POV: Dillion Smiley 

Tick

Tick

Tick

Tick

Tick

How long are we going to stand in the awkward silence? Just fucking start yelling already. Damn.

“You are going to church and that's final,” Mom says.

“I said no.” I narrow my eyes.

“What’s the big deal? You like church.” Trina says.

Yeah, fucking right. I fucking hate that place. I can’t go back there. Not after…

“Your sisters right, since when did you stop liking it?” Dad pushes.

“I said I don’t want to go, it’s a fucking Friday! Who the fuck goes to church on a Friday!?”

Mom slaps me, “Watch your mouth.”

I fucking hate this family.

“Trina, take your little sister to church and make sure they pray for her,” Dad says.

“I’m not little anymore!” I snap at him.

Mom raises her hand as if she is about to slap me again, I flinch away.

“Come on, let’s just go.” Trina grabs my arm and drags me out the door to her car.

Friday’s are the youth nights at church. I’ve been going for years, I hate it. I only went because…

“What’s up with you? You love youth night.” Trina says as we drive to the church.

Not anymore.

“Did something happen last week? You know I would have gone but I had that work function to go to.”

Yeah right, you fucking work at the community college. They close at five. Liar.

“Last week was the party,” I say.

“Yeah? How was that?”

A nightmare.

“Whatever.”

She frowns at me and turns the radio up. Christian music plays out. I just cross my arms and stare out the window. I would rather be anywhere else but here.

“How’s school?” She asks during a song break.

“The same.” I sigh.

“Dillion you do know I used to go to that school, it’s only been like three years since I graduated. I know about G.R.O.S.S.”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” I smirk.

She has no idea that I am undefeated. I beat her record. I am the new gross champ. Take that Trina finally something I am better than you at.

“What’s your score?” She asks.

“My overall record is 174.”

“What! No way! Not even I got that many, how many times have you been taken down?”

“None. I am undefeated.” I gloat.

“Lair.” She says skeptically.

“No really.” I pull out my phone and open the app to show her.

She glances at it once we stop at a red light.

“Wow! Look at you. Go, little sister.” She smiles.

“You are in the presence of royalty.” I laugh.

She rolls her eyes and goes once the light turns green.

Seeing the church come into view makes me curl in on myself. I don’t want to be here. Anywhere but here. Trina looks to me in concern as she parks the car.

“Everything okay?” She asks.

“Yep.” Hell no.

“Well okay then, let’s go in.” She steps out of the car and leads the way inside.

Fuck this place.

Before we even walk in I can already hear the lame Christian rock blaring out. I take a shaky breath and prepare myself. Trina walks off to help set up for snacks and stuff with the other youth leaders. I walk into the service and linger towards the back. Everyone is at the front singing along. The lights are low and a projector plasters the song lyrics onto the wall.

“I thought you might not come.” She wraps herself around me from behind.

My heart jumps inside of me and I tense up.

“Come on, come with me.” She pulls me away.

I have no choice but to follow her.

She leads me to a secret back room used for storing broken chairs. She locks the door behind us. Tonight she has on black jeans and a frilly looking blouse. Her brown hair is down in nice waves and curls. The perfect picture of a good Christian youth leader. Little does everyone know, she is the devil.

“Relax.” She chuckles as I back away and cross my arms around myself.

How can I relax after last time? So stupid. Why did I let that happen? She was drunk. She’s older than me. I’m 17, she’s 24. I shouldn’t have let that happen.

“Stormy, can we just pretend that didn’t happen.” My voice cracks.

“But it did, and I liked it.” She walks over to me and pulls me closer to her.

“You were drunk.” I point out.

“Not that drunk, and if I recall correctly, you were completely sober.”

“I’m not gay.” I force a laugh.

“Neither am I.” She pulls me in and kisses me.

If my sister catches me… if my family finds out... if anyone finds out…

She shoves me against the wall and quickly starts unzipping my dress. Fuck. This is hot. I like it. No, I can’t be gay. Please no. This is a disaster.

Our tongues fight for dominance and I find my hands running over her chest. Her nice full chest. She yanks my dress down a little and exposes my bra. Her hands quickly find their way underneath and tease my breast.

I snap back to my senses once I hear the music stop. I push her off with great force and cause her to go stumbling back. Then I quickly fix my dress.

