Khai bowed his head deeply in front of Immin’s Course Administrator. “I am truly sorry, but please allow me to change my courses one more time. I promise you that I have been studying these new subjects as well.”
The Administrator was silent, and Khai hazarded raising his head.
She was looking through the list of courses Khai wanted to transfer into, cross-referencing with his file. “These were your original choices,” she said.
Khai nodded. “Yes. I was suggested those other courses, but...I wish to return to my original ones.”
The Administrator sighed. “Your position is not uncommon. We’ve had students change multiple times. Very well. Consider it done.” She rifled through one of the drawers in the room and pulled out some papers. “Your original schedule, as it were.”
Khai bowed deeply. “Thank you so much.”
*
“This is the second day Mai’s missing.”
Khai gave a darting glance to a group of students. ‘Mai’ wasn’t an uncommon name.
“It’s been a bit cold lately. Maybe fire mages get sick easier with the change in weather,” one of them suggested.
Fire mages though were uncommon in Taesu. He glanced at them. It was a group of three students. From Khai’s sense, two of them were earth mages, and the third a non-mage.
“You know...she never told us where she lived.”
“I hope she’s okay.”
“Crystal configurations has been a bore—” one said, as their conversation shifted to one of their classes.
Khai’s breath quickened. Maybe he could tell them something. At least then they needn’t worry. He glanced at them.
But they looked so refined. What would they see when they looked at him? Would they see a girl?
He couldn’t.
Lowering his eyes, Khai slipped away.
*
Khai left Immin with a mixture of relief and disquiet. Immin was a good university—better than Baashi, even, given that its students did not frequently destroy parts of it.
But Khai felt off-center without Han, and Raah, and even Jin around. The uniform felt wrong, he just knew everyone looked at him and thought woman.
“Mai? Mai!”
Khai froze. Then, ever so slowly, he turned to face his incoming adopted aunt, Healer Mage Tien. She had her black hair pulled up away from her face and cascading down her back. And she was glaring at Khai, hazel-gold eyes flashing.
Khai pulled his fire back, away from the sharp heat of his aunt’s.
“What have you done with your hair?”
For a brief moment, Khai closed his eyes. “I was trying something new.”
Healer Tien scowled. “Well, it makes you look like a boy, so I expect you to be growing out your hair. I came all the way from Karashu, to see you like this!”
Khai ducked his head, feeling the too-curious looks from those around them. He hurried towards his aunt. “Good afternoon, Auntie. Why are you here?” he said lowly.
“Beside to see you? I decided I should also acquire new knowledge concerning healing. Imagine my surprise when I went to your address and found that you had been kicked out weeks ago! Where are you staying now?”
Khai looked away. “I merely moved locations. I didn’t want to worry you. Where are you staying, Auntie?” Automatically, his voice climbed higher.
Tien levelled Khai with a sharp look. Khai met her gaze squarely.
“I see,” she finally said. “I am staying in the accommodation with from the Healers’ Association. Do you have any plans, niece?”
Khai lowered his head. “None, Auntie.” After all, Mai had no plans.
Tien raised her eyebrows. “No friends? Well, I have a dinner booked for the two of us. I thought it would be good to catch up. Come. There is much to speak about. Have you been practicing your healing at least, Mai?”
“Yes, Auntie.” Grudgingly, Khai followed.
Tien took him to a riverside restaurant, taking a table near the steps down to the water, and grilled him on Healing basics. Khai answered them easily enough, and despite himself, he sat a little straighter when Tien gave him an approving nod.
What he couldn’t answer were questions about Immin.
“I was studying,” Khai said. “I don’t take notice of those things.”
“University is more than learning,” Tien scowled. “You must make connections. I thought being around other young women your age would make things better—”
“Brighten up, Song. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?” an older man said to Song.
“Oh, Colonel Maru!” Tien said immediately. “I didn’t know you were here!”
Khai slunk down in seat and turned his face away.
“Why, Healer Mage Tien,” the older man said. He had graying hair, and dressed as one of the common men, rather than as a Colonel. “How lovely to see you! It’s been such a long time—since I adopted Song, I believe.”
Tien gave Song a look over, and nudged Khai subtly under the table. She stood up to face Colonel Maru. “A girl fire mage appeared in the bunch, after. Have you met my apprentice and adopted niece, Mai?”
Khai took a steadying breath. His fire was the same, regardless of what other people thought they saw. Dutifully, Khai stood up and bowed. “Good to meet you, Colonel Maru. And to see you, Song.”
