The ride home is quick, but unsettling. I can’t get that woman’s eyes out of my mind. Her eyes just looked black, and the memory gives me the shivers. I blame it on her acting weird though. When I return home though, the feeling doesn’t leave. There’s no one here and there’s no one outside yet I swear there are eyes, somewhere, watching my every move. Is it like Dr. Driscall said? I moved too soon. This could be my mind’s way of saying it wasn’t ready for such a drastic change, and watching the news certainly doesn’t help this sensation.

“It was only one month ago when a young hiker, missing for two weeks, was found dead in the woods, Ms. Louise Taylor. Police have deemed her death a tragic accident, having a run in with a bear and now, a local elderly woman, Blanchette Prichard, has been found mauled outside her home. Police were notified this morning after Mrs. Prichard’s daughter found the body during her daily visit,” says the anchor with a sad shake of her head. “The police would like us to remind everyone to be careful and attentive. Bears are known for coming onto properties to dig through trash. Make sure not to leave food out for them either as it teaches them to return and makes them less fearful of humans. Please try to refrain from going out alone, especially at night.”

I jump when my phone suddenly goes off. The call is from Tabby so I turn off the TV.

“What do you want?” I ask, smiling at the immediate annoyed huff she gives me.

“Is that any way to talk to your beautiful baby sister?”

“Beautiful, I wouldn’t say that.”

“We both know I’m better looking than you so you’re only insulting yourself.”

I’d argue but she’s a chatterbox and no one can get a word in unless she wants them to.

“William has been going crazy about your sudden call for a break. He’s even calling us to see how you’re doing so could you possibly start answering his calls?” She huffs.

I’m not surprised to hear it. William does care, but he can be a bit of an anxious mess at times. He’s worried I’m going to lose it while here and put such a pause on my career that it turns into a fiery ball of death that plummets into the earth. Suppose that is part of his job, making sure I keep relevant or whatever.

“Just ignore him, Tabs. I do it all the time.”

“Yes, I am very much aware of that,” she grumbles. “You know, I honestly didn’t think you’d last there so long.”

“Yeah, you and everyone else thought I’d lose my mind.”

“No,” Tabby sighs. “You don’t have any friends there. You’re technically not working. You’re living all alone in a house that might trigger you at any moment. I thought you’d be dying to come home in a week, two at the most.”

True, but honestly, I look around the house, feeling a sense of calm now that I’m not fretting over the supposed “eyes” on me. Must have been from that lady earlier cause now I’m fine, more than fine actually. Better than I ever had been in New York, or anywhere else, that’s for sure.

“I do miss you guys, but being here has been good for me. Painting doesn’t feel like a chore anymore. I’m eating better. I’ve even been going for walks.”

Tabby gasps, “You’re a little human after all.”

“Shut up.”

“Have you remembered anything though?”

I stiffen at Tabby’s innocent question. Out of everyone, she’s the most blunt with me. I wish our parents were like that too because, even if Tabby doesn’t fully understand, she at least respects my wish to remember.

“No,” I admit. “Nothing about that summer. You know, it’s so funny that I can recall talking to them right here, sitting on the dock with Pap, baking cookies and painting with Nana, learning how to swim and running through the woods. Everything is so clear, like it happened yesterday, yet that summer in particular, it’s blank, like it doesn’t even exist.”

“I know, that’s super weird, Winnie.”

I laugh at Tabby’s honesty. “Yes, yes it is. Everyone says it’s my mind’s way of protecting me, but the whole summer? How could I forget three months of my life?”

“I wish I could erase moments of my life,” Tabby says, causing me to go big brother mode, fully ready to ask where this person lives that may have made my sister feel this way until she continues. “Like my scene girl phase freshman year or the first time I had sex because, wow, what a disappointment.”

“Here I thought I had to be worried about you.”

“I mean, yeah, you should. I’m your typical miserable teenager, but like, I’m not too bad. Anyways, I’m getting side tracked. What has your therapist said? And if you don’t remember what happened, do you plan to keep living there?” Tabby asks, which has staring out the windows across the lake. The view is as beautiful as ever.

“My therapist isn’t all that shocked I haven’t remembered. She thinks it’s good that I’m here, but wants me to be careful. I don’t know about the rest though.”

I always assumed I would remember, but what then? This feeling that draws me here, will it go away? I’ve never seen the ending to this “plan” of mine and I never really thought about it. Having Tabby ask makes me question what the hell I’m doing.

“I don’t ever plan to put it back up for sale, I know that much. I love this place. My grandparents loved this place. If I don’t live here forever then I want to at least visit as often as I can,” I say since that’s the best answer I have.

“It was super gorgeous there. I definitely want to visit in the winter. Do you think the lake will freeze over? We could go ice skating!” Tabby squeals happily. It’s so much easier to talk to her when she keeps things so simple, not always asking and bugging me for answers.

We talk a while longer about her eventual next visit. There’s some discussion about boys, mostly her getting on me about going into town to get a drink and find some “smokin’ hot dude” to spend a few evenings with. That does sound like a good idea. Eventually, we said our goodbyes.

It’s right after we hang up that something catches my eye across the lake. My eyes narrow on what I presume to be a firefly, but it’s definitely not. The fireflies glittering over the lake are small and cast a yellow glow while this—this light is a soft white hovering in the treeline; a familiar light.

My head whips to the side, staring at the painting I did a while ago, the one with the ghostly apparition with that same light.

I’m on my feet in a second. The sliding glass door is ripped open. I rush across the patio, but it’s already gone. There are only fireflies. No white light. No sign it was ever there to begin with.

Then there’s something on the wind, a voice, or I’m possibly going mad. I can’t make it out, ca voice whispering words unknown, something warm and familiar. And that tune is stuck in my head as a broken record without words.

I rub my ears, wondering if it’s just the winds going through the trees. The humming of my mind stops. All is silent. For some reason, I get this desire to walk into the woods. I don’t know where or why. My toes even start to twitch, but I never go through with it, even when I swear I hear the woods actually calling my name.

“I think you’re actually going mad,” I say to myself, backing away one step at a time until I’m inside. It’s quiet there and, oddly enough, I don’t feel those eyes on me from earlier for the rest of the night.