"Anyway, the real moral of the story is, don't ever try paint upside down on a ladder." Gabriel says.
My laugh filters through the phone as I lay on my bed. "I can't believe you did that. Even as a six-year old."
"What can I say?" Gabriel laughs along with me. "I was a curious kid."
"That's insane." I chuckle.
Our laughter dies out before Gabriel says, "By the way, I found the cutest little sushi joint in the city yesterday. You have to try it when you come to New York!"
"Oh uh, I don't really like sushi."
"What!" Gabriel exclaims through the phone. "How can anyone not like sushi?"
"I'm just not big on seafood."
"That," Gabriel states. "Is a crime. You should serve time for such an act."
I chuckle, rolling over on my bed. "My roommate thinks I'm crazy too. He loves sushi."
"I like your roommate better than you right now."
Smiling, I say. "Yeah. He's awesome."
Gabriel asks, "What's your roommate like?"
"He's sweet, caring, understanding, doesn't push boundaries. He just knows me by heart, he's my best friend." I smile.
"Sounds like you've known him for a long time."
"We met in high school. He was a senior when I was a freshman."
"And this roommate of yours, does he have a name?"
"His name is Jack."
"Is he coming to New York with you?"
"Yeah," I say. "He works as a talent scout at the company."
"A talent scout? That's pretty cool. Think he'll recruit me?"
I grin at Gabriel's teasing tone. "I think he might."
Gabriel's laugh as warm and melodic and sends an involuntary shiver down my spine. He speaks lowly in a golden tone. "Hm, I may just have to go for Jack instead of you. It sounds like he's got his life sorted out pretty well."
"You can," I laugh jokingly. "He's gay too."
"He is?"
"I mean, he had girlfriends in school before he really figured it out. But he's also had crap luck with finding a guy that deserves him."
"Why's that?"
"No guy is good enough for him." I growl.
Gabriel chuckles. "You sound really protective of him. It's nice."
"He's my best friend," I shrug, even though Gabriel can't see it. "He was there for me when I needed him most, I'm just returning the favour and being a good friend."
"So he's never been in a healthy relationship?"
"Healthy, yes. Were they nice guys though? No."
"When was the last time he was in a relationship? Maybe I can set him up with a friend." Gabriel jokes, eliciting a laugh from me.
"He went on a date a few nights ago but it didn't end well. When I asked him, he said there was someone he already likes."
"Did he say who?"
I stare at my ceiling in sadness, thinking about my best friend. "No, he never gave me a name. I think he believes that he'll be rejected if he ever tells them."
My heart went out to my best friend. He deserved someone who would treat him like a prince and if he tried, maybe this guy could be the one.
"That sucks, but you can't live your life fearing rejection of others."
"That's true, but I'm having a hard time convincing him of that."
Gabriel hums. "What about you? Did you have any girlfriends in high school?"
I burst out laughing. "God no. I realised I liked boys around the age of fourteen and believe me, no guy or girl would've wanted to date me at that age. It wasn't a good sight."
"I'm sure that's not true," Gabriel says flirtatiously. "After all, look at you now."
I'm about to reply when I hear Jack calling me from the kitchen. "Troye! Your sister's here!"
Sitting up quickly, I say "I'm sorry, I have to go."
"Hey, no worries." Gabriel replies warmly. "We can talk later. Bye Troye."
"Bye Gabriel."
Tossing my phone to the side, I roll off my bed and take off my hoodie. Balling it up and throwing it in the corner, I put on a grey sweatshirt with jeans, fixing my hair in the mirror before leaving my room.
As I make my way down the hall, the sound of whispering hits my ears. Coming to a stop, I pause in the hallway and listen.
"You're going to have to tell him sometime." I hear my sister whisper. "If you don't tell him and he figures it out, it's just going to hurt him even more."
My heart breaks when I hear Jack's sad sigh as he says, "He can never know, not after everything he's been through."
I frown. Who were they talking about? Was this about the guy that Jack likes?
"He could use someone like you," Aria pushes. "You'd be good for him."
"I wouldn't."
"Jack," Aria says gently, placing a hand reassuringly on his arm. "I've seen the way he looks at you. Trust me, this isn't one-sided."
Wait, Aria knows this guy too?
Jack shakes his head. "I can't take that chance. I can't hurt him."
