Agent Rose was bored. For a possible hub of supernatural activity, the bar was almost suspiciously boring. She’d been working here for two weeks now, and she hadn’t seen a single fang, or heard the tiniest tinkle of chains, or served anyone under the height of five feet. And to make today even worse, she was working the twilight shift – no one was going to come in at ten in the evening on a Wednesday.

She was so close to falling asleep. The wood of the bar was worn smooth by years of patrons, and in her bored state, it felt like a feather pillow. Her head dipped lower. The bartender wouldn’t notice if she had just a little nap… Of course, that’s when the door sprang open with a bang, lights flickering ominously.

Later, the agent would not mention the almost-detrimental-to-her-self-esteem loosening of her bowels in her report.

Passing through the doorway was a very tall, very pale woman. Her high-collared, pointy hemmed coat was a matte black that seemed to suck in all the light in the room. Points seemed to be a very important part of her aesthetic – her shoes were pointy, her coat was pointy, her intricately braided black hair ended in two points at her hips. When she smiled at the dumbfounded agent, sharp teeth came down over blood red lips. Her eyeliner was very much on point, making her green eyes glow. (At least, she thought it was the defined eyeliner that did it. People’s eyes didn’t normally glow, after all) As she moved, lime green flashed in the lining of her coat and the soles of her shoes.

Agent Rose was so caught up by all the black and lime and points that she almost missed the man who came in afterwards. He wasn’t quite as pointy as his companion – where her sharpness brought to mind bat wings, he was like feathers, deceptively soft in their sharpness. The starkness of his black leather jacket, pants and boots were softened by the deep green shirt and copper scarf. His cheekbones were defined, even more so by the dark slicked back hair that seemed to explode in a feathery madness from the half-tail it was pulled into. Dark feathery tattoos spread across his forehead and down his cheeks, framing eyes that shined like pirate gold.

The two made an imposing couple, so the agent could be excused from not noticing the bartender’s presence at her side till he spoke.

“Maleficent! Making an entrance as always!” The man bowed before the imposing woman.

The woman laughed throatily, holding out her hand. “You flatter me, my dear bartender. How has life been keeping you? Not too busy I hope.”

“Never!” He exclaimed, kissing the offered hand lightly before turning to Maleficent’s companion. “Diaval. It is certainly a pleasure to see you.”

Agent Rose didn’t quite want to know what the bartender was implying there, but something in her chest died at Diaval’s reply.

“Likewise, dearest.” Unlike his companion, Diaval stepped right into the other man’s space and kissed him on both cheeks, hands over shoulders. “It has been much too long since I last saw you.” And then his eyes caught her dumbfounded gaze.

“And who is that?”

The Agent blinked. “Me? O-oh.” Pretty man. Pretty man getting closer. Pretty man is REALLY CLOSE

“Yes, you. You weren’t here when I delivered the last shipment. Dearest, are you cheating on me?” Diaval said dejectedly, slinging an arm over her shoulders and pulling her against his well-defined chest.

“Oh, uh, there – there’s no cheating involved – going on,” Agent Rose stuttered, “At least, not from me, I – I just work here, I’m new, and you’re new, and you are just very, very pretty and I just – I can’t believe how pointy – NICE – how nice you look, you really…” She trailed off at the look in Maleficent’s eyes, unconsciously shrinking into Diaval’s chest. “Sorry.”

Oh my gosh, I did not just SQUEAK

“Your new little bar-candy likes to run her mouth, doesn’t she dearest?” The man was squeezing her again, but it wasn’t nice anymore. More like an anaconda lovingly squeezing the life out of its dinner.

The bartender sighed. “You can’t blame the girl – being confronted with two remarkable specimens of the human form can do things to a person.” The agent was tugged out of Diaval’s right hold and urged towards the kitchen. “Rosie, why don’t you bring out the tea service?”

“Oh, of – of course sir. Which one would you like?”

“The rose thorn patterned set. But don’t worry about the tea leaves, Diaval has that covered.”

The grin the leather clad man flashed made her clutch the doorframe, and she escaped into the kitchen before she embarrassed herself further.

What the hell was THAT

Quiet murmurs could be heard from the main room as she carefully put together the tea service. The trolley was made from a dark wood, like mahogany or ebony, decorated with silvery flourishes and fleur-de-lis. It wasn’t true silver though, but stainless steel polished to a very high shine. The shelves were green-tinted glass.

