“Hey Aki, have I told you,” Zy said, “that I have a boyfriend?”

Aki choked on his food but forced to make it sound like a laugh. If Zy or Drew noticed, they did not show it on their faces.

“What?” Aki grinned with his eyebrows raised for best effect.

He acted like he heard the world’s best joke which was not far considering Zy was grinning as well. He acted in the hopes of convincing himself that it was not true. He acted to dull the throbbing pain in his chest.

Drew bumped Zy’s shoulder, a slight brush, barely noticeable to anyone not paying attention. But Aki concentrated on these two, making subtle movements loud and clear to him.

“Come on, be serious. Look, he already thinks you’re joking.”

Zy pouted. If Aki was not focused on keeping his heart from breaking, he would have thought that the other was cute. But the actions of these two were a lot larger than the words being said. Large enough to bring Aki’s nightmares to life.

Clearing his throat, Zy turned serious. “So yeah, like I said I already have a boyfriend… and that’s Drew.”

Aki felt like someone dumped a whole bucket of iced water on him as his body turned cold and numb from head to toe. Even his smile froze.

But at least he retained his smile. That was one thought he was pleased about.

Keep smiling. Be happy. Act happy. You are happy. You are supposed to be happy. Keep smiling. Don’t let it show to your face.

“Wow! Really?! Congrats!! I never knew that something’s going on between the two of you.”

Zy smiled sheepishly, leaning ever so slightly to Drew. “Well, things happen. But you’re our best friend so I want you to be the first person to know.”

Aki smiled. Because what else could he do more in this situation?

He watched as the two flirted in front of him. It was like watching a film where the camera zoomed on the main couple and everybody else was blurred in the background. Aki would be one of the blurred characters, a minor side-character in this love story.

His heart bled but so long as Zy was happy, then it would also be his happiness. Even if that happiness was killing him.

The two continued to talk but Aki barely heard them. He concentrated on his food and fiddled with his phone. He pretended to read a message and faked a surprise.

“Oh, right. I promised to study with Jun,” he said.

That somehow reminded his friends that he was still around.

“I’m surprised you even study,” Zy chuckled.

Aki stuck out his tongue then laughed. He bid goodbye to the two and walked hurriedly under the pretense that Jun was mad at him. When in reality, he just could not stay there any longer.

Every movement required a tremendous amount of will and effort. But he still managed to put one step in front of the other.

He walked, he jogged, he ran. Destination was the least of his concern right now. He only wanted to get away. Somewhere. Anywhere.

After going in circles for what seemed like forever, he paused and considered for a while. He thought of going back to the university. He needed to study. But he couldn't and didn’t.

He felt weary but he did not want to go home either.

With a quick turn, he changed his direction and turned somewhere else. Feeling wet damp on his cheeks, he ran as fast as he could.