I exhaled a long breath staring at the door. Me and my dad lived in a small box-like-house built by housing-board. Housing board houses normally means a small-single-room with attached bathroom-kitchen. But we'd settled our whole world in that space, very efficiently.

In the kitchen we had a 100-year-old gas-stove with slightly broken-burner with nearly blocked-pipes, some steel utensils and a second-hand cooker. A wall-fixed rack for plates, cups, spoons etc... Other than that we also had a second-hand mixer grinder, which I usually avoid using, as I'm not current-proof.

Our room had a 1000-year-old iron-bed with some old mattresses. I used it and my dad slept on the floor as it was a single bed. Other than a bed, the room had a half-broken wooden-table, a second-hand iron-cupboard with a blurry long-mirror and an unbalancing-foot. It usually created irritating noise when someone opens it. We had 2 more tables but were kept in the attic, shortage of space obviously.

The tiles were fine, smooth enough to walk bare-footed. All the walls were ruptured, at some places, I could see the bricks too. I could actually break those walls with my lightest punches. The roof was even worse. The ruptured plaster was visible almost everywhere and at certain areas, I could even see the iron rods.

But I quietly lived, as dad earned hardly enough to manage all the bills. So, even if I wanted to fix everything, I knew we couldn't afford.

For me, the most unbearable part of my house was the bathroom. Its condition was even worse than the walls and ceiling of the room. It was a permanent house of lizards, cockroaches, rats and several other creatures, hard to see in that dim bulb light. Normally, I'm allergic to all of them in my mind but eventually, I get used to live with them, no option. My screams by their sight, scared them away too.

It was hard to decide 'who scared whom?' Ha!

Everything could have lead us to death, in its own particular way. The unbalancing cupboard could have fallen on us, the leaking gas stove could have blasted, the weak walls and ceiling could have suppressed us. But we survived. Every night, I thanked Shiva for winning a battle and dragging one more day in that risky-box.

My most favorite place in that house was outside the house, the terrace. We lived on the second floor, so I was unable to fulfill my desire of gardening on the ground. Thus, I satisfied myself by growing certain plants in mud-pots. My planting helped us in reducing our common house-hold expenses too, as I planted bitter-gourd, chili, coriander, gourd, tomato, pumpkin etc...

Like any normal dad, he also didn't want me to go out and work. So I used to help him in this way too (one more way but that's a secret). As we were complete vegetarians so it was quite helpful too. It was a different thing that I couldn't grow any vegetables of my own liking. I'm more of a potato-liking-kind of girl. I can't imagine my food without it. But I still survived on my own grown-stuff.

After sunset, my green-garden under that bluish-grey-sky looked so appealing to the eyes. I used to spend most of my time either in front of the TV or my created-garden. It's good to be alone, good to talk to yourself. My dad used to stay out, most of the time, busy searching for better earning opportunities. So, I managed to enjoy my own company, no complaints actually.

Standing alone, having thoughts, feeling the cool-breeze under the stars were my most important tasks after the sunset. Dad used to come late, mostly after I fell asleep.

After I started having my periods, dad behaved somewhat strangely. I don't know why but he seemed worried all the time as if, he wanted to tell me something very important but unable to grab the courage to mention. As if, there was something bothering him seriously, torturing him from inside. I did interrogate him several many times but he usually ignored the topic.

One day, he called me and asked me to stay inside the house, no matter what. That wasn't his usual behavior. He also admitted that he wanted to tell me something seriously-important, which is extremely-necessary for me to know. That fired my curiosity even more. He, then apologized for hiding it for so long. I'm completely an impatient creature. So, I was eagerly waiting for him to come back home. But that night, in place of him, the news of his death arrived. He went through a major accident, leading him to death, on the spot. There was so much inside me to tell him. I'm sure he had it too....

Suddenly, a voice dragged me out of reminisce. The servants were preparing the room that's why I was waiting outside.

"Miss, your room is ready for you. Please step inside." One of the servants said.

"Thank you so much". I smiled and held the handle. I'm ready. Taking a long-breath I opened the door and my eyes fell off my face.

Tripled the size of my previous box-house! There was only one single word for everything 'perfect'. It was like the one, I could only see in my imaginations. I pinched myself again.

