The morning brings one more day of healing. Thankfully, because of the attention Ash had given my wound, I am able to lift myself and walk a bit wobbly around our shelter. I am persistent in wanting to head off. It is dangerous to stay in one place, especially since the Fang pack is out there looking for me. Nightfang says it’s too soon and wants to pamper me more than he already has. I don’t want to be spoiled. I want to head off to find my pack. They might not be looking for me, but I am still eager to find them.

“Howling King or Bloodbeast is bound to find us if we stay here any longer.” I say as I pace slowly back and forth. “We must leave now.” Nightfang rolls around in the dirt before he lifts himself up and shakes his body.

“Stay calm, Love.” Nightfang says as he nuzzles my face. I look at him curiously, baffled by the newness of the affectionate name. He suddenly realizes why I’m so surprised and coughs nervously. “Sorry, I…”

“No…it’s okay…it’s nice.” I say with a smile. He smiles back and lifts his rump in the air playfully. I roll my eyes and snicker a bit.

“Come on, just this once. Play with me?” He asks pleadingly with a whine. I smirk and mimic his posture, my rump in the air, my body close to the ground. He smiles and excitedly bounces back and forth as I paw at him before we hear something in the distance. Our ears perk up and we look towards the sound.

“What was that?” I ask as I growl.

“I don’t know, I can go scout the area.” Nightfang suggests before a dark gray form and a brown form attack him and pin him down with growls. I am surprised by the attack, but also shocked by the familiarity of the two forms.

“Fierceclaw? Sweetsong?” I ask incredulously.

“I knew it was you!” Sweetsong says as she approaches me and licks my face and nuzzles me gently. She clings to me lovingly and I feel uncomfortable by her touch and her affections.

I truly am graced; I think to myself as I back away from her.

“We’ve been looking all over for you.” Fierceclaw says as he keeps his paw on Nightfang’s face. “Is this the wolf who kidnapped you?” He asks as he growls at Nightfang. I approach him and push Fierceclaw off of my mate. I growl at Fierceclaw, which I have never done and help Nightfang up and nudge him with my nose gently. I turn to look sternly at Fierceclaw before beginning to think of how to explain all of this.

“Oh, these are the friends you were talking about.” Nightfang says as he shakes off the feeling of getting pounced on.

“Yes, and this is the wolf who saved me from the fire.” I introduce Nightfang. I look at him softly and wonder if it is appropriate to proclaim our relationship. Nightfang seems to give me a gentle look as if telling me that it is my choice. I look to my paws and breathe deeply. “He is my mate.”

Fierceclaw and Sweetsong look to each other and Nightfang seems to fidget excitedly in his place before he nudges me slightly as if thanking me.

“What?” Fierceclaw asks with a baffled expression.

“I knew it.” Sweetsong says bitterly. “You’ve been flawed since you were born!”

“Sweetsong.” Fierceclaw says with a growl.

“You knew it too, don’t lie.” Sweetsong says bitterly.

“Both of you, please.” I say in irritation.

“No, how could you?” Sweetsong says loudly. “We search high and low for you and you’re here mating with a male wolf? Have you no shame?!”

“Enough!” I say with a growl as I assert my alpha status, standing tall as if looming over Sweetsong. It hurts my leg a bit, but it’s the only way to get a word in edgewise. “I have done nothing wrong. I was saved by him. I have gotten to know him. I feel things for him I have never felt for someone else so strongly. How is any of that wrong?!”

Fierceclaw quickly intervenes, coming between Sweetsong and I before I do something I might regret or say something I do not mean. Sweetsong begins to cry before she runs off into the brush. Fierceclaw sighs and looks to me with a stern expression before he sighs.

“You…who are you?” Fierceclaw turns his attention to Nightfang. I worry his name might strike fear and prejudice once he says it. I allow Nightfang to choose whether to speak his real name or his alias.

“Nightfang, the son of Blackfang, former member of the Fang pack.” He says proudly. “I am a loner and am no longer affiliated with the Fang pack.” He looks at me and smiles. “I am in love with your alpha…”

“Blackfang’s son?” He asks with shock evident in his expression.

“Look, that’s not important, where is my mother?”

“She and the rest of our pack are at Lovers Pass.” Fierceclaw says promptly. “Snow, are you sure you—”

“I have sexual urges for Nightfang, is that enough to prove to you?” I ask a bit aggressively. Nightfang notices this comment and wags his tail.

“You do?” Nightfang asks.

“Not now, Nightfang.” I say with a bit of irritation evident in my voice.

“Right,” He says with a laugh, “listen Fierceclaw, I have sworn my love, loyalty, and life to Snowheart. I am not an enemy, though it may take time for me to prove it to you, I am ready to take that journey.”

“So formal now in the presence of my pack?”

“Oh, you know me, I aim to impress.” Nightfang says with a grin.

“Snow, can we talk?” Fierceclaw asks sternly. “In private?”

“Surely.” I say as I tell Nightfang to wait for me. We head into the brush and Fierceclaw quickly pushes me against a tree.

“Are you insane?!” He whispers loudly.

“In this situation, you seem a bit crazy.” I say as I push him off of me. “Being aggressive with the alpha is bold and unwise.”

