Strolling around looking at the sky I see a bird and I call out:

"Pretty Birdie in the sky, please don't poop in my eye.

But if you do, I will not cry.

Gee, I'm glad that cows can't fly."

My roommate, then looks at me, "da F@#k you say?"

I turn and blankly reply, "What? A flying cow would be terrifying"