I don't know what, but there is something familiar, something calling to the mind.
Stop it!

To start with, there was a clean wooden shoe-rack just to the side of the entrance, a study-table with a beautiful flower-shaped lamp, a pen-holder with some cute pens, pencils along with some notebooks. I was happy to see a laptop, as after my dad died I had to sell my second-hand laptop to manage my own expenses.

O my Shiva! What's that?

This laptop had some connecting-wires, maybe it was a modem or LAN wire kind of thing. I have no idea what to do with that. I had a habit of using data-cable or dongle.

Moving forward, I saw a purple-velvet-fabric covered wooden vintage dressing-table with a wall-fixed rectangle-shaped long-mirror with golden curvy-designed border. Wow!

It had 2 chests of drawers on each side of the round dressing stole, covered with the same fabric. Drawers were also covered with that fabric paired with silver-pearl-lacquer and stainless-steel handles.

Oh I'm definitely dreaming!

I closed my eyes and took a long breath. This smell! I'm again having that same feeling, I just can't put a name to it but I seriously remember something. 
You started again. 

I stood in front of the mirror and found two brown eyes close to amber, wayward hair tied into a French-braid, long nose with a permanently-fixed round nose-ring, frowning back at me. "A dressing table for me, completely useless. Applying makeup is the second thing, I have no idea what to use where." 

I may seem old, coming from a different era but the reality is...we were hardly affording our food then how I could even dream of buying makeup products.

Like any other normal girl, I also wanted to use them. But I discovered the fact that beauty lies in the eyes of the viewer not in the layer of the cosmetics on your face. There was no way I could have afforded any of it, so I convinced myself that beauty comes from inside. No option I guess.

I took care of my body with some self-made cosmetics and makeup-products. I just love applying 'kajal' on my eyes so I used to make it using camphor, coconut oil and almond. For lips I used a recipe of beet-root-juice and coconut-oil. Used raw-milk as cleanser, rose water as toner, sandal-turmeric-paste as face-mask, sugar and lemon as exfoliating-scrub, mixture of glycerin and rose-water as body lotion, aloe-Vera gel for removing spots, toothpaste for pimples and so much more I didn't even remember. All these things were easily available in my house, so I managed to keep my skin clean using their combinations. I wanted to be beautiful in my own eyes and seeing myself with clean, smooth and soft-skin, fulfilled that purpose.

"Ok...the designer dressing-table have some cosmetics on it let's have a look."

While my brain was busy with the luxuries of the room, my heart still stuck to that one fact, "something was recognizable to it", but me and my memory had no clue about it.

Shiva! It's a hallucination, same hand-made cosmetics here, how?

Each thing had two labels on it, one with its 'name' and other with 'the ingredients'. Like the tiny metal-container filled with black-stuff was labeled with 'kajal' on the top and 'Ingredients: camphor, coconut oil and almond' on the bottom. Similarly the others were labeled with the exact same things I used to make them.

"Wow...actually impressive but equally scary."

I was searching for a wardrobe or cupboard-kind-of-thing but in place of that, I met with a small changing room. I removed the curtain and pressed my opened-mouth with both the palms.

Holy Heavens! If I'm dreaming please never wake me up. PLEASE!

A number of beautiful new clothing were hanging in front of me, cotton-dresses, silk-suits, printed-skirts, long-tops, my favorite full sleeves chudidaar-sets, stoles of every color I liked, some fashionable jackets etc.... I moved my hands on them and it wasn't disappearing, it is real.

I hadn't recovered with the nonplusing-effect of these clothes yet and my eyes caught something equally mesmerizing. The other section had some handbags collection of same variety which Mrs. Agnivanshi was carrying. In its neighborhood, an awesome collection of shoes, scandals, flip-flips, cute floppy in-room slippers, heels, tip-toes etc... was waiting for my eyes to have a look on them too.

I lost my thinking capability. No doubt I was happy but horribly surprised too. How can someone be so accurately-perfect in finding things about someone's personal-likings?

"Dangerous or weird, it's really hard to decide."

