"Once more into the breach my friends," states before throwing himself into the unknown...or in more modern linguistical terms, "YOLO." This is a tale of a man pushed to the brink, but standing upon most certain doom he thinks back to nearly one year prior, to the day. On that day he lost the greatest battle of his life, but on this day he swore he would come out on top the winner.

But to truly appreciate the gravitas of this upcoming tale, we must first start with the heartbreaking conflict that started it all.

I wish I could say that part 1 is going to be funny, but it isn't. This is going to be a hard read because I know as my readers you probably care about my well being, heck anyone's well being. And this first part is with no exaggeration, emotional abuse. When I say it was constant...I do mean constant.

To set the stage for you, I had been with Ms. R for two and a half years. I loved her deeply. Far deeper than I have loved another person in this life to date and she will always hold a place in my heart. It was that deep and ever present love that allowed her to get away with the agredious and unceasing emotional abuse she leveled at me on a daily basis. Here is an unadulterated list of abuses I endured while I was with her:

1. she threatened to break up with me weekly, for two years. This creates a sense of constant nervousness and tension. I walked on eggshells constantly trying to avoid losing her. She equated her likelihood of this happening to being a Sim from the game The Sims. If the meter got low, she'd break up with me. Or, she'd get mad at me.

2. I was responsible for all of the chores. If she did do the chores I had to celebrate her help. Of course, she always reminded me of the times she had helped and that I was ungrateful.

3. Week long silent treatments where she refused to even acknowledge my existence. I desperately just wanted the woman I loved back and over the course of the last 2 years out of two and a half years of our relationship, I barely ever got that from her.

4. She would punctuate these silent treatments with sudden bouts of extreme anger. You see, she rarely yelled...but it was the way she talked. Like she was yelling...screaming at me...but in the quietest of tones. Every ounce of pain she had felt from the abuses of her childhood was thrown into my face in the hushed tones she used.

5. When she started to spiral downhill there was nothing I could say to reverse it. No apology I made, no act of love, nothing... In her mind, she had to make sure I felt her pain in every way so that I could fully understand the reason why she needed to abuse me. If there was a fight, I was the problem. I was in the wrong. I needed to change "or else."There was no accountability. No apologies. Ever. I can legitimately count on one hand the number of apologies I received.

5. If she wasn't verbally abusing me, she'd send strings of texts or emails that were paragraphs long. How I was failing her, how I was a horrible boyfriend, how I could do nothing right, and how I needed to shape up or she'd leave me.

6. And then the one time I got the courage to move out...she went full victim mode on me. This was my kryptonite. I reverted to white knight mode to be there for her. Things got "better" for a little while, but as with all things in life it only lasted long enough for her to get what she wanted. Then, it all went right back the way it was before.

7. I was always wrong. There was no world where I had a valid point, no matter the subject. This last one may sound like it isn't as bad, but it was the worst of all. It hits your self-esteem, makes you start doubting yourself, and your reality begins to warp where the other person is always right and so you need to listen to them.

8. She shamed me constantly for my profession. She constantly asked (told) me to quit my job or she'd leave me. I worked nights, so it is understandable, but I made solid enough money that it paid the bills and I had a choice, not pay bills and risk losing my place to live or leave. I was smart enough to keep my job, but it was always at a price.

These caused my reality to warp in a weird screwed up way where nothing made sense. I didn't trust myself or my intuition and the only thing that mattered was her happiness and approval. Without it, I was worthless. Friends and family warned me, tried to shake me out of it, but her hooks were in deep and I didn't trust myself enough to get out. I fell into a pit of self-blame and depression. Passion for work, passion for life, passion for my writing evaporated. Everything became about her. Every moment of every day was a fight to keep her happy and it never worked.

My abuse ended when I sat down, took her hand in my own, told her how much I cared about her and that I loved her. Then I said the following words. "Stop abusing me." She left me 3 days later.

It was this string of unrelenting and constant abuse that spurred me to learn every in and every out of romance and dating, so I would never let this happen to me ever again, ever.

But you are not reading this book to hear me tell a tale of woe. Nay my friends, what you are about to read is a story of one of the greatest comebacks of Swipe Right history.

Join me next time for the start of our journey, the break-up and the start to our tale that will end in an A-Team level moment.

Your relationship advice for the day:

Abusers that use up a victim will eventually drop a victim, drop them first.

If you think or have a friend who you think is in a situation like this, check the links below so that you can help yourself or your friend.

Part 2 begins next Wendesday. I look forward to hearing from you then.