I wake up to the crowing of a rooster outside. I wake up, feeling sleepy at first, and I almost go back to sleep before the events of last night come back to me. I jump awake and stumble out of the bed, grabbing my stiff and dirty dress from its place and put it on.

I look like a mess, I know I do, but I don’t have anything, there’s nothing I can do. So, looking like a Western homeless man I decide to head downstairs.

To be honest with you I’m not really sure what my plan is, or what I’m going to do. I just know what I was told to do. Get to the North, and let the commander know she needs to prepare for a war. As my bare feet pad down the steps I hear the bustling of the common room.

The smell of biscuits, and gravy, tea and bacon all waft up to my nose, and my mouth begins to water until I see the person waiting for me at the bottom of the steps.

“Seems you’re awake,” Tyra says crossing her arms, but she doesn’t look defensive she looks… “You want to come take a seat?” She uses her thumb to gesture behind her.

I don’t know why, but my mouth is dry now, and I’ve got that sinking feeling in my stomach. I’ve got that feeling inside like I already know what she’s going to say.

I follow her to the table, and I realize what the patrons are so busy talking about.

“Did you hear? The Steele farm was burned to the ground, house an all.”

“What about the family?”

“Dunno, buncha charred bodies at the scene though. Has to be them.”

I realize I’m starring at them as they talk. Tyra touches my arm and I jump at the touch. That’s funny, I don’t… I don’t know why I just did that. I pull my hands to the chest and take another look around the room.

What was I doing here again? Huh, that’s weird… You know those biscuits smell good. Bet it would be great with the bacon and-

“Abigale.” Tyra says firmly and I blink, and again.

“Huh?”

“Your family Abigale,” Tyra swallows, “they’re gone. I got word this morning, that some travelers on the highway saw the smoke. They stopped by and saw… they saw the ashes. Of everything and… everyone.”

“How… Uh, how many?” I ask, my mind having trouble focusing on anything. It’s like every thought is on the tip of my tongue but I just can’t think it. “How many bodies did they find?”

“Three?” Tyra’s brow furrows, “there were three, I believe.”

“Should have been four,” I say tapping at the table with my fingernail. “Should have been four bodies.”

“Lass, there wasn’t nothing you could have done, I know it’s painful, but you can’t think like that.”

“No, I’m saying there should have been four bodies,” I reply, “The ranger, you remember? The one from the North. He said he’d save them.”

“You also said he was wounded…” Tyra says almost pleadingly.

“What if they’re-?”

“They’re not, lass, they’re not.” She says and her eyes are glistening. I continue scratching at the table with my nail. Huh, it’s hardwood, oak maybe? The craftsmanship is really… “Abigale.”

I look up again, almost startled, I don’t really know why I can’t think straight, why my stomach decided to feel better. It’s weird isn’t it? You’d think now I’d be sick right? Hey Abigale, your family’s dead, you should feel bad.

Do I feel bad?

Of course, I do, when people die you’re supposed to feel bad. That’s what you do, that’s how I’m feeling. Yes. I feel bad.

“Come on, let’s take you back to your room,” Tyra says standing up and walking over to put her hand on my shoulder. My mind is a couple seconds behind and I sit there, staring at where she had been until I do a delayed recoil at her touch.

“Yeah, okay.”

Before I know it the door shuts and I’m in my room. Tyra said something about uh… something about… Fayr, what did she say… something about bringing me some food in a bit.

I sit down on the edge of my bed, it’s weird. Is this what people feel like when they lose everything? It’s a strangely empty feeling.

I remember when my dad and I were in town, doing some errands and we saw a lady get the news that her husband had died in the mines. She fell to her knees weeping and sobbing and getting snot everywhere.

I feel this… feeling, coming up from my stomach.

You wanna know what’s funny? While I was taking a nice relaxing bath, my sister was burning alive. I was in the water she was in the flame. Now that I'm thinking about it I’m probably the worst person Hastings could have asked to deliver his message.

I go on a quest, I’m running from bandits, and my family’s dying behind me, so what do I do? I take a nice warm bath of course. Can’t cross the country without my skin being nice and smelling of lavender.

That feeling begins to wrap around my chest, and my breath catches. That’s strange, my… my breath it…

Mom. My breathing gets fast as that feeling begins to wrap around my heart. I can feel it squeezing, and I’m… fayr.

Dad I’m so sorry I didn’t feed the horses. I’m so sorry.

I hear the drops hit my stale dress before I know they’re running down my face. I should have… I should have fed the horses. I should have gone to the house when it started raining.

A strange noise comes out of my throat, like a hiccup and a cough at the same time. I swallow hard but I do it again.

And that’s when I realize they’re gone.