The tea set the bartender had requested looked striking against the colours of the trolley. Made from white porcelain, the entire set held a thornbush motif painted in dark green, with roses picked out in purple stones. They looked like amethysts but were probably glass. The teapot was the most intricately decorated, with a gold painted thorny vine wrapped around the base creating the legs. In this she poured a single cup of hot water, before putting the kettle on a lower shelf. The plates had the thorn motif around the rims, with a large purple flower in the centre. On these she sat the scones made that morning, already halved, and in simple gold pots was three different types of jam, including the dark blueberry jam she knew the bartender preferred. The cream, sugar and honey went into their respective pots, each embellished with a purple rose on the side and thorny vines around their bases. The tea cups were the least intricate items of the set. The handle was moulded to look like a thorny vine, painted gold, with a single vine around the rim and a purple flower in the bottom of the cup.

All in all, it was a very sophisticated tea set that fit the bar’s guests perfectly.

Carefully, Agent Rose pushed the trolley into the main room, items rattling against the glass. The bartender had moved his guests to a table near the windows. They would have normally been given a beautiful view of the surrounding trees and starry skies, but tonight the cloud cover was strong and dark, the moon a vaguely lighter patch amid the darkness. As she crossed the room, the agent could hear the first few drops of rain hitting the roof.

Conversation stopped as she got closer. When she stepped in between the bartender and Maleficent to set out the black lace tablecloth, the silence seemed deafening. Her hands shook slightly as she set the table, sitting a cup in front of each person, sitting the scone plate in the centre, dispensing the jams and spoons and butter knives. Then it was just the tea pot.

Cautiously, Agent Rose cleared her throat. “Um, what – what tea would you like me to use?”

The table’s occupants seemed the come back to themselves, the bartender blinking rapidly for a moment.

“Oh, my apologies Rosie,” He said sheepishly. “I was just lost in thought.” Turning to Diaval, he asked, “What delicacy have you brought me this time?”

However, it wasn’t Diaval who answered. A pale hand reached into the depths of her pointy coat and emerged with a black jar, stoppered with a faceted green glass stopper. “We have brought you an Aged Shi Hsien.”

The jar was taken with reverence by the bartender, who cradled it in both hands. “Do I even want to ask how old it is?”

Maleficent smirked. “It is old enough to have been served to the kings of China.” She pointed one gold tipped fingernail at the jar, “That is all that is left of the entire batch.”

Diaval leaned in, “It’s different from most Shi Hsien teas, in that it contains original Narcissus petals.”

“Original?” At this, the bartender seemed even more impressed, and he reluctantly passed it over to the agent. “Just five spoons into the pot Rosie.”

Agent Rose sat the strainer into the top of the pot and hesitated. The bartender was leaning forward, watching her hands intently. As she scooped the tea, she was aware of how badly her hands were shaking under the scrutiny. It took several tension strained seconds to dispense the tea leaves and fill the pot with the boiling water. While it steeped, she busied herself with unfolding the tea cosy, setting out the cream and sugar and honey. Six minutes later she was pouring the dark tea through the strainer into each cup.

As she went to put the teapot aside, Maleficent placed a hand on her arm. “Pour a cup for yourself child,” She said, “You deserve to try some after the wonderful work you’ve done putting this spread together for us.”

“Tha—Thank you.” She stuttered. Diaval stood and took her hand, guiding her to the empty seat she hadn’t noticed between Maleficent and himself. The bartender handed her another cup and saucer from the trolley, and she carefully poured herself some tea.

Across from her, the bartender added a single spoon of honey, stirring it well. Maleficent added a few sugar cubes and a small amount of cream. At the agent’s curious glance, she said, “I prefer my tea sweet, especially this kind of aged tea. I would suggest adding at least a little honey to yours – more if you don’t drink tea often.”

Diaval was already drinking his, obviously preferring it straight.

The bartender wordlessly passed her the honey, and she wasted no time adding some to her cup. She cautiously had a sip. Let it settle over her tongue. “Hmmmm.” She hummed quietly. The tea was set down and several more spoonful’s of honey found their way into the cup.

Maleficent laughed. “Not a tea drinker child? Dearest, what have you been teaching her?”

The bartender broke off his impassioned staring contest with Diaval, who had already finished his tea, and glanced guilty at them. “Sorry, what was your question?”

“What have you been teaching… Rosie, was it?”

“Uh, yes, it’s Rosie, and, um, most bars don’t sell tea, do they?” Agent Rose cursed her suddenly twisted tongue. She was fine around other attractive people, but these ones were intimidating.

