“I am the walking dead heartbreaker…My apologies…I’m happy you’ll never understand.” -A Vampires Lament -Atreyu

I waited near the front entrance of the school. Waited and waited and waited until my feet were sore and my forehead had beats of sweat.

There was no way. There was absolutely no way I was going to ask Damien for a ride home because Lee had bailed on me again. I may have before if he hadn’t told me his stupid motive.

“You need a ride home?” Payton had repeated as we sat in the cafeteria. “Sure.”

“Why won’t you ask Damien though?” Izze pressed. “He’d love to.”

“Nah.”

“Oh, please.” Izze groaned. “You guys kissed, right? That means he’s interested in you.”

“He’s interested alright,” I agreed quietly.

“See?! You know it.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” I snapped.

“Then,” Payton joined in, “what do you mean?”

“I-” I shook my head. Nope, I couldn’t tell them. I wanted to scream every swear word and more I knew at that moment. I was violently upset.

“Just trust me. There’s nothing going on between us two.”

“Well, if that’s the truth, then plan on seeing me after school at the front of school,” Payton said, and I smiled with relief.

So, where the hell is she?

I pull out my cell phone and dial her number. Thankfully, she answers.

“Pay?”

“Oh, hey, Page,” Payton greets.

“You forgot something at school,” I respond, trying to remain cool.

“Uh,” she’s confused. “What’s that?”

“Me!” I shriek, ignoring passerby’s surprised looks.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry, Page!” Payton fumbles. “I’m just not used to giving people rides. Do you think you could make it on your own?”

I hesitate. Lee won’t take me home. She’ll make me stay and wait until she’s finished with whatever she’s up to, and I’m terrified of the thought that the longer I stay here, the likelier I’ll run into the last person I want to see.

“No, I’ll walk home.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you are a vampire and-”

“I’m also human. I’ll be fine.”

“But-”

I hang up, feeling slightly guilty for being so abrupt, but it isn’t unreasonable to feel upset for being forgotten.

I sling my school mailman bag over my shoulder, adjust my hoodie, and push one of the front doors open.

It’s going to be a long walk home.

…

The sun is kind today, a veil of clouds covering it.

As I step out of school property I remember when I first met Damien. He was pretty horrendous, but I liked the way his eyes shimmered when he was curious or cheery.

It’s hard to believe that it was all an act. If he was planning on killing me, why hadn’t he already? When he drove me home, when we were alone in the chemistry room or at my house. Even when we were in the middle of a ruthless rainstorm, not a witness in sight. These were perfect opportunities!

Was he stalling? Or was there a certain time, like a ritual, that he had to wait for?

I don’t want to know. Don’t think about it.

I pass by a white church and feel something strange stir within. It’s not disgust or sign of safety. It’s a sign of…what?

I gnaw on my lower lip, walking down unsteady stone steps behind a wall of bushes. The steps come to an end by a river and, when following the stream, will lead me home.

It’s a peaceful shortcut that will give me time to think without the distraction of honking cars.

Crack!

Invisible fingers tickle me and it feels, I don’t know, why can’t I understand my feelings?

I unwillingly turn and see nothing above, beside, or before me. Still, my instincts tell me to stay sharp, so I begin to take two steps down at a time.

Something black flies past my face, so fast that it leaves behind a gust of lashing wind. I only know one thing that can move that fast.

“D-Damien?” I croak. “Is that you?”

Nothing.

“Come on,” I chuckle uneasily. “Stop playing.”

I feel that strange wind again, behind me. I twist my head and see a man cloaked in a robe. The real Grim Reaper.

It’s just standing there and I’m just standing here, waiting. Then the reaper reaches out, a deathly pale hand appearing from the long sleeve, and pushes me. It’s gentle, practically a tap, but enough to knock me off balance.

I reach out to grab the stranger but, just as quick as he appeared, he’s gone.

I close my eyes, knowing this is it. If I don’t die from this fall, I’ll die by broken bones and burn to death.

I’d rather Darien kill me than die like this. There’s got to be a better way to die.

I mean to cry for help. But all I can do is let out a hideous shriek.

