If you hadn’t noticed, I am not rather fond of myself. It is not the way I look that causes such tension. It is the fact that my mind can never settle. Because of this, I can never form a proper thought. This leaves me frustrated at myself. Why can you not just stop thinking? I mentally yell at myself most seconds of my life. I wish I could turn off this mind. I wish I could power down. But when you turn something off- when you shut something down, you risk the chance of it not starting back up. How terrible would that be? After a good hour of no thoughts, I would ask for them back, but they would never return. The voice in my head is gone. I have lost myself. No. I need my thoughts. I just wish I could control them. What a world that would be. To control your thoughts. Though, maybe that would make my thoughts less genuine. Perhaps it would alter their natural state. So here I am, alone with my thoughts, wishing they were gone, hoping they never leave. But back to you. I write this letter as an apology. I finally sought out the courage to tell you what I could not say when it mattered most.