I was flipping out. I wasn’t sure what he was going to ask. I wasn’t prepared for this. We drove for about twenty minutes before he parked the car in an empty parking lot.

“Listen, I know your mom hasn’t really been a mom to you since she married into my family and I am so sorry about that. Now I want to know what you meant back at the house.”

“Uhm well uh... every once in while when the twins would pin something on me, she would uhm discipline me.” I said feeling uneasy.

“What do you mean discipline?”

“Um can I not say? She’ll be angry.” I said putting my hands between my thighs.

“Just tell me son.” He said and put his hand on my shoulder to encourage me.

“Well at first it was just a wooden spoon but then as she got angry more often, she started to hit me with a belt but um she changed it again just recently to a…. uhm…” I couldn’t continue because it was just to painful to say out loud. I looked away and stared out of the window.

“Its okay take your time.”

Tears started to fall down my cheeks and I honestly couldn’t believe I hadn’t left yet. The only reason I stayed was because I was blinded by my love for my mother who didn’t even treat me like her son anymore.

“Uhmmm… She……..recently……. bought a…….whip.” I sighed exhausted from the nightmare and everything that’s happened this morning.

“I’m so sorry. God, son I’m so sorry. I should have noticed. Let me…let me see you back.”

“N-no please no.” I stammered. I hate my scars because they just remind me that I’m an abomination. A man should be attracted to a woman not another man its just wrong. That’s what she said to me every single time. I’ve gotten to the point of not being able to touch any other man other than my step dad. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror.

“Once the sun rises, I’m going to give you money and get you an apartment because I don’t want you staying here anymore.” Hearing him say that hurts so much. I know that he just wants me to be safe but now I’m being abandoned by everyone.

“Okay” I just turned in my seat and watched the sun rise. I felt like I wasn’t even living anymore. I guess I never really felt like I was living from the very beginning. I was just blinded by the fear that my mother would leave me behind.