Guilt, I realize suddenly. That’s what I felt when I walked by the church. I felt guilty.

I squeeze my eyes, waiting for the inevitable, when my body crushes into something warm and steady.

“Why?” I ask as Damien sets me gently to my feet. I’m surprised I don’t just collapse.

My feet move to go grab my bag on the stairs but Damien is faster and before I can say “Thanks” he’s back.

Damien dumps my bag into my open hands and turns to leave when I shout, “Hey!”

“What?” He looks at me, super irritated, although I can’t understand why he should be mad at me.

“Um,” I hesitate. Is it a good idea to mess with a moody vampire? “I want to know why you saved me.”

Damien rakes his hair and I fight a smile; it’s so cute when he does that.

“I don’t understand the question,” he replies.

“Well,” I tap my right foot gently on the dirt ground. “You said your job was to kill me but you saved me.”

“Yeah, well, it’s my job to kill you. It doesn’t count if you slip. That would make my assignment a failure.”

“I didn’t slip. Someone pushed me,” I argue.

Damien shrugs as if he didn’t care-and he probably doesn’t. He starts to walk up the stairs when I shout, “So, what? This is it? You leave me here?”

He looks around and nods. “Guess so.”

I remember the Grim Reaper.

“Take me home,” I order, trying to sound confident.

Damien arches his eyebrows, as if amazed I had the guts to talk to him so fiercely.

“Are you sure?” his eyes glint with a speck of red. “I might kill you.”

“You would’ve done it already,” I sigh.

When we finally reach the top of the steps I see his car still purring, his driver door wide open.

“You look like you were in a hurry,” I joke.

“Yeah, well, I had to save some kid’s life.” Damien throws open the passenger door.

“If I’m a kid,” I say as I hop in, “how old does that make you?”

“Honestly?” Damien appears in his seat.

“Honestly.”

“Seventeen going on eighteen.”

“I said honestly!”

“I vampire years I’m that old,” he smiles.

“How old are you in human years?”

Damien smoothly peels his car back onto the road.

“A few centuries.”

I look out the window to hide my shocked face.

“Are you embarrassed that you’re in love with someone older than your great-grandfather?”

“No.” I glare at him. “And I don’t love you.”

“Want to listen to some music?” Damien ignores me completely.

“No,” I say, then reconsider. “Fine.”

“That’s not an answer, Fare. Yes or no.”

“Yes,” I breathe irritably. I sink down the seat, wondering how long I have left to live. Not long, probably.

I think Damien senses this because he says, darting his eyes at me for a minute, “You need to be more careful.”

“What are you talking about?”

Damien takes a deep breath and mumbles to himself.

“What?’ I push myself up. “What is it?”

Damien sits there, eyes squinting, as if he’s trying to see something far in the distance. “It’s nothing. Just be careful, okay?”

I glare at him. If he’s just going to kill me, why does it matter if I’m careful or not?

As soon as he reaches my driveway, I shove open my door, jump out and snap, “You should just kill me and get it over with.”

“Wouldn’t it be nice if it were that simple?” He retorts, slamming the passenger door in my face, leaving me utterly confused.

…

It was beyond impossible to sleep that night.

I took sleeping pills, I turned on lights, I turned them off, I played music and then I didn’t. I read. I locked the doors and all windows and yet I felt like someone was standing over me, watching me.

But whenever I had enough courage to look, no one was there.

Still…

Damien was one problem, but it was hard to take him seriously when he was taking his sweet time killing me. What did he mean ‘Wouldn’t it be that easy?’

And there’s another thing to be scared of: That…thing that pushed me down the rock stairs. It had to be a vampire. He moved so fast and carried that same ominous aura that I sensed right before Damien came into French II for introduction.

Why don’t I feel that fear around Damien? Do I actually love him?

“But he’s…” I groan and roll around in my bed. “He’s so…old!”

I’ve always preferred to date guys older, but only by at least a few years, not a few centuries.

After two and a half hours of lying paranoid, I stood, snatched a pillow, and entered my sister’s room.

“Mmmm, George?” Lee turns to me as I close the door.

“No, it’s Page,” I answer softly.

