

“Don’t worry, Jesse.” Loek turned his head to look at him with a sad smile. “You can stay here for a while, if you want.”

“Not if Mees gets a say in that.” Jesse forced out a chuckle, wanting to lighten the mood a bit. “He didn’t seem all too pleased to have me here.”

“He’s just worried about me, it’s got nothing to do with you being here,” Loek admitted with a quiet voice. “He knows you’re my type, and he knows you woke up here before. He doesn’t believe me when I tell him nothing happened that night.”

“But is it true nothing happened? I woke up naked. Why would I be naked?”

“Because you wanted to be naked.” Loek laughed at the mere memory. “You were pretty adamant about hooking up, but as soon as you lay down in bed, you were gone. Can’t say I wasn’t disappointed.”

“That does sound like me.” Jesse chuckled while Loek smirked, and then sighed in content because he, for some reason, felt completely at peace in that moment. Even while he was kicked out by his father, and staying with someone who was practically a stranger. Still, he felt at peace, he felt comfortable, he felt safe. Most of all, the way Loek had offered him to stay over and the way they had been talking for a while, made him feel welcome. Even if there was a big brother who was protective over Loek and didn’t want him to stay over for too long.

“Thanks, Loek,” Jesse mumbled while staring at his bottle of beer. “For helping me out even if you don’t know me that well.”

“Something tells me I know you a whole lot better than your own friends, though,” Loek seriously answered.

And he had a point, because he did know a lot more than his friends indeed.