September had faded into nothingness. Thorne finds that he hasn’t really been counting the days, too focused on Virgil to really be concerned about anything else. It had only been a month since he’s made Thorne’s life a living hell, but it all seemed to get worse once September melded into October and Virgil had made it clear that his sights were set on Jordan. No one else in his family really knew about it, although Thorne suspects that Ray knows a little more than he’s been letting on. He’s been quieter than usual and Thorne doesn’t really care for it.

Jordan’s noticed his change in disposition. How could he not? Thorne must’ve looked worse than he felt. Of course, he wouldn’t say that out loud, but Thorne knows he’s very much picked up on his more subdued nature. He’s gotten a lot more serious and a lot more exhausted without meaning to.

Every day, Thorne waits. He watches Virgil like a hawk, trying to stay keenly aware of where he is at all times. He has no idea when Virgil will make his move, but he intends to be ready.

He has to be for Jordan’s sake.

Because of this, Thorne hasn’t really been able to leave Jordan’s side without getting terribly anxious. His newfound clinginess was a little strange to Jordan at first but he quickly got used to it. Though, Jordan is probably too kind to tell Thorne to go away.

Today is no different than the past several days, though lately, Jordan’s been spending more time in the library and pleading with Thorne to help him with his work. Well, he didn’t exactly plead. He said that if Thorne was going to follow him around, he might as well make himself useful.

He couldn’t exactly argue with that.

So, here they are. Sitting in the far corner of the library while Jordan struggles through his extended summary of Hamlet. While Thorne is pretty sure it isn’t due until tomorrow, something tells Thorne that if Jordan doesn’t do this now, he definitely won’t do it later.

Jordan’s flipping through the pages frantically and Thorne watches him, waiting for Jordan to inevitably get a paper cut because at the speed he’s going, it’s only the natural outcome. He lets out an annoyed groan, shutting the book harshly.

“You’re thinking about it too hard,” Thorne says, going back to his own book. “Just write what comes to mind.”

“Nothing’s coming to mind!” Jordan cries. “Oh...I could really use this grade…”

“That’s what you get for waiting until the last minute. I warned you, didn’t I? You and I both know you need days to finish stuff.”

“Thorne…”

“Nope. I’m not gonna help you just because you’re whining. In fact, it makes me want to help less.”

Jordan pouts, putting his head down on the table in defeat. He looks up a Thorne through his eyelashes and Thorne, like a fool, almost looks him in the eyes.

Those green orbs were more powerful than Jordan knew.

“Please, Thorne? I-I’ll make it worth your while,” Jordan insists. “I can make you something!”

“Like what?”

“Um...pancakes? I-I finally learned how to put blueberries in them.”

“Pass.”

Jordan groans, slumping against Thorne’s chest. Throne shrugs him off with a sigh, but quickly jumps back when he sees the concerned look on Jordan’s face.

“What’s with you lately?” Jordan asks. “You’ve been like this for weeks now. How are you this close to me and ignoring me at the same time? Forget getting you to take the bait, you won’t even talk to me half the time!”

“I’m not ignoring you! I’m talking to you now, aren’t I?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, Thorne! Every time I ask you what’s going on, you act like you didn’t hear a word I said! And yet I watch you, watch you, every time Virgil enters the same room. You get defensive and irritable and I just sit there hoping you don’t throw a punch or something! Y-You don’t even act like the same person and it scares me!”

Jordan’s voice bounces off the walls of the library and Thorne hopes that there’s no one else in the room right now because this is not the place to talk about this. This felt like a terribly private conversation.

One that Thorne really doesn’t want to have.

“Excuse me, but I do believe this is a library,” Ms. Cornelia says, rounding the corner. When she sees them, she looks slightly surprised, but stern nonetheless. “Am I going to have to ask you two to leave?”

“N-No, ma’am,” Jordan murmurs, slumping back into his chair. “I’m sorry.”

With a hum, the librarian walks away quickly, leaving Thorne alone to deal with his problems.

But where would he even start?

Thorne didn’t consider the fact that his actions were weighing on Jordan like this. He hadn’t considered his feelings at all.

Thorne wasn’t so much protecting as he was causing emotional distress.

Jordan had fallen silent, and while Thorne really wants to reach out to him right now, it would be better if he did anything but that.

Talking would suffice, right?

“I’ve been...giving you mixed signals, haven’t I?”

Silence.

“I thought I was trying to protect you, but I guess I wasn’t at all. God...he just keeps crawling under my skin…”

Silence.

“Jordan, please say something. Yell at me again if it makes you feel better. I--”

“I just want you back to normal…” Jordan silently admits, sniffling. “That’s all I really want.”

Before Thorne can say a word, Jordan launches himself forward, pulling Thorne into a tight hug. Thorne wraps his arms around Jordan’s waist gingerly, wincing when he hears Jordan start to cry.

“I miss you...I miss our dumb conversations and your little smile when I say something ridiculous. I-I miss your witty comebacks and the silly banter and for the love of God, I just want to see you relax!”

Jordan pulls back a little, just enough to look Thorne in the eyes.

“You know you can tell me anything? R-Right? You don’t have to keep it all bottled up. You know I’ll listen.”

A wave of unease washes over Thorne as he bites his lip in contemplation. He can feel the words on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t say them. He couldn’t afford to. Telling Jordan his troubles would probably do more harm than good. After all, how can he tell Jordan that Virgil intended to do him harm without sounding like the jealous, insecure person that Virgil had made him out to be?

Not to mention the very real possibility that Jordan might out him out of fear. The last thing he needs is hunters showing up.

He wants to trust Jordan, but there are some things he couldn’t possibly tell him.

“You know I would tell you if I could,” Thorne admits, looking away. “I’d tell you in a heartbeat.”

“Then why can’t you?”

“Because I’m terrified of what’ll come next.”

Jordan looks at him curiously and Thorne can tell he wants to say something, but the words seem to die in his throat each time.

“I...I just need to protect you,” Thorne says. “That’s all I have to do.”

“What is it that you feel the need to protect me from? You’re starting to sound like Silk…”

“I--”

“Listen,” he interrupts. “I don’t need to be protected. I realize that there are plenty of people who think I’m ignorant and naive, but I’m not. I can take care of myself. I know right from wrong and I know who I can trust.”

“But--”

“I need you to trust me too.”

Thorne quickly looks down in shame, refusing to meet Jordan’s gaze. Just as he thought...Jordan saw right through him. He lets out a frustrated sigh, glancing up slightly to study Jordan’s face. He appeared rather melancholy,

“I...Jordan, I really am sorry. There are just things I really can’t tell you, no matter how much I want to.”

“I understand that, but I’m not gonna let you keep pushing me away. Whatever it is...I hope you can open up to me about it,” Jordan says, softly, taking Thorne’s hand into his own. He gives it a light squeeze. “I’d do anything to have you back.”

Jordan relaxes back into his own chair, releasing Thorne’s hand without another word. Thorne stares at him blankly, still feeling the warmth from Jordan’s hand.

He misses it already.

And at that moment, Thorne realizes how much he misses both of them.