I bought a dog to protect me from alien abductors.

I wasn’t really sure it would work, but I was sick of the creepy blank stares, and getting awoken in the middle of the night, and the feelings of helplessness and I thought it was worth a shot. Plus, I needed the company. My wife, Anna, had died several years ago, and my son, Bill, had been bugging me to get a pet for awhile.

The dog (a Rottweiler that I named Ripley) slept at the edge of my bed. She was a funny, playful thing, and very friendly. Bill’s kids loved her. We all did. But I wished she could’ve been more aggressive. She was a guard dog after all.

A few weeks after I’d gotten Ripley, I awoke to the sound of her barking. Ripley never barked. I was immediately worried. I sat up, and saw the alien standing at the foot of my bed.

The creature had piercing, all-black eyes, an oval head, and dark gray skin. It was only three-feet-tall, but I knew better than to try and confront it. These things had technology beyond anything humanity could fathom. I’d seen the things they could do, whenever I was trapped on their cold, sterile vessels.

These beings could travel millions of light-years in a matter of minutes, paralyze a grown man with merely a glance, and create and destroy matter. We were no match for them. I was a fool for thinking I could fight them. I just hoped they hadn’t hurt Ripley.

Then I noticed something odd. The alien was staring out my bedroom window.

I slowly crept forward, and peaked out the window, which looked out onto my backyard. Ripley was there, running around in circles, while another alien sat on her back, riding her like a horse. Ripley barked and yelped for joy. The alien seemed to be enjoying himself as well.

“They’ve been going like this for almost half an hour,” The alien in my bedroom said. It shook its head and sighed. “When’s it gonna be my turn?”

#

That night, the aliens and I came to an agreement. They could come and play with Ripley any night they wanted to, provided they didn’t wake up the neighbors. And in return, there wouldn’t be any more abductions.

Not the solution I expected, but it worked. Plus I got to keep the dog.