Everyone’s silent and I notice Ryu looking at me intently as he walks to his desk. I remember he was watching me like that yesterday too, eyes full of anger, but without exactly showing it. I don’t know what kind of face I was making, but I’m sure Ryu was watching someone with a fearful expression. Now that I know that Santiago and Ryu are more than friends, the hope I was harboring about being liked back has been snatched away, leaving me with a great feeling of emptiness. Every breath that I take hurts like a fresh open wound.

We’re all quiet for a few seconds—which feels like an eternity to me—until the teacher finally snaps out of his shock and starts with History class.

I don’t speak to Santiago the entire day; he’s busy with Ryu. He’s in charge of showing him around school during breaks. The girls from our class—and others that come to snoop around—walk everywhere with Ryu and Santiago, it’s like a procession with a lot of followers. I see Maria trying to break Ryu and Santiago apart, stepping in between both of them and I whisper a few cheering words, “C’mon, Maria! You can do it!”

Julio sees me watching and comes to my side.

“What’s wrong, Max? You’re a bit pale. I’m worried.” As soon as he says this, I have the urge to tell him everything I’m feeling for Santiago—for a boy. Ever since we were kids, Julio’s been a good friend to me. I feel a bit guilty for not telling him, but at the same time, I don’t know how he’s going to look at me once I do. Is he going to keep his distance? I try to put that doubt away and decide to trust in our years of friendship. “Nothing will change, nothing will change,” I repeat in my head.

I ask Julio to step outside for a while because there are a lot of gossips in the classroom. We sit in the bleachers, on the football field. I make sure there’s no one around that can hear us and I tell him.

Julio’s eyes open wide with surprise. Then, he looks down but lifts one eyebrow. After that he stares at me and starts laughing, patting my back.

“Why are you laughing, Julio? I’m being serious,” I say as he keeps on laughing out loud. I don’t know what’s so funny.