Schuyler

Sundays always felt so slow going for Schuyler. Even after a whole two years it felt weird not to be getting dressed for church. But then again why would he go to church to praise a God his mother and father had him convinced would never love him as he was. So  Sky decided to start a new tradition. Sundays were "me days" where he'd spend his day wasting time lying about how he was gonna get this or that thing he'd been procrastinating on done.

Today however, he was meeting up for a four o'clock appointment with his new therapist. The center was smaller than Sky remembered with one of the lights overhead flickering every few seconds as he sat in the waiting room. He'd only ever been to the center once before and spoke to a woman named Jane Cruz with kind brown eyes and a soft smile who stated she'd be his therapist. Don't blame Sky for not being all that stoked about it.

They didn't talk about much that day though, they just discussed possible goals for his being there and then he kinda sat there rambling about how his older sister was his reason for even going, and then his nieces, and how he was probably gonna end up spending Thanksgiving with his sister's family this year, wanting to talk about anything but the reason for why he was there. It still made him uneasy. Sky wasn't crazy, maybe a little messed up but he could handle himself... at least that's what he thought about a week ago.

When his therapist, Miss Cruz, stuck her head out of the door and called on him he hesitated. What was he doing here? Honestly he was fine, these last few years may have been trying but he was okay, that night he was just having a small lapse of judgment is all. He didn't need any drugs or some shrink telling him anything he didn't already know.

"Hello," Sky said as he walked through the doors.

"It's nice to see you again, Schuyler. How was your day," Cruz said, giving him a warm smile as she lead him down the hall.

Seeing a bowl of candy in the window of the small pharmacy giving way to the hall Sky reached in to grab a few dumdum suckers. "Fine, though I'm a little exhausted."

"You didn't get much sleep?"

Face flushed Sky opened a sucker and shoved it in his mouth. "No I slept fine, it's just these days I'm more tired than usual."

Nodding her head Cruz opened the door to her office. It was a small homey little room with a window that gave a poor view of the parking lot behind the center. This was Rockfort so you shouldn't expect a good  of view anything, everything in this city was so close together and cluttered.

Sitting down at her desk Cruz turned her chair around to face Schuyler. A little nervous he blinked, moving the sucker to the left side of his mouth and looking anywhere but directly into her eyes.

"So what's happened since the last time we spoke? We didn't get to really talk much about any goals you may have had," Cruz said, sitting up straight in her computer chair.

"Well, you know that before I came here, like a week ago, that I was contemplating suicide," Sky said. Honestly it felt so weird to say aloud, like it was forbidden. People don't talk about stuff like this, it wasn't normal.

"And you had a plan, yes."

"I wouldn't call it a plan, more just me not thinking straight. But I'm feeling a little better I guess, I ended up meeting someone and they ended up stopping me."

Turning around in her seat to type Cruz hummed an "uh-huh" before turning back to Sky. "Was this a friend of yours?"

"I don't really know... We went on a few dates and we haven't known each other long but he's easy to talk to. There's no judgment or obligations, just us being ourselves." Sky shrugged, smiling to himself a little.

"That must be nice. But how do you not know if he's your friend? You said you two went on a date," Cruz raised a brow at him, one corner of her mouth going up.

"Because we haven't known each other long and honestly I don't wanna rush into things blindly. I've done that with my last two exes and it didn't work out."

"How so?"

"Well... I found out I was bi during my senior year and started dating this sophomore. My brother ended up accidentally outing me... you can imagine how that ended. To be honest I don't regret it but I'd say the last relationship I was in was just... I don't know..."

"Did something happen? Did they cheat on you or..."

"Yes. My ex, uh Tyler, before he cheated I took him to meet my parents and things were going well. We helped fix plates and made a cake for dessert and then my niece saw us holding hands and my dad went off. I don't know why he did it though, and I never would have known he cheated if he hadn't said anything but I guess he thought I suspected something cause I decided to ends things with him after I noticed he was treating me different. I never told him I was bi, just that I'd had a girlfriend at one point which I feel bad for lying about but I didn't want him to treat me different... I don't know. Anyway, I guess he was worried cause after Thanksgiving and that disaster of a dinner I started hanging around my sister-in-law more and instead of confronting me on his suspicions that I was 'cheating' he decided to one up me. So yeah..."

"That sounds rough."

Snorting Sky licked his lips, stifling a laugh as he pulled the sucker stick from his mouth, the tiniest bits of candy still sticking to it. "Understatement of the year."

"That has to be trying. Having the person you reached out to treat you that way," Cruz said, eyes meeting his.

"But maybe it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't placed all my trust into one person." Sky frowned, putting the sucker back in his mouth to tear at the paper with his teeth, slowly unraveling it.

"What do you mean by that?" Cruz asked, brows furrowing a bit.

"When Tyler and I got together I started to... lean on him too much I guess, and it didn't help that my family basically wanted nothing to do with me and I guess I convinced myself that I didn't have anyone else to turn to. When those things happened with my family  it made me realize I can't just expect my partner to be the only person who I can trust or turn to when everything else becomes too much." Sighing Sky got up and tossed the sucker stick in the trash can next to Cruz's desk. Once he sat down again he took another sucker out of his pocket, opening it up as he mumbled, "None of that would have happened if I wasn't so stupid."

"It's not your fault though. You can't account for another person's feelings. Should you have sat down and talked to him, maybe. But that doesn't mean he still wouldn't have taken advantage of your trust in him," Cruz said, clasping her hands together.

"I guess you're...." Frowning Sky touched the sucker to his tongue, it was root beer. "Ew- I guess you're right."

"People are constantly growing and ever changing, Schuyler. Now, is there anything else that's been bothering you?"

Frowning a bit Sky scratched the back of his neck and hesitated before slowly nodding. "There's been a lot of things bothering me lately."