Dancing on moon drops

dotted in the sky

holding in my tears

I won't cry

I will not cry

not here

not now

because here I'm trapped among peers

here there is sympathy for what with people cannot sympathize

I am a frozen tidal wave

moments from breaking free

I want to surge and writhe, to scream, to fight this

to be me is to be calm

I am a paper airplane tossed along a battlefield

and while bombs shatter hearts

and tears grow canyons

I fly

steady

riding the surge of the wind

to wherever it brings me

hiding my indecisiveness behind a veil of adherence

As though compulsion is void in my mind

I'm living blind

every choice risks the effect so I choose not to choose

simply

to drift

in a star-speckled sea below a star-speckled sky

among the almost silence of the night

broken only by the steady swish of the oar