"You know him. Maybe if you just-Troye!"
Unable to bear the guilt of eavesdropping any longer, I move into the room and make myself known.
Surprise is written all over Aria's face whilst Jack turns away from me. "How long have you been there?"
"I just came out of my room then." I reply half-truthfully, trying not to let the confusion show on my face. What were they just talking about?
"Okay, uh." Aria says, seemingly at a loss for words. Then she grins, gesturing to the pile of magazines on the coffee table. "You ready to start?"
Casting a suspicious look between the pair, I decide to let it go and shrug. "I guess."
***
"What do you think of this one?" Aria questions.
Looking across the table at one of my sister's many folders, I shrug. "Looks the same as the last one to me."
"They're not the same." Aria laughs. "You are no help today."
"What do you want me to say?" I mumble. "I don't know anything about this stuff."
"Troye," Aria rests her hand gently on top of mine. "Is everything okay?"
Flipping the magazine closed, I lean back and let out an exasperated sigh. "Why are we even doing this? It's not like mum and dad will get divorced any time soon. A celebration of this size seems a little unnecessary."
Aria frowns. "We're doing this because our parents gave up so much to raise us, and provide for us, and give us everything we wanted. The least we can do is show them so gratitude."
"So I suppose Mother's Day and Father's Day is meaningless?"
Aria sighs and closes her folder, looking across at me directly. "Troye, what's really going on?"
Turning my head, I look out the window at the cars passing by. Somehow Aria and I had ended up at a small cafe to continue planning our parents' anniversary. The atmosphere was warm and comfortable but I couldn't get into it.
"Nothing's going on."
"Troye," Aria says. "You're my little brother. I've known you since you were born. I know when something is up with you."
I turn to face her again. "Fine, if you really must know, I'm worried about Jack."
"Why?"
"He's been acting different."
"Different how?"
"Well," I say. "For starters, he went out on a date the other night and came home upset. He told me it was just another bad experience but it was like there's something he wasn't telling me. Lately he just seems distant."
"Maybe he's just tired from work?"
I shake my head. "No, it's not that. Everything for New York has already been planned and Jack has nothing to do with Fashion Week. He's only coming to New York to meet potential clients. It can't be that."
"Has he said anything else to you?"
My eyes drop to my lap. "Just that he likes someone, but he won't tell me who."
Aria shifts slightly in her chair. "Do you have any idea who it could be?"
"No." I say. "All he's told me is that making a move on them would mean he loses so much. I just want my best friend to talk to me."
"Maybe it's not something you can help with." Aria says quietly.
"I just want to try." I exclaim. "He's always been there for me, I just want to be there for him. Even if he doesn't tell me who it is, why couldn't I help him some other way? His self-esteem isn't great either."
"Troye," Aria says gently. "I'm sure he'll tell you when he's ready."
I look away. "It doesn't feel that way. It's as if he doesn't want me involved in his personal life."
"All you can do is be there for him." my sister speaks softly. "Show him you care and that you'll be around to catch him if he falls. The best you can do for him right now is just show your support, but make sure he knows that you're willing to respect his boundaries."
"I guess you're right." I sigh before looking back at my sister. "Wait, do you know who it is?"
Aria shakes her head. "This doesn't involve me."
My brain attempts to process her words but I have a hard time understanding. Isn't that what she and Jack were talking about this morning?
I'm about to push the subject further when Aria simply flips open her folder again and says, "Let's get back to work."
When I arrive home that afternoon, Jack is working on his laptop at the kitchen bench. Without a word, I sit down next to him and begin to fiddle on my phone.
"Hey." Jack says.
I look up, smiling gently. "Hey."
"I made soup, if you're hungry." Jack gestures to the stove where a large pot sits. "It's vegetarian."
"Thanks."
It's silent for a minute, before, "How's the event planning going?"
"Aria's a nightmare." I groan and Jack chuckles. "That bad, huh?"
"She won't let me have a say on anything. I can't even pick the right dinner napkin!"
"Women," Jack chuckles, shaking his head fondly as he continues to type on his laptop.
"Jack," I say after a moment of silence.
He looks across to me. "Yeah?"
I exhale. "You know I'll always be there for you, right?"
Jack is about to reply when I add, "And not just in a physical way. Like, I'll always be there to support you and catch you if you fall. I'll be there to kill a guy if he hurts you, that sort of thing."
