POV: Dillion Smiley

Finally, it's fucking Friday. Usually, I hate Friday's but this one is an exception. With the shitty week I've had I just want it to be over already. I glance down at my phone.

'Can't wait to see you today 😉' Stormy's text haunts me.

I know I am just a piece of meat to her, but still part of me wonders if we could ever be something more. If maybe she would like to take me on a date or back to her place for once. I mean seriously doing it at church is less than ideal. But I guess beggars can't be choosers.

Fuck I feel like shit. I have been feeling like shit a lot recently. It's all stupid Rebel's fault. She got in my head, she messed with me. Well, fuck her, who needs her. Not like I actually wanted to be her friend, Ha! She wishes. I don't need her approval. I don't need her help. There is nothing wrong with me. I don't care what she says.

Today's the big pep rally. The one before our football team takes on our rival school. Everyone always dresses up in school colors and has war paint on their face. The teachers decorate their doors and the band comes marching through the halls leading the way to the gymnasium. I am almost blinded by all the blue and yellow colors as I enter the school.

I just take a heavy breath before walking to the cafeteria. As usual, people clear out of my path and cower in my presence. As they should. I sit at my usual table, but then everyone sitting there including Flynn and his boys, and some of my smiley alliance get up and leaves. So now I sit at an empty table.

Whatever, like I give a shit...

I pull out my phone and scroll through social media.

'whore'

'Devil's wife'

'Shoot yourself'

'just die already'

'You're not even that pretty'

'I hope your mom gets cancer'

'You are so dumb!!!'

'Stupid ugly ass cunt'

'Let me catch you outside, I'll kill you bitch'

I just stare numbly at all the comments on my latest profile picture update. They go on and on, and on. I just keep scrolling and scrolling, I swear the whole town must have commented on here.

I jolt back into reality when someone sits directly in front of me. My eyes lock with Rebel. I glare at her.

"What part of leave me alone freak doesn't click in your brain?" I ask.

"Just shut up and listen. I'm trying to help you."

This bitch really doesn't get it.

"For the last time, I don't need your help!" I get up.

"Dillion just listen to me!"

"Go fuck yourself dike." I walk off.

"Dillion!"

I roll my eyes.

"Hey Rebel, buddy old pal." I hear Cricket say.

I turn and see him and his goons hanging all over her.

"Get off me." she pushes him.

"Don't be like that." Thomas pinches her cheek.

She looks to me for help.

"Hey, Smiley! Don't forget to smile for us!" Flynn calls to me.

"Let me go! Asshole!" Rebel struggles in vain.

I roll my eyes and walk away from them.

I walk to my locker and on it is a picture of a headstone with my name on it. In red marker is written, Just wait for it. I glance around the hall but there is no one in sight. I rip the image off and crumble it up before throwing it in the trash.

The bell rings and I walk off to class. The day drags on as normal until finally, the pep rally comes. We all get up and leave our last class and follow the band to the gym. When I walk in the doors Rebel once again runs up to me.

"For fuck's sake, what do I have to do, get a restraining order?" I snap at her.

"Just shut up and listen to me." she pulls me off to the side.

"No, you listen. What you did was fucked up, beyond fucked up. I may be fucked up but at least I would never do what you did. You know I almost fell for your little act too. Well, guess what, playtime is over. You ever look at me again, talk to me again, you ever so much as breath around me, I'm coming for you. I don't need your help, I never needed your help you know why because there is nothing wrong with me! If anything, you are the one who needs help you fucking sociopath. Now get out of my way or so help me god I will do something neither of us wants." I push past her.

I quickly sit in the front row just so Rebel can't try and confront me again. Fuck her. Asshole. What makes her think she's better than me? That she has the right to tell me how to live my life? That she has what it takes to be my hero? Fuck her. She's as fucked up as everyone else, no one is worthy enough to be a hero.

Even though I just told her off, she comes and sits right next to me.

"Are you fucking kidding right now?" I turn to her.

"What's about to happen, I'm so sorry okay. I never wanted this to happen. I tried everything to stop it, I swear."

"What are you talking about?"

Just then the band stops playing and the principal walks up to say some things.

"Clover and the others, they ambushed me." Rebel whispers.

"Alright, who's ready for some football!" The principal cheers.

The crowd roars loudly.

"Ambushed you?" I eye her.

"In the library."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it. Let me get out of the way and let Flynn the football captain take it away." He stepped aside.

"Why would they ambush you?"

"For the video! They got the video." She quickly spits out.

"How's everyone doing today?" Flynn asked.

Everyone cheered.

I felt my entire body go numb.

"I tried to stop them, I really did. I tried to warn you. They took my phone." she shows me her shattered phone.

Her eyes are watered over and she is hyperventilating.

"Awesome! Well, we have a treat for you, from me and the boys to get everyone fired up. Please direct your attention to the screen." Flynn says.

"Dillion run, get out of here. Go!" she pushes me.

I can't help but stare at the screen as the video begins to play out of me and Stormy having sex. It's like the world around me goes silent and I watch as the thing I tried my hardest to deny and cover-up is broadcast for everyone to see. Something strange happens inside of me. I don't feel afraid or angry, I just feel... free.

