POV: Dillion Smiley

When people look into the mirror what do they see? Some see their reflection, others… When I look into the mirror I’m not so sure what I see anymore. I see a girl. She looks like me, she sounds like me, she seems to be me. Yet her cocky smile and mischievous eyes, those don’t feel like me anymore.

She smiles.

She is confident.

She is fierce.

Who is she?

Surely she’s not me. If she was I would march straight over to my parents and say fuck you, I’m gay. If I were gay of course. I want to ask this girl if her mouth hurts from smiling all the time because mine does. I want to ask her what makes her so fearless, why is she so sure of herself? I want her to tell me the secret, to show me how to be her again.

Because I don’t like who I am now.

Maybe I never did.

“Will you hurry up in there, I got to pee!” Trina calls from the other side of the door. Her voice makes me flinch.

“Get off my ass. I told you to go before I got in the shower, now you are going to have to wait while I stare dramatically at my reflection.”

“Dillion! Get out!”

I roll my eyes and wrap a towel around my body.

“When are you going to move out, I want the bathroom to myself,” I complain as she quickly pushes past me when I open the door.

“You know how expensive it is to live on your own? You move out.” She says just as she sits down to pee.

“Maybe I will.” I walk off towards my room.

When I open the door mom is rummaging through my closet. Again. What the hell is up with this woman? Like I would hide anything in this house if I was even hiding anything. Ugh!

“Did you find the moth that’s been eating my clothes?” I roll my eyes.

She clenches her fist.

“It was just a joke.” I turn to grab something to wear.

“What are you hiding from me!” she demands.

“For the last time, nothing! How many times do I have to say it! fuck!”

She slaps me, harder than usual.

“Don’t you talk to me like that.” She hisses.

“Then get off my ass!” I shout.

She slaps me again, so hard I stumble back.

I hold the towel tightly to my body.

“You need to learn respect.”

“Respect is a two-way street, stop coming in here and violating my privacy and treating me like a prisoner and I’ll stop treating you like the fucking warden.”

She slaps me again.

I open my mouth to say something but she quickly raises her hand. I flinch away. She smirks at my reaction. God, she’s off her rocker. Fucking crazy bitch. Why the hell does she have to pick on me? Why doesn’t she ever pick on Trina or dad?

“You are going to treat me with respect or so help me god, I will smack all the teeth out of your mouth.” She hisses.

“Whatever.” I avert my gaze.

She slaps me again.

“It’s yes Ma’am.” She says.

Fuck, don’t cry. Don’t give her the satisfaction. Suck it up. No one likes a whiny bitch.

I just stare defiantly at her.

She slaps me again.

“Say it!” she demands.

Fuck you.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“That’s what I thought.” She turns and leaves my room, slamming the door on her way out.

I hate her, I think I hate her most of all. Fuck her. Bitch. I’d like to slap that stupid look off your fake ass face. Two faced, crazy ass, bitch.

I quickly get dressed and examine my now red face in the mirror. Fuck, it might bruise. Damn her. And I am running low on foundation, shit. This better not bruise. Ugh! This is the last thing I need, people asking questions as to why my face is all swollen and bruised.

I sit on my bed and glace at my phone which was on the charger. Two new texts. One from Flynn,

‘we still on for our second date on Saturday? My dad rents out box seats to the football game if you want to come.’

One from Stormy,

‘Can’t wait to see you tomorrow, meet me in the maternity room. 😉’

I text Flynn,

‘Sounds like fun, can’t wait.’

Then I text Stormy,

‘Really? The maternity room?’

That is where moms go to breastfeed during service. Real classy.

She texts back,

‘There’s two. One by the office has a bed in it. No one will be in the office and we can just lock the door. No one will be around that area to hear us.’

I roll my eyes.

But wait, what about Rebel? She all but said that she was going to go to my church and investigate me. If she finds out the truth… shit.

‘you still there?’ Stormy text.

‘Yeah, sounds like a plan, see you then.’ I reply.

What the hell am I doing? I’m not even gay, but if Rebel sees me… Maybe she won’t even go. Maybe she’ll go to the Sunday service in which case fine by me. She’ll find nothing. But the Friday youth service…

Fuck I have to scare her away tomorrow. At school, I’ll be sure to play with her, make sure she knows I am not afraid of her. That way she will feel like she has no reason to go to the church. I need to intimidate her.

But how? So far none of my usual stuff has worked. She’s a tough nut to crack. I got rid of her friends and made her unfriendable by branding her a sexual predator and yet, she still persists me. What more can I do to this bitch?

Not to mention she’s been acting all weird ever since she saw me cry. How embarrassing, that was so not planned, she just got to me. Why is this little snitch getting to me? Ugh! How do I get under her skin? How do I make her squirm?

I’ll just have to wing it. Test anything and everything until I find something. She better be ready because tomorrow I am bringing out the inner queen.

In the morning as I feared, it bruised. Fuck. It’s not that bad, manageable, but still noticeable. Damn her. I’ll have to wear something that will detract the attention from my face. I can’t have anyone seeing.