Maru clapped his hands. “Ah, you two know each other!” He looked between them, eyes bright.
Song was looking at him, lips parted. “I—we knew each other from the orphanage.”
“Talk, then! I imagine you both have much to catch up on, as I do with Tien!”
Tien called a waiter for two chairs and more refreshments. Colonel took the seat next to Tien. Song slipped into the chair next to Khai.
Khai had no idea what to say. He could feel Song’s gaze on him. He still didn’t remember Song, but the evidence was clear: they had been at the orphanage together.
“Sir,” Song cleared his throat and looked at his adopted father, “May Mai and I speak in private? We will stay, just over there by the steps down to the river.”
Maru glanced to Tien. “If her aunt does not mind?”
“No silly business,” Tien said sternly.
Song shook his head. “Not at all, Healer Tien.”
Gritting his teeth, Khai got up and followed Song to the riverside steps.
“You were missing today and yesterday,” Song whispered harshly. “There was someone else in your place.”
Khai glared at the river. “Are you happy? You never wanted me there anyway.”
Song’s expression darkened. “Why, Mai? Why were you there? Who’s in your place?”
“The real Quy, son of Lady Chau and Lord Quyen,” Khai recited. “He wanted me as his body double. And now, I’ve served his purpose. Can’t you see? I’m attending Immin now. You and my aunt should celebrate together,” he added bitterly.
“Immin—they would have noticed your disappearance,” Song frowned. “The Immin uniform fits you.”
Khai turned away. “I don’t want to be here. I should be with...not. It’s all wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
Khai looked away. “Forget it.”
In a low voice, Song said, “I think your friends realised that something’s up.”
Khai scoffed. “I know.” He turned to Song and smirked. “Han knows.”
Song gave him a look of surprise. “How? Did you see the fight with Ginzan? He’s still at the Healers for burns.”
Khai gave Song a sardonic look. “Would you have rather I was at Baashi for that duel?”
Song opened his mouth, then closed it, scowling. “I didn’t want you there in the first place, Mai.”
Khai flinched at the name. “Is there anything new you want to talk to be me about?” he said abruptly.
“Mai, don’t be like that, please—do you truly not remember?”
“No.”
Song pursed his lips. “You were younger than me.”
Khai glanced back at his aunt and the colonel. They were both chatting...and looking their way. Khai felt sick. Do they really want us together?
He leaned away from Song, and narrowed his eyes. “Are you gay, Song?”
“Of course not!” Song spluttered.
Khai chuckled darkly. “Then it’ll never work between us,” he said, feeling contrarily cheered up.
“How is that even relevant?”
Khai pointed his head back at their adoptive guardians. “They’re plotting. Maybe they think it’ll be romantic for us to reconnect.”
Song glanced away. “...Right.”
Sensing Song’s uncomfortableness, Khai lapsed into silence. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned the gay thing. Song was...no Han.
“Children! Come, eat,” the Colonel called out presently.
Khai stood up, ignoring Song’s offering hand. His aunt gave him a questioning look. Khai shrugged on shoulder, and his aunt looked away.
*
It was not too late when his aunt concluded the dinner. After farewelling their dinner companions, and after promising to meet his aunt at the Healers’ Association main building the next day, Khai quickly headed to the place he was staying to change out of his Immin uniform and into his clothes.
“Ah, Healer Khai,” Mr. Kiri greeted, the remnants of dinner in front of him. Thon was sitting next to him, and he nodded his head in greeting as well.
“Han left a while ago,” Thon said.
Khai winced. “I have urgent family business to attend to over the next few days,” he said apologetically. “This was the earliest I could tell you.”
Mr. Kiri had a look of sympathy. “Ah, understandable.”
“You don’t mind telling Yang and Han? I don’t want them to worry.”
Mr. Kiri nodded. “Consider it done.”
*
The next day, Khai donned his old white-gold-red healer robes and met his aunt at the front gate of the building of the Healers’ Association of Taesu. Dutifully, he followed his aunt as she met with the other healers, he listened in with professional interest as they traded healing techniques and knowledge, and he tried not to stare at the robes of the handful of male healers.
By the end of the day, Khai’s face felt stiff from smiling, as he forced himself to do whenever his aunt introduced him to the other Healers as Healer Mage Mai, and he found himself hating his voice all over again.
“Your niece is rather quiet, isn’t she?” more than one Healer had commented.
