"That's from the movie we watched."
"It was a book first," I chided him, "And that one I know I am no longer in possession of. I lent it to someone in college and never got it back."
"What other books do you have?" he turned toward the box in my closet.
"The Giver, Anna and the King of Siam, Essays of Elia. I'm sure there are others that have escaped my memory in there."
"You've lived in this house all your life. Why are these books in a box?"
I knelt beside him and pulled a few volumes out, "Because after my parents died, I considered moving. My books were the first thing I packed."
"Why did you stay?" he looked at me.
"That is a question I don't yet have an answer for."
"Are you happy you stayed?"
"I'm not sure sometimes. I'll remember things like having to replace the busted out garage door, or my dad helping me learn to ride a bike. A mixture of good memories and painful memories. One will attach me with invisible threads while another threatens to snip them all." I gulped, "What about you? What do you think you'd feel if you never came here?"
"It's hard to say. We all built up so much hope that someday, someone would come get us. That we would be matched with someone."
My brows knit together, "It's really funny that you say that. From the customer side, they present it as if you fill out a form and they create someone for you from scratch."
"We had new guys all the time. But I can't answer to what you said, because I don't know where they came from. Some of them, though, once they were matched up, did a 180 in a matter of weeks. Different personality, different hair, carried themselves differently. I never knew what happened, and the guys would never talk about it. Then all at once they were whisked away."
I gave him an incredulous look, "And what about you? Did they have to change you like that?"
"I remember getting a different haircut, and a few injections being my first memory. I don't know what they were, and I didn't have my wits about me to think to ask. I was really numb and things were hazy at the time. It took all I had to stay conscious and move when they told me to."
I was scared to press him for anything further. His face was getting red, he was fidgety, and I could tell he was getting more uncomfortable the further back in his memory he went. I moved to put my arm around his shoulders and he flinched. I withdrew my arm and we sat quietly for a moment.
"I can tell that remembering all of that makes you uneasy. I didn't mean for you to be uncomfortable or feel scared."
"I try not to think of that memory."
I nodded, throwing my arms open wide as an invitation. He leaned into me eagerly and I wrapped him in a hug. I played with his hair, kissed the crown of his head. The floor around us was sprinkled with books. His face was pressed hard into my neck, the top of his forehead just beneath my chin.
"Angela doesn't know, does she?"
"No. All she talks about is herself. It's hard to get a word in."
"I have no idea how she thinks a lot of the time. I thought she was crazy the day she told us she was going to get you. But then I got to know you better. It's really easy to forget about the human being on the other side of things," I sighed, "And now I am grateful that she is a little nutty because it means I got to meet you."
"I know this is off topic, but I'm also bothered by you telling Jin-young that you're not my 'girlfriend.'"
I paused for a moment, gathering a thought or two. "I wasn't trying to hurt you when I said that."
"But why did you say it?"
"From where I'm sitting, that's where things are going," I laughed softly, "but I've been hurt a lot, especially in relationships that developed quickly with guys who weren't good for me. I just don't want to be in a rush, ever again."
He didn't say anything, just nodded once.
"I'm sorry, Mark."
"I'm fine with you being sorry for hurting my feelings. But I don't want you to be sorry for leveling with me about what you need," he looked at me, "I can still kiss you, right?"
I giggled, my face going red as a beet, "Yes."
He gave me a quick peck before turning his attention back to his book. He scooted behind me and pulled me into his lap. The pages fluttered as he scanned bits and pieces. "Now tell me why you don't like this book."
"I was horribly bored while I read it, if I was being honest. There was nothing in particular that had me glued to it, unwilling to put it down, or in any way eager for more. What about you?" I fingered the corner of a page.
"I think I dislike it because of my teacher, she seemed to relate to Daisy a little too much..." he trailed off. We were silent for several minutes.
"You're not referring to a teacher at the lab, are you?"
"No, they never taught this book," he let it fall to the floor, "my head hurts."
"Let's go to the kitchen and have some tea. I'll get you something for your head."
He walked briskly down the stairs and sat at my kitchen table while I fumbled around in the bathroom for some aspirin. I found it, and my phone began ringing in the other room. The caller ID showed Angela calling me.
"Hello," my heart was thudding in my throat. She knew. She had to, how couldn't she have known? She's going to scream at me. She'll to worse to Mark. I'll never see him again.
Her scratchy, tired voice answered mine, "Have you seen Henry? He might have gone for a walk since he couldn't sleep. He left me a note, and didn't take his phone. I already called Emery but she's not seen him."
"Yes, actually," my voice was shaking, "I couldn't sleep either. I was making myself a cup of tea when I saw him walking by, so I invited him to have some since it's a bit chilly out."
"How nice of you dear," her tone sounded almost sarcastic, "but it's incredibly late and you need to send him home, right now. I am relieved he's okay. He has been really restless lately."
"He's just now got his tea, I'll send him on when he's finished."
"I'll be sitting up waiting, don't be long." She hung up.
I put my phone down and plodded down to the kitchen. I switched on the electric kettle, took down two cups, and placed a box of teabags on the table. I stared at the counter until the water was finished boiling.
"Someone called?" his voice was tense.
"Angela. She knows you're not home, and has been calling around to find you. She wants you home. She's waiting," I poured the water and the tea began to steep. I handed Mark the aspirin.
"How much do you think she has found out?"
"I am not entirely sure. But I am certainly a sore spot for her because I'm still single. She doesn't see Em or Kirsten as a risk because they aren't."
"I should probably just take the aspirin really quickly with water, and go now."
I got him some water and he took his aspirin. We left the steaming tea on the table, descended the porch steps, and took steady strides down the sidewalk.
"You don't have to walk me home."
"For some reason, I want to. My brain said 'no,' but my heart said 'go'."
"Funny," he smiled.
"I hope your headache goes away. I'm hope it wasn't brought on by remembering too much. I just thought the book would help, I didn't mean to..."
"It isn't the first time I've remembered something I can't explain. One day, I know I will be able to understand."
"I think so, too." I looped my arm with his. It was foggy, creating vaporous halos around all the street lamps. I could almost feel the mist dampening my clothes. There was nothing but the crickets and our footfalls. We were getting closer and closer to Angela's house. Mark stopped abruptly at the house next door. He took in a few deep breaths, trying to mentally prepare for what he was about to face. I let go of his arm as he strode quickly toward the porch, and up the steps.
I was standing behind him just as she opened the front door. "There you are my love," she was wearing a dark purple negligee with a matching robe, "you took far too long!"
"Here I am," he said halfheartedly. She put a hand to his cheek, but he slid away from it.
"Why are you here? Henry knows his way home," she said, seeing me at the bottom of the steps. I just watched quietly as 'Henry' pushed past her into the house. "Hello? I expect you to answer me sometime today."
I snapped out of my stupor, "Oh, I know he does. You were so concerned I wanted to make sure he didn't dally."
"Please," she scoffed, "don't think I am stupid. I know what game you're playing at. Nobody would believe you innocently invited him in for tea. You're just jealous of my man, so you're trying to steal him. Well, I've got news for you, you little hussy-"
I snapped like a rubber band. "You're right. I like him, a lot. But let me tell you something everyone knows but you, because you're too dense to notice: Mark doesn't like you." I turned on one foot and walked away, Angela screaming at me until I was out of her sight. I didn't turn back once.
Comments (1)
See all