Ruby stared at Effie, wondering just how much her friend had heard. Surely she couldn’t have heard much, if she had heard anything at all, for Ruby had made sure to whisper her secret to Mina. She hadn’t thought Effie would hear her. She hadn’t even known Effie was in the room.

And how long had Effie been there? It was rather rude of her to come in without so much as a word. Ruby had half a mind to tell her so, but Effie beat her to it. She spoke before Ruby could even manage to open her mouth.

“I’m sorry,” she said, and there were tears in her bright eyes. “Oh, Rue… Ruby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

She looked the way Ruby knew she ought to feel. Heartbroken. Shut away from the world. Mourning. Effie was a good daughter to her father and would have been a good one to Ruby’s father had their places somehow been switched. She would have been a good sister to Ruby’s brother, too. Ruby looked up at the ceiling (though she didn’t know why there specifically), wondering whether there was some way Mina could switch the two of them and have Ruby be forgotten by all her cousins and Effie have a family that should have been close.

Ruby looked up at the ceiling to keep from crying herself.

“But why didn’t you go home?” Effie went on. “Why would you stay here after… after your father died?”

So she had said it. Ruby blinked, and a single tear fell down her cheek. She hated it, just as she very nearly hated her own coldness. Effie felt more for her father than she had. Effie was the sort of good girl who ought to have been a Cambridge.

Effie showed more for her father than she had, Ruby corrected herself. It was impossible that Effie should feel as much as Ruby did, or as much as Ruby could. The bitterness and rage she had felt on learning of her father’s death were not what she should have felt, but they were stronger than anything sweet Effie could possibly have within her own heart.

Ruby dashed her tears away, hoping Effie hadn’t seen. (Though of course she had. Effie was too good a friend not to notice when someone she loved was crying.) “I didn’t want to leave,” she said.

“But why would you want to stay at Pendleton? We always used to joke about how we would leave at the first chance we could.” Effie laughed a little, then looked ashamed of herself immediately after. “But you stopped… was that when he died? Was it because he died?”

Ruby nodded.

“I would still want to go home,” Effie said. “I would want to be with my family.”

“But your family loves you.” Ruby hadn’t meant to sound quite so petulant, but it did bring Effie to her side and it did get Effie to take her hand, so surely it wasn’t all bad that she had.

“And yours loves you, I’m sure of it,” Effie said, pressing Ruby’s hand tightly between her own. “Your brother --”

Ruby shook her head, cutting Effie off. She wasn’t going to say anything -- she didn’t want Effie to start arguing with her -- but she knew well enough her brother didn’t give two figs for her. He was too busy managing Father’s accounts and making sure the family wasn’t destitute, and while that was all well and good, it did mean she spent far more time on her own than she liked. She felt rather forgotten, more like a shadow of a sister than a real relation.

“You’ve got,” Effie began, but then her voice trailed off. Ruby didn’t wait for her to come up with some new way to finish the sentence.

“I have no one,” Ruby said.

“You have me.” Effie pressed Ruby’s hand tighter still, until it almost hurt, but Ruby didn’t draw away. She couldn’t have, and she didn’t want to. She craved that warmth from Effie’s hand far more than she had realized, far more than she had ever thought she would, and she squeezed her friend’s hand tighter as though to keep her from pulling back and running away.

But Effie would never draw back. She would never run. She was far too good for that. There was one person in the world who would stay by her side, and Ruby didn’t deserve her.

Effie didn’t draw back, even though Ruby was sure she was squeezing her hand tight enough to hurt her. “You have Mlle. Bellerose, too,” she added, and though her smile was surely meant to be comforting, something behind it rang false, and Ruby pulled away.

“I embarrassed myself in front of her.”

“You didn’t --”

“She’ll never think of me the same way.” She was nearly about to start crying again but somehow managed to stop herself before any tears could fall. They merely waited in her eyes as she stared straight ahead, willing them not to fall.

“Maybe not,” Effie said, “but she still cares about you. She worries for you.” Effie took a breath, as though to say something more but Ruby flopped onto her side, burying her face in her pillow.

“I’m tired,” she said, her voice rising into a childish whine. “I want to go to sleep.”

Effie was silent for a while, and Ruby thought for a moment she was sure to say something. Not something scolding, for she was far too kind and good for that, but something quick and bitter, something hurt because Ruby had hurt her and surely that was unforgivable.

But Effie merely leaned close and kissed the back of Ruby’s head before getting to her feet. The mattress shifted as her weight left it, and it was all Ruby could do not to turn and reach out to her friend, begging her to stay. She refused to give in to that sort of sentimentality, that sort of weakness, especially now that Effie could see all the cracks showing in her façade.

“Sleep well,” Effie said gently. “I’ll be here in the morning.”

“I had a brother once.”

Mina’s voice seemed to come out of nowhere, and Ruby tensed, waiting for Effie to say something. But there was no sound from the other girl except the quiet breathing of someone about to go to sleep. Whatever Mina had to say, it was meant for her and her alone.

“At least, I think I did. It’s hard to remember now.”

Ruby turned her head slowly, making sure to face away from Effie. Mina sat on the edge of her bed, staring out at nothing, looking just as Effie had a little while ago.

“I remember there was someone to protect me,” Mina went on, “but he might have been a cousin. He might even have been a lover. Could you imagine, me with a lover?” She giggled, a high sound that seemed too bright for a dead girl, but her voice was somber again when she went on, “But I died at Pendleton so it couldn’t have been a lover. A brother, probably. More girls have those than have lovers, I think. What do you think?”

Ruby didn’t say a word. She didn’t dare.

“But remember what I said. You must stay alive. Will you at least promise me that?”

If she spoke, Effie would hear her. If she spoke, Effie would know either they weren’t alone or that she was mad, and if she hadn’t heard Mina, she would likely assume the latter and send for the doctor again. This was a secret Ruby would have to keep to herself.

“Will you promise me?”

Mina’s voice went on and on into the night, echoing in Ruby’s mind until well after she had fallen asleep.

“Will you promise me? Will you promise me? Will you promise me?”