I pull out a black dress, very similar to my iconic pink one. It is strapless and does well to extenuate my cleavage. It also goes about halfway down my thighs, making it short and primed for a little ass flashing. I am sure to wear my pink thong. Then I style my hair as usual and get to work on my makeup.

It takes me an extra 15 minutes just to get me looking like I usually do. Damn her. It’s obvious even under all the makeup that my face is swollen. Fuck. I quickly grab my purse and head out to school.

“There you are, you are almost late.” Clover walks over to me as I walk in.

“Almost, but I’m not.”

“Right, anyways, how’s your rematch going?”

“It’s uh, going. Don’t worry, I’ll put this bitch in her place. Now if you will excuse me I have to find her. I got to get something on her.” I push past Clover and into the school.

I find Rebel sitting alone in the library reading a book. She is sitting on a bench with her legs out in front of her. Her hair is draped over her shoulder and she has on a big baggy jacket. Why does she have to be so hot? Focus!

I walk over to her, she doesn’t notice me as my heels don’t clack on the carpet. The librarian is in the back, so it’s just us. Perfect.

I bend down behind her and place my hands on her shoulders,

“Whatcha reading?” I whisper in her ear.

She nearly jumps out of her seat.

I laugh.

She glares at me.

“Someone’s on edge.” I tease.

“Tsk.” She rolls her eyes at me.

I push her legs off and sit next to her. Her eyes drink me in, lingering a little too long on my cleavage. Which gives me an idea. Maybe there is an angle I still haven’t tried yet. Hmmm. A rainbow butterfly. Hello, how did I not see it, this girl is hella gay! Bingo. I can tease her a bit, lead her on, then when she thinks she has me I’ll use it to take her down. Brilliant if I do say so myself.

“It’s a nice morning isn’t it?” I say to get her attention away from my boobs and back to my eyes.

She goes red at being caught.

I smirk at her.

“Fridays are my favorite because that means it’s the weekend.” I lie, truth is I hate Fridays and the weekend. But she doesn’t know that.

“You like the weekend?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“Well, you just seem like the type of person who lives at school. Like without it you don’t really do much.”

“You don’t know me at all.” Wow, how the hell did she know that?

“Guess not…” she eyes me in confusion.

“So, what are you reading?” I purposely run my hand down her thigh to the book that was resting her lap.

Her face goes red.

This is going to be easy.

“Just a book, it’s a young adult novel about a girl who can’t be touched or she’ll kill people on accident. I like to switch it up between classical stuff and more modern stuff. I just finished rereading pride and prejudice.” She hands me the book.

Wait why is she telling me this? Why is she being friendly? Hello, can’t she tell I am trying to sabotage her? Maybe not. Which is better for me.

I glance at the cover of the book. Shatter me. There is a picture of an eye on it.

“Do you like to read?” She asks.

“No, not really,” I admit.

It’s nothing but a big waste of time. What’s the point of reading fantasy when you just have to come back down to reality?

I set the book down between us and rest my hand on top of it. She goes to grab it thinking I was handing it back to her, and her hand grabs mine. A tingle runs down my spine and my insides feel weird. We both look at each other.

I expect her to let go of my hand and recoil back as if disgusted by me, but she doesn’t. Instead, while holding my gaze, she interlocks our fingers.

Shit.

What do I do?

My heart is racing.

What was the plan again? What am I doing here? Fuck! Why is she holding my hand? What is she doing? I can’t focus! Speak! Say something, you idiot! Don’t let her turn this around on you. You have to assert your dominance over her. Show her who is in charge here!

I have to one-up her. She thinks she has me. I have to show her; it is I who has her.

Without thinking much of it, I lean in and kiss her.

Her eyes go wide and her face goes a bright red. She never lets go of my hand. I quickly pull back and I want to give her a cocky smirk, but my face forgets how to function. So I just stare at her. Fuck. Why the hell did I do that!?

The bell rings and saves me.

I quickly let go of her hand and run the hell out of there.

Shit! That was not supposed to happen. What the hell was that!? Why was she being nice to me? Fuck! The plan is ruined, why the hell did I even come up with that plan? Focus! Think straight thoughts, Dillion Smiley is not gay!

But her lips were so soft and warm and… Focus! Shit. Why is my heart racing? My insides feel all tingly. Pull it together! Don’t panic. I was just messing with her, it didn’t mean anything. She doesn’t even like me, she thinks I am a monster.

Maybe she was just messing with me…

I fell for it.

Shit.

She probably was recording the whole thing. Oh god… I am going to be sick. My heart slows and my insides feel nauseous now. I fell for it. I fell into her trap. Now she has everything she needs to take me down.

I stop in my tracks and turn back towards the library.

She is walking out, we make eye contact.

Her face is still red and she looks confused. She doesn’t look like she is about to take me down. Then again, she could just be a good actor.

We stare at each other until the hall fills up with people then we both just disappear into the crowd.