When I was younger, my parents tried to teach me everything they knew about fire safety, most kids here had to learn. It was so easy for a spark to turn into a raging wildfire that shut down the whole town. Where Isaiah had snow days off of school, we had high fire risk days. Looking back, I wasn’t always taught correctly. Kindling and tinder should be stored separately, the ground should be clear of leaves, water should be sprinkled over the flames instead of doused, so you can reuse the wood.
This season’s tinder took to fire quickly, I didn’t even need to use lighter fluid. The moment the first log started to smoulder, the tension left my shoulders. Flames licked up the wood and I melted right beside it. Embers danced around the air in circles to, telling me that there’s no reason to worry.
Online, I often heard people compare pyromania to an addiction; you need your fix in order to function. It’s more like a security blanket or a beloved stuffed animal, you need it to relax. I’m not quite sure when I discovered my own pyromania, but I tend not to flaunt it around. All I need is my own burn time once a week, so it won’t bother me. Lately, I’ve been coming to my firepit more often, maybe because of the stress.
Right as I was about to add another log, a twig snapped behind me. I jolted around and immediately grabbed my bag to run away.
“Megan?” Said a shadow. Oh god, I could recognize that voice anywhere.
Alex stepped into the light of the fire. The last thing I wanted right now was to see one of my past torturers, it’s just more dirt she can use to socially bury me (as if I wasn’t already ten feet under). I moved to run away, but she stopped me.
“Wait!” Something about her tone made me stop. I looked at Alex, like, really looked at her. She seemed different, her hair was shorter, dyed a bright pink, and done up in two large cornrows. Last I checked, she only ever wore her hair straight.
“What do you want, Alex?” I suspiciously glanced at the guy with her. He was smoking a cigarette, almost ruining the woodsmoke smell. Strangely, he looked nothing like one of Alex’s usual boy-toys. The best way I could describe him, he looked like a bassist in a rock band. The harsh light of the fire only made his face look more chiseled.
“I-” She exchanged glances with the boy next to her, “We were taking a walk and saw smoke. Just wanted to see where it was coming from.” I gulped and cleared my throat.
“W-well, it’s just me. Thought I would, uh, roast some marshmallows and…” The boy cocked his head to the side. They’re not buying any of this you idiot. Wrap it up. “ I’m done so I’ll just douse this and be on my wa-”
“Megan.” Alex sternly put an end to my rambling. After what seemed like an eternity, she spoke.
“I’ve been a horrible, shitty person to you.” This had to be some sort of joke, right? There’s no way Alex would ever be this vulnerable. I stared at her like she was a figment of my imagination, nevertheless, she continued.
“I was generally a bad person, but I was the worst to you.” The boy puffed in mild interest. “And I know that no amount of apology can make up for it, but I really am sorry.”
My grip on my backpack loosened a bit. I was speechless. Alex found me in the middle of the woods, but instead of attacking, she was there baring her heart to me. The boy with her seemed equally impressed. She was right, though. I don’t think I can ever forgive her for all her crimes against me.
“I know what you did, Megan.”
Every sound, every movement, every beat of my heart, ceased. I couldn’t move an inch, even if I wanted to. More than anything, I wanted to step backwards into the silently burning fire.
“I know what you did and…” Alex looked down at her sneakers. “I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault.” she looked up, her eyes full of gross pity. “Your life is ruined, isn’t it?”
Isaiah dropped his flashlight. He must’ve realized I snuck out and came looking for me.
“Megan,” his voice trembled, “What did you do?”
Everything had spiraled out of control in front of my own eyes. Mind racing at a thousand miles per hour, I thought; Has Alex told anyone else? Can I trust her? What about Isaiah? Would he hate me if he found out? My knees wobbled, I would’ve fainted on the spot if it weren’t for what happened next.
With a bang, a blinding light exploded behind me. Everyone was thrown back and all the air was sucked from our lungs. My head hit the ground, hard; my vision was fading. I strained to lift my head and look back. What I saw, was an impassable wall of raging fire.
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