This can not be happening. This is not happening. 

This is really happening.

 A one night stand is what I was not supposed to do, this is why I did not want to go out last night, this is why I kept saying no over and over. I knew what I was going to end up doing.

This...guy, I don’t even know him. I didn’t want to know him and now he is texting me. I don't understand how he got my number, I never give my one night stands my number because I never intend on seeing them after that.

This is just great. Damn alcohol, I knew better.

I knew what not to do, but did I care? No, no I didn't. I was getting what I wanted and now look, I made a big mistake.

I can’t stay in my house all day, I still got to live my life normally. Staying in here doesn't sound like a bad idea though, I could avoid any type of confrontation.

Damn it, I can't just stay in here because of him. Ashton lives just a few doors down so there is that possibility of seeing him, which would be my kind of luck. 

I don't know why I am making this a bigger deal than what it is I can simply ignore him like I do everyone else. I got dressed, grabbed my things and took a deep breath before walking out of my room.

Here goes nothing. My original plan was to speed walk as fast as I could to assure that I would not have any type of encounters. And what do you know? I ran into a whole entire one.

“Oh hey Ari.” Damn the way he says my name, this is how he got me last time. The way it rolls off of his tongue does everything right to me. Wait no, don't talk like that Ari!

“Ashton.” I said as I looked away from the blonde man.

“Everything okay?” He said as he tried to grab my chin to face him. I don’t want him touching me.

I pulled my face away from and took a step back. “Yeah I’m alright. Just in a hurry, see you later.” I said as quick as I could so that I could get away from him.

It’s not that he isn’t attractive or anything, it’s just not what I want. I don’t want someone to depend on me and I don’t want someone that I have to give my time to. I only want to focus on myself and there isn’t a thing wrong with that either.

I just want to focus on myself. Is that too much to ask for?

“You can not just focus on yourself Ari! You can’t do him like that!” This is why I shouldn’t have told Jacely about Ashton, I knew she would be on his side the entire time.

I met up with her to have some lunch together and I am already regretting this.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen Jace, not like that at least.”

“Do you even know what happened? Cause from what you said you blacked out so how do you know you two slept together?” Well I guess she does have a point there. But it doesn’t matter

“Even if we didn’t other things must have happened. I mean look at all of these marks, he literally left his mark on me.” She couldn’t help herself but to smile at the sight.

“I think you should grow up. You need someone in your life, male or female I don’t care. It doesn’t hurt to have someone on your side Ari. That’s why I am glad I have Lydia, I’m so happy with her and it’s just nice knowing I have her to go to about anything.” Am I in the wrong for not wanting someone?

“Maybe one day, but today is not that day.” Jacely rolled her eyes and threw her napkin at me.

“You are stubborn Ari! It’s  seriously time to grow up some, you can't keep living this way. You are always pushing people away and one day it is going to bite you in the ass and there won't be a damn thing you will be able to do about it." Well jeesh, she didn't have to bring me down.

"I'm just not ready right now, I don't need anyone."

"Well maybe they need you Ari."

Jacelys words were stuck with me all day. Was I being childish for not wanting something like that? I think it’s probably for the best that I do talk to him to at least know what happened between us.

That and so I can clarify things with him.

As far as I know we did have sex, at least the way his text made it seem we did.

That is all I want to do though is just talk. Get things straight with him and let him know I am off limits.

“Well hello stranger.” I didn’t even realize I was home. I had been so lost in my thoughts that I didn't see that home was right here in front of me. And there was Ashton about to go inside of his place just as I was walking by.

What a combination.

“Oh uh, hey Ashton.” I said as I rubbed my neck.

“It’s just Ash. How are you doing?” I could tell he was nervous. I could hear it in his voice.

“Yeah I’m good. Could we actually talk though?” I wanted to skip all this small talk, I just wanted to get straight to the point with him.

“Of course. You wanna come in?” I nodded and followed him into his place. He sat down on the couch so I did the same thing.

Well this is awkward to say the least.

“Ari—

“What happened between us last night Ashton?” I looked at him and he actually seemed quite confused.

“You don’t remember anything?”