“Stop it. I don’t, we shouldn’t... fuck! Just don’t okay.”

“What’s the big deal? We already had—”

“That wasn’t supposed to happen! You seduced me! I came to you for help and you… I trusted you!”

“Please, we both know your “trust” was just you having a crush on me. If anything you took advantage of me. I was the drunk one.” She crosses her arms.

I need to get out of here, away from this nightmare. I quickly walk to the door but she blocks my way.

“Just admit it, you like me. You’ve always liked me. Don’t think I didn’t notice how long you stare at me, how often you pretend to “accidentally” hold my hand a little too long. All your sideways glances and smiles. It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone.”

“I’m not gay!”

“Who you trying to convince here?”

“Please just don’t tell anyone what happened,” I beg.

“I won’t, you can trust me. After all, I like you too.” She pulls me close again.

I don’t even know if I like her anymore. I see her in a whole new light now. I thought that in her drunken haze I could open up to her, that she was my friend. I was wrong. She has just been stringing me along to fuck me, and she got what she wanted.

She doesn’t like me. She just wants to screw me. If she really liked me she would have called me and checked to make sure I was okay, but she didn’t. Now here we are and here she is trying to fuck me again.

“Smile for me Smiley, it’s okay. Your secret is safe with me.” She lifts my chin up.

I look up at her and meet her dark brown eyes. Why did it have to be her? Of all the people who could have done that to me, it had to be her. My image of her is forever ruined. I wanted it, I wanted her, now all I want is out of this nightmare.

“I’m scared,” I admit.

“It’s okay, I’ll protect you. I’ll make it all better.” She leans in and kisses me.

Why do her lips have to be so soft? Why does she have to taste so good? Why does her skin have to be so smooth? Why does her touch have to feel so right? Why do I have to be like this? Why…

She once again pulls down my dress this time letting it fall to the floor before slamming my back into the door.

We miss the whole service and the after service. When we finally emerge from the room my hair is all tangled and my shoulder has a large hickey on it. My lips are swollen from all our kissing, and my dress doesn’t quite wear the same as it did before. I quickly go to the bathroom to clean up. Then I meet Trina in the snack room along with everyone else. Stormy is already there talking to some other people as if she is the perfect example of the Christian lifestyle. I feel dirty being here.

“Hey, where have you been? I didn’t see you in the after service.” Trina says.

“I was talking with Stormy she was giving me some one on one advice about stuff. We prayed a lot.” I lie.

“Oh, I did notice she was missing too.” She nods.

“Emm.”

“Feel better?” She asks.

“Oh yeah, you know Stormy. She’s a miracle worker.” I force a laugh.

“Great, well eat up and then I’ll take you home.” She smiles.

I wish I could tell her the truth. I hate this place. I hate feeling like this. I wish it was Monday already and that I was at school, that way I wouldn’t have to worry about all of this. I hate my life.

When I leave I shoot Stormy a glance, she winks at me. I feel blush cover my cheeks. That makes her smirk. The car ride home is silent.

Once I get home I quickly run upstairs to my room and grab some clothes before heading for the shower. The pink temp dye washes out of my hair. I sigh in disappointment as I watch the pink water swirl down the drain. If my parents weren’t so strict, I would dye it for real.

After the shower, I head back to my room and pull out my laptop. Time to get back to business. I have to find out anything I can on Rebel Reid. No way am I going to let her ruin the game for me. Not on my watch.

My search last until 3 AM and yields absolutely nothing. No social media, no friends or family on social media, nothing. This girl practically doesn’t exist. Which means we have to go old fashioned. I’ll have to see what the daily gossip can turn up about her. Surely there must be something. Right?

I sigh and shut my laptop before tuning out the lights and going to sleep.

The next day nothing eventful happens. I just do my chores and watch TV. While I was flipping through the channels mindlessly, I catch sight of a show with a lesbian couple. They were kissing. The sight of it makes my insides tingle.

“Ugh! Yuck. I swear you can’t turn the Tv on without that disgusting garbage always being pushed in our face. We can’t push our religion but they can push their disgusting gays on us.” Dad says as he comes into the room.

His voice catches me off guard and I flinch.

“Hehe, yeah, I know what you mean. I was just flipping through the channels.” I quickly changed the channel.