Like a giant weight is finally off my shoulders. A dam inside of me has finally broken and I can no longer deny who I truly am inside. I feel like for the first time in all of my life I can finally breathe. Everything feels like it is in slow motion, someone opened up the closet and shoved me out into the sun. Now everyone knows, now everyone can see me for who I really am. The only thing going through my head is,

Finally.

Then I blink and the real world has returned. The entire gym is silent. My skin feels all tingly and prickly. My lips are numb. My ears ring and for some reason, the room begins to spin.

"Dillion! Come on." Rebel shakes me.

She forces me to stand up and drags me out of the gym just as everything erupts into chaos. I hear people laughing and shouting and my name flying around like it's a fucking football. I stumble out into the daylight outside. I nearly fall over. My chest feels tight and I can't breathe.

"Hey, look at me. breathe, breathe! It's okay. You can get through this." Rebel grabs my face and forces me to focus on hers.

I try to say something but only ragged breaths come out.

"Hey, look at me. I am your lifeline. Come back to me. It's okay. You're okay." She assures me.

I grab her shoulders to steady myself. Only then do I notice how hard I am shaking, only because she is as sturdy as a rock. I feel light-headed like I could pass out any minute.

More people burst out of the gym to check on us. I see the principal and some teachers. Rebel's friends and Miranda Pickles. Clover and Alaska come out too. The world spins and I fall. For a moment everything goes black.

"Dillion, dillion!" Rebel calls.

"Everyone back up, give her some air!" I hear the principal shout.

"Holy shit," Clover says.

"Should we call an ambulance?" A teacher asks.

I shoot up.

"Whoa, easy." A teacher holds me in place.

"I think she's having a panic attack." Rebel says.

"I'm fine." I finally force out.

Everyone goes silent as I stand to my feet.

"You should lay down." The nurse says.

"I'm fine." I stumble forward and walk towards my car.

"Dillion wait." Rebel quickly chases after me.

"I'm fine," I repeat.

"No you're not fine, let me take you home. You can't drive."

I wave her off and walk to my car.

I reach into my purse for keys. My hand is shaking so badly I drop them twice before finally getting the door open.

"I'm not letting you drive." Rebel holds me back.

"I... I don't need..." fuck I forgot what I was going to say.

"Look at me, you need to sit down." She says.

I push her away and sit in the driver's seat. Sitting does help keep the world from spinning so much. I take a few deep breaths before I feel like I have myself under some type of control.

"Damn it, Dillion, just listen to me."

I start the car.

The heater blowing in my face helps me regain some type of feeling in it. I grab the steering wheel tightly before taking a few more breaths. Then I look at Rebel.

"I'm fine. I need to go home. I have to do this. You have to let me do this. I just want to get it over with all at once. Please. I can do this." I assure her.

"I'm so sorry. I never wanted this to happen. I should have deleted that video, I should have done something. I am so sorry." She whimpers.

"Don't be. I'm just glad it's all finally over." I take a shaky breath.

"You need anything you call me. I don't care about what you said before. I'm here for you no matter what happens. I'll be your lifeline. You can trust me. I promise I just want to help you." tears streaked down her cheeks.

"Thank you, for everything. I'm sorry I've been a bitch to you."

"I know you were just scared and hurt. But you don't have to be anymore. I promise."

I nod and look at the door. She takes a step back and lets me shut it. then I pull out of the parking lot and drive home. Both of my parent's cars are in the driveway. For a moment I just sit in my car. Then I take a deep breath and get out. I walk over to the front door and step inside. I don't even make it five feet in when my mom comes flying at me. She slaps me so hard I fall down to the ground.

"I knew you were hiding something from me! You disgusting whore!" she spat.

"Being gay is a sin, how dare you partake in that at church." My dad picked me up by my shoulder and forced me to stand.

My mom only slapped me down again.

"You are sickening. How many times has it happened! Answer me!" she screams.

I struggle to my feet and stand to face her.

"I'm Gay," I say to her face.

She pushes me back into our glass case that has all our family photos in it. Most of them are of me at church camp. The whole thing falls on me and shatters.

"You are not gay, that is a lie of the devil. A sin. Do not confess that." She hissed.

I struggle to get up, again my dad picks me up by my shoulder. I have cuts on my arms and back. Glass all in my hair. I feel blood trickling down my neck.

"Being Gay is who I am. I like girls. I will always like girls, I have always liked girls. If being gay is a sin, then why did God make me this way?" tears stream down my face.

She slaps me again.

"God did not make you like this, you choose to sin. You choose to be like this. How many times has it happened, how many Dillion?"

"Three times." I whimper.

"You are not our daughter. Our daughter would never be gay." My dad said with tears in his eyes.

"Then I guess I'm not your daughter," I say.

"Give us your phone and keys." Mom demanded.

So I did.

"Now get the hell out of our house. And don't you ever come back." She actually spat in my face.

I flinched back before wiping her spit away and turning to leave. I stumbled out the door and off the front porch. I heard my parents slam the door behind me. I flinched at the sound. I walked all the way to the end of the street before I just stood there.

I have nowhere to go, no one likes me. I have no friends. I have no one.

I glanced down at my arm where a shard of glass stuck out. Blood dripped down my arm, on my clothes, and to the floor. The only thing I had was the clothes on my back and now they are covered in blood.

So I just walked.

No destination in mind.

I just walked.