“This isn’t a normal bar child, but you’re right.” Maleficent stood and stalked to the back of the bar, coat spreading dramatically around her. She leaned to look at bar front, where all the expensive specialty liquor was, and came back with a strange black bottle. Dragon shaped, it was designed to look like it was spouting lime green flames straight up into the air. The flames, it seemed, was the stopper, and the liquid inside was as dark as the glass. A generous amount was poured into Maleficent’s cup, and she titled it in the agent’s direction.

“Would you like some?” She asked.

Agent Rose glanced in the bartender’s direction, but he just waved. “Your shift is almost over anyway. You’re welcome to try some, but you’ll have to room here tonight. I’m not letting you drive with noir absinthe in your system.”

She thought it over for a moment, then shrugged. What the hell. “I’d love to try some, Miss Maleficent.”

“It’s just Maleficent, child,” She said as she poured a smaller amount into the agent’s glass, “And dearest is right, you shouldn’t go anywhere alone after drinking this.”

With the alcohol and the honey, the tea was much more palatable. Sweet, with the slightly bitter aftertaste of the tea itself, and a trace of something that felt almost like sparks on the back of her tongue after each sip.

“This is delicious Maleficent!” Within moments, the cup is empty, and the agent’s mouth is tingling.

“It’s nice to find a fellow absinthe drinker.” Maleficent gestured at the bartender, who was blushing at something Diaval had whispered in his ear. “He’s not much of a drinker of anything but tea – and his homemade tea blends are the best. Another cup child?”

Agent Rose gracefully accepted another doctored drink. “You’re not as scary as I thought you were.”

“Scary? Me?” She put one pale hand on her chest in mock surprise. “Child, I am the very inspiration of nightmares.”

And all Agent Rose could do was laugh.

One more cup of tea turned to two. Then three. Then the agent wasn’t keeping count, but just laughing at the stories her wonderful table companion was telling, consuming everything put before her. She ended up shuffling her chair closer, leaning her head on black coated shoulder.

Stroking the fabric, she asked, “What’s your coat made out of? I want a coat like yours. It looks so warm.” She rubbed her cheek against it, feeling smooth scales that radiated heat like a furnace. “Is it snakeskin? It’s nice.”

Maleficent laughed and handed her another cup of tea. “More like dragonskin child. Would you like a scale coat, or would you prefer feathers? Or maybe fur.”

The agent made a face. “Not fur. Fur makes me sneeze. A whole tribe of people came in last week and they must have bathed in dog hair ‘cause I started sneezing the second they walked in, and they left fur everywhere afterwards.”

Her headrest shook with laughter. “So not fur then. Do you want scales?”

“Hmmmmm…” She closed her eyes for a moment, “Yeah. Yeah, I want a scaly coat. Like yours.” Then she opened her eyes, taking in the now-empty cup, and looked up pitifully. “More tea?”

“Then, dear child, would you like to come with me? I can give you a coat, and a warm place to rest, and as much tea as you’d like.” A warm hand took her empty cup, and she took the chance to wrap both hands around the warm scales.

“Mmmmm. Yes please.”

“Alright then.”

The world seemed to shrink and grow darker. Across the table, Diaval and the bartender seemed to glow in shades of orange and yellow and green. The teapot was glowing too, and the lights around the room grew brighter. The room dropped in temperature, and she hissed as the cold cut through to her bones. A large, warm hand wrapped around her, just behind her head, and suddenly she was wrapped in wonderful warm scales. She hissed in contentment.

Vaguely, she (felt?) heard the bartender talking. “Aren’t you supposed to ask before kidnapping my employees?”

“I’m not kidnapping her. I’ve offered her an alternate place of employment. And look at how pretty she is now.”

Her head was tugged out into the cold and she hissed, twisting in an attempt to get back to the warm place.

“I didn’t know that there were pink snakes.” Diaval said.

“Snow corn snakes can come in pink, but she’s a much nicer shade.” Maleficent stroked her head before tucking her away. “Besides, I will treat her well.”

“Well, she didn’t give me any details of next of kin or friends to contact in an emergency… so I’m not legally obligated to contact anyone about her. But next time, please don’t drug your new pets. I’d rather not be involved.” The bartender said, voice getting distant and harder to hear.

“She’s better off with me anyway… And no promises.” Maleficent said.

Deep in her pocket, curled around herself, Agent Rose was thinking about one thing.

Mmmmmm…. Waaarrrrmmmm…….