Jack's eyes twinkle in amusement. "What did you and Aria talk about?"
"Nothing," I rush. "Nothing at all. I'm just saying it to be, you know, a good friend."
"A good friend." Jack echoes. "Right. Thanks Troye."
"No problem."
The apartment is quiet, the only sound coming from Jack's laptop as he types on the keyboard. Unable to help myself, I continue. "So, if you ever want to talk to me about something that's bothering you, maybe someone you like or if you're ever not feeling confident, I'll be here."
"Wow, I can't tell what you're doing because you're just being so subtle." Jack laughs.
"I mean it." I urge. "You can always talk to me."
Jack's eyes darken as they meet mine, a small smile on his lips. It was innocent and predatory all at once. "I know."
Some form of animal awakens within me then. Moving slowly off the chair, I stand and inch closer to Jack.
He doesn't notice until I'm right beside him, looking up with a, "You okay, Troye?"
"I want to blow you."
Jack chokes. "What?"
I blush. "I uh, I mean, if that's okay?"
Jack is astonished. "Where did this come from?"
My blush deepens. "You said you'd help me. I just thought-"
"Wait, what? Troye, no."
"You don't want me to?"
"It's not that, I-" Jack sighs through his teeth, running a hand through his hair. "We can't."
"We have a contract so it doesn't go too far."
"It's just-" Jack breaks off again before looking at me. "Do you know how?"
My cheeks are burning as I look away, timidly. "I mean, I've done...some stuff, just not..."
"All the way." Jack finishes. I look back to him.
Jack breathes slowly, lowering the lid of his laptop. "Are you sure?"
"I want to try." I admit awkwardly. "I haven't done this kind of thing a whole lot but, I think I remember...some things. Only if you want to though." I hurry to assure him.
Jack contemplates this, raising an eyebrow. "For teaching purposes?"
I nod. "For teaching purposes. Strictly educational."
The lid of Jack's laptop closes and he turns in his chair to face me. "Okay."
"Really?"
He nods. "Yeah."
"Great!" I say, bouncing slightly before becoming still. "Should I...? Uh,"
Jack chuckles softly, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well, um, I've never done it this way so I guess we'll just start at the beginning."
"And that is..."
"Everything we've covered so far."
"Oh." My mouth forms an 'o' shape as I realise. "Got it."
"So, um," Jack blushes, letting out a laugh to try and defuse the awkward tension. "Just, uh-"
My body moved, my rationality falling behind. Unable to fathom a reasonable explanation in my mind, I let my instincts take over. After all, this was a natural thing to do.
"Maybe we should move over to the couch." Jack breathes heavily.
With no objection from me, we move and I continue. Jack allows me to explore his body and it's not long before I'm positioned before him, questionably.
"You're doing fine, Troye." Jack reassures. "Just go with it."
I do, and Jack follows. My body reveals in the sounds Jack is making, urging me on.
It was never like this with Cam, I realise. Maybe because I was younger and needed more guidance, but something with Jack just seemed to come easily. It was like I didn't need to be told. My body moved without my understanding but I didn't stop it.
It was like this all the way until the end. Leaning back, I turn my face away as heat starts to creep up into my cheeks.
"Troye, are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Troye, look at me."
I do so, and I'm met with something I didn't expect to see.
Jack is gazing at me with something unreadable in his eyes. Affection? Fondness? I wanted to reach out and touch it, but it was gone the second I moved.
Jack clears his throat and organises himself. "That was..."
I nod. "Yeah."
"You don't need to be worried." he says. "You know what you're doing."
I'm torn in two. Part of me is in shock at the revelation that I just did that with my best friend. The other part of me burned with a feeling I was unfamiliar with. If I didn't know better, I would say it was the desire for more.
But I couldn't have that again. Not with Jack at least. I had Gabriel. Gabriel! New York! It was so much closer than I realised.
"We go to New York in two weeks." I ponder out loud, looking up at my friend with wide eyes. "I'll meet Gabriel in person."
Jack nodded and his eyes bore into mine. "If this is what you want, you'll be fine."
With that said, Jack stood up and left the room, leaving me on the floor.
I watched him retreat and when the sound of his bedroom door closing came, I whispered out loud to no one, "But what if it's not what I want?"
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