“I remember the shot and a little bit of the dance floor and that’s it.” Ashton shifted in his seat before taking a deep breath.

“We went back to your place together. There was a lot of kissing involved and so much rubbing.” His cheeks began turning red, and there was a sly smirk forming as well. “I haven’t felt that good in a long time Ari.” He was looking me dead in the eyes.

What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I mean look at this guy!

“The message you sent me this morning. Did we...have sex?” I have to know. No, I need to know.

“Almost.” What does that even mean!?

“What do you mean almost? Like what happened?” I didn’t even realize it but I was unbelievably close to him.

“We just didn’t, as much as I wanted to should I say, we didn’t. You were so gone that it wouldn’t feel right...I would want you to remember what I was going to do to you.” The lust in his eyes was enough to make me lose it.

I’m not here to have sex with him, I’m not even here to become his friend. But damn the look on his face and those words he is speaking is everything I need right now. 

He can't give me that look and think I won't do anything about it.

“What makes you think you were gonna be top Ashton?” If he wants this I’ll play the game. That’s all this is gonna be to me, is just a simple game where I can get my fix.

Get everything that I need plus more.

“I don’t mind being bottom at all Ari, I just assumed by the way you were acting last night you wanted me to take control.” I could feel myself grow in my pants. I can’t stay here much longer, I don’t want him thinking I came here for a fuck. If anything, I want him to beg for me.

Ashton started getting closer to my face apparently wanting a kiss, so I slowly started doing the same thing. We were only inches apart, almost touching. But I’m not giving him what he wants. Right when he was going to make contact I stood up.

“Ari?” I grabbed my jacket and smirked at the blonde.

“I must go Ashton. It was a pleasure talking to you, I’ll walk myself out.” And I did.

As I walked in my door I could feel my phone going off, it can’t be him already texting me can it? I pulled my phone out of my pocket to see that it was, in fact him texting me.

‘You don’t gotta be a tease. Just makes me want you more.’

Not for long, sweet little Ashton.

You have no idea what you are getting yourself into at all.

It’s been about two weeks since Ashton and I have had that conversation, and since we have seen each other. I’ve been texting him but that’s it. He wants to see me something terrible but I just keep saying no, I’ll decide when and if I want to.

I am in control of this situation. And he has yet to beg so I have yet to let him have what he wants. There has been a few times where I almost gave in to him and let him come over but that would just defeat the purpose of all of this.

"So how are things going Ari?" Jacely asked me as she took a bite of her food. I had invited her and Lydia over for a dinner, mostly to help me focus on something else besides Ashton.

"Great, work is splendid. I'm happily alone and I have you guys here. Can't complain." Of course that sentence was pretty sarcastic and she could tell. She narrowed her eyes at me and scoffed.

"First of all, quit lying. Second of all, that is not what I am talking about and you know it. How is Ashton?" Jacely hasn't asked about him for a while.

"Oh yeah! You mean that hottie from the club that night? The one that you were practically fucking on the floor?" Wow, thanks Lydia.

"You seen that?" I murmured to the dark haired girl.

"At first no. It was Parker who had noticed, he was preeettty upset with you to say the least." Just the sound of his name makes me want to throw up.

"Fuck Parker."

"Anyways! Back to the cutie who almost got your booty. So what happened did you guys talk or what?" Jacely kills me the way she says things.

"Kind of. I haven't seen him since we did talk last, I want to keep it that way. Before you get mad we do text pretty often so shut your mouth." Jacely was about to say something but stopped.

"It's a start I guess. Just don't go playing games for your own pleasure Ari!" She knows me all too well.

Little does she know I have already started doing that. If Ashton isn't gonna beg for me, I guess I'll just have to make him do it myself. Which will be a lot more fun anyways.

'Are you busy?' Almost as soon as I sent that text, Ashton sent me something back. Someone seems quite eager.

'Not at all. I am free all night.' Perfect.

'I have some friends over, once they leave come over.' I didn't ask him if he wanted to, he needs to know that I need him here.

"Are you texting him now?" Lydia asked me as she took a sip.

"Mind your own." This is between me and my little pet.