From then onwards my life starts getting even messier. Mostly in BDSM, the person who is submissive is a woman, so I start imitating her. I liked stimulating my nipples, I torture them using hairpins, clothespins, I even started slowly tying up like they do in porn. As days go by, due to my laziness I became fat and due to constant tying, I started growing moobs. At first, I feared that if any of my classmates found out about the growing moobs, it might be embarrassing and I researched for exercise to reduce them but after years later I just didn't care but was instead thought of a way to get a good shape like that of women's. Later I found this app called Kik, where there are public groups and people from all over the world can chat. Initially, I join dating groups and later I find out about BDSM ones too. At first, I used to be really careful about my privacy. I never show my face, my name is different, I just chat discreetly. I used to join the groups as a sub, but slowly I start sharing my nudes without a face for the tasks they give in groups.

For me, it felt, that I should have a Domme (Female) and have one on one chat rather than a group. So in the desperate situation, I compromised for a Dom (Male). This guy understood my kinks(that I like nipple stimulation) well and in turn, he wanted me to do what he wants, he introduces me to the world of cross-dressing. Many guys out there in kik are really desperate to CD (Cross-dresser), but I literally feel nothing when doing it. Finally, on the request of many people, I do various shits for them, like posing in weird positions, performing lewd acts, etc. I was almost like an online slut. Slowly men started flocking around me sending their dick pics. At first, I used to hate them, they were really disgusting, I even hate mine as it is tiny and ugly. But after seeing lots of them, I got used to seeing them, I even try seducing men for fun, watch them cum on live cam. Slowly I am in dilemma if I was a straight or bi. Since I have this weak feminine nature from childhood, I convince myself that I'm bi or a CD/trans(with moobs). Since I feel sympathetic for girls being in such submissive positions during sex, they are chocked, beaten, etc. I wanted to be in their position. Soon I started searching for people who want to get a BJ. Finally, I find a guy who wants me to him come as a CD.