Finally, I came out of the closet, though I never wanted to. Then it was the time to have a look on the washroom, the most-important-thing to live anywhere, at least for me. I opened the gate and as expected it was as big as my whole-old-house. It was clean with refreshing-smell of lavender. Oh

I wore the footwear lying near the bathroom-gate and moved inside. The interior had a beautiful combination of purple, light-purple and white. I was unable to point out one thing that wasn't on place or missing, perfectly designed. It had a bathroom-cabinet covered with embroidered-purple-velvet, a wash-basin with holder and mixer-tap.

Ooh! Super soft hand-towel hanged on a stainless-steel-handle, similarly the bath-towel was hanged just below of it. A bathrobe hanging on the side hook, a purple-marble bath-tub with same colored bath-mate lying on the combination of white and light-purple tiles and the other side was filled by a closed-shower-cubicle.

I slide the door, it had 2 shower-heads, one over the head and other attached to a stainless-steel-pipe hanging on the side with a stand for soap-dish. I opened the bathroom-cabinet and it was covered with my all-time-desired collection of shampoos, conditioners, shower-gels, hand-washes, sanitary-pads etc... OMG! Other than those, it also had a first-aid kit, some flavored-tissues, extra-napkins etc... I...am...impressed...again.

As soon as, I came out taking a hot-water-bath in that comfortable-bath-tub, oh! It was so good. And I stopped blinking completely. The most beautiful black-&-white picture of mine, was fixed on the wall, just above that extreme-furry-fluffy rectangular bed.

Oh my goodness!

I didn't know who clicked 'that one', but I was looking amazingly-beautiful for sure. In a hurry, I forgot to take any clothes so I came out wearing the same dress. The bed perfectly went with the interior of the room. When I moved my fingers across it I couldn't stop myself from laying on it. It's so comforting, I'd be getting late for college, daily.

Although, Bhangarh is a hot place but that smooth-comforter was calling me. Along with the bed, there was a small-cute side-table covered with the same fabric, an end bed-bench on the front and 2 furry rugs on each side. There were total 7 super-spongy throw-pillows perfectly-arranged, 2 rectangular, 2 squares, 2 round shaped and a light-pink-colored heart-shaped in the middle. Aww!

When I peeked under the bed and found a baby-pink teddy looking back at me. Big, fluffy and extremely-romantic! Can it be more-magical than this? 
I hope not.

"I never wanna wake up from this Disney princess dream...please Shiva."

I once saw same teddy in a mall and wanted to have it so badly, but like everything else, it was too expensive for me. I hugged it tightly and made myself realize it was mine, at least for now. I never wanted to come out of its arms but soon something else grabbed my attention. It was hanging out there in the balcony. I didn't want to...still I put the teddy aside and moved ahead sliding the door.

I could see some dense-forest-like-scenery from that balcony. It wasn't as big as compared to other sections of this room but enough for me to 'stand and wonder'. It was fully made of wood, the fence, the floor, everything. It had nothing but a soft carpet, lying under a broad bamboo hanging-chair with some soft cushions, so I can 'sit and wonder' too, I have always dreamt that.

I sat on it and explored the beautiful sunset. Soon I was lost. I was feeling quite afraid, but the lips wore my most beautiful smile. It was like a fair-combination of my own-dreams, turned into reality. Each thing present inside the room, was either imagined or desired by me in the past 21 years of my life.

"Intimidating, isn't it!"

The sight of the sun, hiding inside those forest trees, leaving a reddish-orange sky behind, nearly stopped my thoughts for a second and it started getting dark. And it was 'the time' for me to worry about. I hated darkness from the very starting, maybe from the day of my birth itself. It scares the hell out of me.

Maybe it could be my imagination only but darkness makes me feel like someone or something is hiding in there and would attack me anytime. Seems funny right but frankly, the thought itself is enough to kill me. It's even funnier that now I'd be living in a place patented for being haunted, wow.

I was freezing just with the thoughts of spending nights alone in Bhangarh, no idea how I was going to survive, but I had to.

I came inside in the blink of an eye and made myself comfortable on the bean-bag lying on the corner. There was nothing normal in this room. Everything present in here had gone way beyond than being normal. Everything shows that these Rajputs have not only spied on me or my-premises but also peeped inside my head, which is practically not possible...at all.

I should feel threatened but I wasn't, that was even scarier.

To be continued ......

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