She frowns and asks what I’m doing here.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Page, you’re seventeen.” Lee sighs. “Not five. God back to your room.”

“No, Lee, I seriously can’t sleep.”

Lee groans and pats the left side of her bed.

“Fiiine. Just hurry and get on. I was having such a nice dream.”

“About George?” I crawl onto my spot.

“How did you know?”

“Just a guess.” I slither under her blankets and rest my head on my pillow.

…

Sitting on some concrete stairs outside I watch students in red shorts and white tops run, drenched in sweat, lanky and weak.

Pathetic.

I mean, Phys. Ed. Really doesn’t do anything to your health. All you do is run around or hit things. That’s basically it. It’s stupid. You get nothing out of it.

“How much longer do we have left?” I look at Coach drinking his water.

He gasps and looks at his watch.

“Forty-five minutes.” Coach glances at me and adds, “You know, Fare, it couldn’t hurt to get out there. I mean, even a little running around might help you with your grade.”

“Can’t. I have a condition.”

He frowns. “Yes, I know.”

I watch him turn and walk into the field to pull the hopeless students together.

“Hey.” Shade swallows me. I look up and see Damien.

“Hey,” I reply curtly, ignoring the leap in my heart.

He seats himself beside me and I close my eyes asking, Why me?

“Why aren’t you playing?” Damien nods to our classmates playing soccer.

“You know why.”

“Ah, right.”

I look away and stare at a tree, pretending it’s the most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen.

“Do you want to die?” The vampire asks suddenly.

I turn back to him and with a severe glare I snap, “What do you mean?”

“Do you want to die?” He repeats evenly.

“If you mean by you then yeah, no, I don’t,” I sneer. “I always believed I was a vampire and now I find out I’m some half-breed that has to die for some greater good.”

We sit in silence, letting the wind toy with our bodies.

“It’s not my fault I was born this way,” I whisper, rubbing my covered arms. “You’re lucky.”

“Lucky?” Damien repeats softly.

“Anyway.” I arch my back. “Why ask?”

“I don’t want to kill you.”

“Don’t joke.”

“I’m not joking.”

I eye him skeptically. “Why?”

“I don’t want to kill you. I have to.”

I exhale. I thought he was going to confess he liked me, therefore explaining why I’m not dead yet. But now we’re back to square one.

“We vampires pride ourselves,” Damien lectures, gazing at the sky, “for many reasons. Our special abilities and our immortal being.”

I sit there, calmly waiting.

“Once you’re killed,” he licks his delicious lips, “they’ll have a celebration.”

“A celebration for my murder?” My blood boils.

“Think of it more as a funeral.”

I stare at him, disbelieving. Hosting a party for my death? Vampires can’t be that vindictive. Even if I am a half-breed.

“It’ll be an honor,” Damien assures me. “It’s like you said, you’re dying for a greater good.”

My mouth drops. Damien is proof that vampire boys are just as dumb as human boys.

“But I’m still dying! How would you feel having no choice in whether you live or die?”

Oh. Something I say gets a reaction out of him, because I see some emotion in those gorgeous green eyes. Something fragile and upsetting.

“If you can just understand…”

“Understand how? How can I? I’m not you.” My heart twinges and I swallow.

No, don’t you dare get emotional. Not here, Page.

“I really liked you,” I choke. “But now I wish we never met.”

I hop to my feet, wanting to get as far from the cause of my distress as possible. “Unless you’re going to kill me, don’t come near me.”

…

I avoided Damien the rest of the week and the week after that. Damien knew better than to bother me. We both knew why I was doing this, unlike some people.

“You like him,” Izze assumes, “so you’re avoiding him.”

What is this, grade school?

“I don’t like him.” A lie. “And I’m not avoiding him.” A ginormous lie.

Payton eyes me with doubt but tells Izze to back off.

“Let Page do whatever she wants.”

“Thank you!” I slip off Payton’s coffee brown leather couch.

“Hey,” Izze watches me slip on my shoes and throw on my black armor, “where are you going?”

“Out.” I open the door.

“Hey, hold on Page.” Izze stands. “Page!”

“I’ll be back!” I yell back.