A clocks ticking of the hand.

  A silent, cold room.

  The only breath given, shaken, weak. Defeated.

  All of this time. No matter how punctual. He was to late.

  Kneeling beside the bed to his grandfather. Holding the weak, frail, and cold hand… Jared couldn’t hold it in even if he tried.

  Screams of pain and loss.

  Tears falling rapidly down his cheeks onto the white cotton blanket.

  Nurses stayed out of the room. They knew this was not the time to intervene.

  He’s gone Jared… There is nothing you can do now… You have nobody… You have nothing… You’re so pitiful…

  “SHUT UP!” Jared cried out as he clenched the lifeless hand. “You…. Why… FUCK!” Unable to process his feelings. Not knowing what to do. John was all he had. All that he knew to hold close to.

  Steven, the nurse, entered the room. He walked to Jared’s side before patting his shoulder gently, speaking kindly and soft to reassure him. “It’s not your fault Jared. It’s okay to let it out. The Chaplin will be here soon enough if you’d like him to pray for you and your grandfather.”

  Jared flicked his shoulder away from Steven as he glared at him. “Who cares about some prick in a suit. Just, just leave me alone…” Jared slumped his head back down as he wept.

  Steven being all to familiar with this type of instance in a hospice center simply adjusted his scrub top before placing a clipboard on the counter top. “When you are ready, we need a signature and he funeral home information to send his body and what you plan on next doing.” Keeping his eye for any reaction he simply sighed silently to himself before leaving the room, closing the door behind himself.

  Jared looked up at his now deceased grandfather. Standing to his feet as he eased the cold hand onto the bed. Reaching a hand to his grandfather’s head, he lightly fixed his hair to the side swipe it always was his entire life. Without another word he turns on his heel to see the clipboard. Writing what was needed, he looked back once more at his grandfather with bloodshot red eyes. “Goodbye…. Old Man…..”

  After leaving the hospice center, Jared drove to the one place he only knew of where to go. Holding back every emotion he had while on the roads, he focused on the traffic lights, other vehicles, and making sure to not to get distracted.

  Parking on the start of the hiking trail by the gate blocking any traffic, Jared grabbed his backpack and rushed out heading straight up the mile hike. Nothing was fazing him currently. His mind was set and focused on each of his steps. Not realizing how fast he walked, he found himself to the second gate. Moving around the side he took a deep heavy breath and let it out with a loud bellowed out scream.

  Kneeling down, his hand balled into a fist as he punched the ground several times.

  “Why!? Why YOU!? FUCK! FUCK!! FUCKING GOD DAMNIT!” Jared punched the ground to where he fell back, sitting in the grass as he let his body go limp. Tears flowing at the corners of his eyes as he stared up at the sky. Clouds being dark grey. The air crisp and fresh. It’s going to rain soon.

  He’s alone. Jared now is completely alone and has nobody to have any connection with anymore. Now that his grandfather is gone, Jared doesn’t know what he should do at this moment. His grandfather was a motivator to him. Even if they never spent that much time together, he was family. John was the father he never had.

  Drip… Drip… Drip...

  Living in the Pacific Northwest, no one gets shocked by the sudden change of weather. Rain was at full downpour to completely drench Jared to the bone in a matter of seconds. He stayed laying there in the grass at the entrance of the graveyard staring up at the sky, his eyes barely flinching from the rain, while he let his energy burst from his departure of his grandfather.

  As Jared laid in the field, there was not an animal in sight. No bird. Not the random squirrel or anything. He truly felt the weight of reality sinking him down into the ground. Closing his eyes he wished that the earth just gobbled him up. Pulling him into the surface, dirt covering his sides, his chest and legs. To where the dirt around his face now snuffed him out.

  JOLT!

  Jared shock straight up. Not a single pinch of dirt on his body. Soaked all the way through his clothing from the rain that he felt chilled and cold to the bone. His face puffy and red, his eyes raw and bloodshot. He sat straight back up before looking out the field of the graveyard and the few headstones that remained. Releasing another heavy sigh, his breath was visible by the coldness of the air. Standing back up onto his feet, he turned away from the graveyard to head back down the trail to his van. If he stayed out to long in the rain he could make himself sick and that would not be smart to do on his part.

  Walking down the dirt, rocky overgrown path. Parts of the ground got flooded from the heavy thick rain. Small little rocks rolled down the steep parts making little waterways. Trying to keep his balance, still has he felt his chest heavy he took a single step, before feeling his stomach sink. His heart skip a pace, just like when you go to step an extra step on a staircase, that doesn’t exist. Jared could only see the ground before him coming closer to his face. A rock caved underneath his foot.

  SPLAT!