“When the alpha has lost his mind, I think it’s appropriate. Need I remind you the story of Blackfang?”

“Nightfang is nothing like his father. He is kind, loving, a bit mischievous, yes, but brave and capable. He is my mate now, whether that is acceptable or not to you or our pack, I do not care.” I say as I turn to leave.

“Snowheart.” Fierceclaw says sternly. “You cannot doom our pack like this.”

“Doom our pack?” I ask angrily. “I am who I am. If it ‘dooms’ our pack as you say, then I do not have a pack to return to.” Fierceclaw’s eyes become wide with worry before he sighs.

“It is not because of what you are, Snow. It is who Nightfang is, what his past represents…” Fierceclaw says softly.

“He is a menace.” Sweetsong interrupts as she returns. “He is cursed.”

“You being flawed is not a problem to me.” Fierceclaw admits. “Some of us…”

“Do not tell him such things!” Sweetsong says with a growl. “It isn’t right. You are supposed to mate with a female. That is all.”

“Shut up, Sweetsong. Let me tell him.” Fierceclaw says angrily. “Within our pack there have been some who have mated with the same sex.” He admits softly. “I have…done so as well…” My eyes widen as he admits these things which have never been spoken to me and which very well might be forbidden to speak of at all. “It isn’t something that happens often, just something that happens at times once in a blue moon. We get restless, sometimes the other wolves don’t want to mate and…” He pauses and becomes more nervous. “It isn’t something we are proud of and it’s not something we ever talk about. It is different than being flawed.”

“How is that different?” I ask curiously. My temper subsides a bit.

“We mate with each other out of sexual frustration rather than for selecting a mate for life because we have feelings for them.” Fierceclaw admits. “Perhaps, you are the same?”

“No, I am graced.” I say proudly. The uncertainty I had felt before about this matter had disappeared and I felt confident that I was graced. I didn’t want to be with Nightfang for matters of only sex. I desired his touch, his warmth, his company, his love. My mother had said such desires before about her and my father. They were a pair for matters of not only duty, but of love as well.

I remember my father well. He was stern when he needed to be, but he was a doting father. Unimaginable playful and kind with an understanding side. He was a capable alpha and a wonderful partner for my mother. He was gentle with her and beautifully loving. He never beat her or threw harsh words at her. They argued at times over trial things, yes, but they never were violent. I had often hoped that I would one day form such a bond with someone else, though my interest in such things had all but disappeared when I grew older and became alpha very suddenly.

Now, Nightfang has stirred my long childhood desire for a love like my parents’ and his sense of adventure parallels my own. I can see us wandering this world together happily, perhaps garnering our own pack members along the way with the same inclinations as us and the same dream.

“Graced?” Sweetsong alerts me back to our conversation and looks at me with such animosity that I can’t seem to fathom what would possess someone to look so horridly at another. “Is that what he calls it?”

“Yes, Nightfang has taught me many things. One of them being that we are not all perfect, but we deserve this right of life and happiness just as much as anyone, regardless of the things other deem as ‘flawed.’ I am not going back to the pack if this is the treatment he and I will receive.” I say as I turn my back on them so I can return to Nightfang.

“Just listen to what you are saying, Snow.” Fierceclaw says a bit aggressively. “You are leaving your family for a wolf you do not entirely know. If it is males you desire, then we have males. We will not say a word of it to anyone. Just come home.”

“I have no home and no family to return to.” I say bitterly. Sweetsong gets in front of me with a stance I notice as one used to pronounce a fight. I growl and tell her to move.

“No, we are not returning to the pack without you.” She says assertively.

“Sweetsong…” Fierceclaw says dejectedly. “If he doesn’t want to come with us, we can’t force him.”

“We’ll drag him home, fly him home on a predator bird, anything. We’re taking you home.” Sweetsong says loudly.

“I think it’d be best to keep him here.” Nightfang interrupts as he walks through the brush. “He’s been wounded by a man’s gun.”

“A gun?!” Fierceclaw asks as he looks at me carefully to try to notice the afflicted area.

“I’m fine.” I say softly.

“You hang around this mongrel and you get shot at?” Sweetsong says as she looks sternly at Nightfang and growls.

“Your pack really likes that word, huh?” Nightfang says as he backs away a bit from Sweetsong. Although she is small, she is very aggressively violent when tempered. “Look, he needs his rest. Let him stay here. We can follow you back to this journey to your pack tomorrow.” Fierceclaw pushes Sweetsong to the side and they talk amongst themselves. Or should I say argue? They do not include us in their talk and Nightfang gets a bit restless as he nudges me slightly and looks at me with a look so loving and sweet that I am a bit at a loss for what to do. I lick his face and whimper a bit before my friends notice our moment. I clear my throat and look away from them.

“We will travel altogether tomorrow.” Fierceclaw announces as if it is law. “We will not cause a fuss, we will not argue, we will not force anyone to do anything. Sweetsong and I will go and hunt something while you rest.” I can tell Sweetsong isn’t at all satisfied with the conditions. I sigh as I begin to realize that this is going to be more of a headache than I had first anticipated.