Khai had bowed his head. “With listening, one can learn,” he had replied, and as always, they returned with a comment with how good he was, while his throat clogged up with self-disgust.
That evening, his aunt, and by extension, himself, was invited to dinner with the other female Healer Mages of the Association.
“Taesu’s quite modern,” one of the healers was saying. “The lower districts’ council has a scheme whereby their constituents are allowed free healing the first Sunday every month.”
Khai tried not to scoff, looking up at the other diners. Once a month was not enough.
“Only once a month?” Tien asked, frowning. “If so, you must get swamped on that one day!”
One of the healers smiled self-deprecatingly. “We take turns each month,” she admitted.
“The next one should be easy though,” another healer said. “There’s a new healer down there. A fire mage, by the name of Khai, I heard.”
Khai forcefully fixed his expression, forcefully kept his magic’s usual ebb and flow.
“A young man, I believe.”
“That’s one odd boy to take up healing instead of fighting, if he’s fire-aligned.”
“We should see if he’s worthy to join our association.”
“But a man though?” Tien shook her head. “That is so odd. Surely there are enough men in this association as it is.”
Khai’s stomach tightened.
“The big cities like Taesu are a little more free in that regard,” a healer said, shrugging.
Khai gave his aunt a careful look, but she grimaced, and changed the topic.
“Is it true that sunlight can be use to power healing directly?” she said instead. “Surely it is more efficient to convert it to flame first…”
Khai looked away and back down at his food. No, he could never tell her. He was already feeling tired at the thought of the next, second, day off being around his aunt, and probably all the upcoming evenings while his aunt remained in Taesu. He hoped that at least Han was having a better time.
*
The weekend passed with no sign of Khai, and with his father home, Han holed himself up inside his bedroom, grimly studying. When Monday came around, Han had to drag himself to Baashi.
“Han.” The second year water mage intercepted Han before he reached Baashi’s front gates.
Han sighed. “Good morning, Song.”
Song glanced around, then leaned in. “You know Mai,” he said quietly.
Han blinked at him. “Pardon?”
Song’s face darkened. “Quy. You know Quy.”
Han leaned away. “Well, yes. Strongest Fire Mage of the first and second years at Baashi?” he said drily.
Song scowled. “Mai said you knew her,” he muttered.
“I don’t know anyone named Mai,” Han said, scowling back. “Look, Quy’s probably waiting for me, and he is not one to be kept waiting.” He looked behind him and spotted Quy and his swordsman approaching. “There.”
Song’s lips thinned. “Mai was pretending to be Quy,” he tried.
Han snorted. He’s gotten something messed up. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I hope Ginzan has recovered. Now, have a good day, Song.”
“What was that?” Quy asked when Han reached him.
Han shrugged. “He was mistaken.”
Quy gave Song a measured look, and then smiled at Han. “Nevermind, then. Come, Han.”
*
Song kept a close eye on Quy and Han during the day, but there was nothing he could quite gleam, aside from that Han was acting less friendly towards Quy. At the end of the day, Song went to Immin, the only place he knew to find Mai.
The women at Immin clustered around him, asking him about Ginzan.
“The Healers say he’ll be fine tomorrow,” Song had to reassure them, over and over. He spotted Mai trying to slink past him, but her short hair was a giveaway among all the other girls. “My apologies,” he told the others, and quickly slipped through them. “Mai. Mai!”
Mai darted a glance at him, and kept walking.
Song jogged a little and settled into the same pace beside her. “Mai. How are you?”
“I have to see my aunt,” she said flatly. “What do you want?”
“Shouldn’t we try to get to know each other?”
*
Khai wanted to growl with frustration. He wanted to char Song’s clothes. “When you can’t even respect me, no thank you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m literally not who you think I am. I fought you, I defeated you. If you held back—fine, we can fight again.”
“I just wanted to...back in the orphanage--”
“Back then, I was weak.” Khai rolled his eyes. “I’m not so arrogant as to turn not protection per-se. But you’re trying to protect this false image you have of me in your head. You think I’m that weak little girl. Open your eyes, Song. There are mages here at Immin that would win in a duel against you.”
Song’s jaw tightened. “Perhaps so. Then let me get to know you, as you are now, Mai.”
Khai gritted his teeth at the name. “I have no patience for you right now. Have a good day, Song.”
With that, Khai turned away, ignoring Song, and headed to the Healers’ Association building for his next bout of pretending-to-be-Mai with his aunt.
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