“Maybe there is a way I can block it off the tv, I don’t want that trash in our house.” He plops on the couch next to me.

“Maybe…”

He takes the remote right out of my hands and starts fiddling with the tv settings. I quickly get up and go to my room. They would never understand. They would hate me. That’s why I can’t be. I’m not. I refuse to accept it. I’m not gay.

When I open the door to my room my mom is going through my stuff. Again. That’s the third time this month.

“Can I help you?” I ask.

“I am your mother I have the right to go through your things. You’ve been acting very off lately. I know you are hiding something. Are you on drugs? Did you have sex? What is it? What are you hiding?”

God, she sounds crazy. I wonder if she hears herself…

“Nothing! I am not on drugs, I am still a virgin, and I am making good grades now can you get off my ass?”

She slaps me.

“Whatever it is I will find it.” she spat.

“Whatever. Look all you want there is nothing to find. I’m an open book” I roll my eyes.

She narrows her eyes at me before pushing past me and slamming my door on her way out. She’s off her rocker. How anyone could love her crazy obsessed ass is beyond me. What does dad even see in her?

I sigh and start putting back all the clothes she flung out of my drawers in her haste to uncover the truth. There is a light knock at my door before it opens. Trina stares at me.

“You know you really shouldn’t antagonize her.” She says.

“She antagonizes me. I seriously don’t do anything wrong, yet does that stop her from violating my privacy? No. So unless you are going to help me clean up, please leave me alone.”

“I uh, just wanted to talk, do you have a minute?”

“Where else am I going to go?” I swear everyone in this house is dumb.

She sighs and walks in, shutting the door behind her. Then she sits behind me on my bed and watches me clean up.

“Well?” I say when I can bear the silence no longer.

“Um, Yesterday. You said you were with Stormy right?”

I freeze my movements. Does she know?

“Yeah.” I force the word out.

“Did she like, um, try anything with you?”

Shit. Play dumb.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s no secret that Stormy likes to get a little too close with the girls. There have been many complaints on her about her um, trying to… touch them. I know you two are close, and I just want to be sure you’re safe. She didn’t try anything at the party, did she? Is that why you were acting all weird?”

Fuck. I can’t speak. The words are caught in my throat. I’m scared. Do I tell her the truth? No, of course not. Don’t be an idiot. Deny until you die.

“What are you even talking about? Stormy would never. She’s my friend. Complaints, what complaints? Are you saying Stormy is gay?”

She sighs in relief.

Help. Help me. She did, she did do stuff with me. Even worse, I liked it.

“It’s just some rumors going around at the church. Nothing has been proven yet. People are just saying that she um, takes advantage of the Teen youth group of girls. That she gets close to them and then um, forces them to do inappropriate things with her. You should be careful around her. The church is currently investigating her. We can’t kick her out without solid proof. I don’t want you to become her next victim.”

I already have.

“Well, she’s never tried anything with me. She’s really good to me. She really gets me. She uh, helps me get closer to god. I don’t think those rumors are true. Haters will be haters.” I say.

“Just be careful. I know you two have a bond, but I don’t want you to get caught up in all of that. If she ever does do something to you, you can tell me okay. We’re sisters, sisters stick together. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

Lair. Where were you last Friday, why weren’t you there?

“Cool, well I uh, got to finish cleaning. Apparently, mom thinks I keep my dirty secrets in my sock drawer.”

She chuckles and gets up to leave.

“Oh and Trina,”

“Yeah?” she turns to look at me.

“Thank you, for checking in. It… means a lot.”

“Any time sis.” She smiles before leaving.

I stare at all my clothes on the ground. I suddenly don’t feel like cleaning anymore. So apparently, I am not the only one she’s done this to. She is using me, and I fell for it. Even worse, I like it. What is wrong with me?

Don’t, don’t you dare fucking do it. Don’t cry. Suck it up. You are Dillion Smiley, the queen of Sunder High.

My phone dings from a text and I look at it. It’s from Flynn.

‘we still on for the movies?’

Finally, a distraction.

‘Of course, pick me up in an hour 😉’

‘Sounds good, see you soon Smiley.’

My reflection from my phone screen frowns up at me.

Smile.

That’s better.

Just keep on smiling Smiley, they will never know.