Assessments came and went, and Hugo was proud at the good scores he had on them. For once in his life, he hadn’t been stressed about an assessment. He found it easy, simple, which came as a surprise to him, but he wasn’t going to complain. Of all things not to make him anxious, it was his course. Maybe that was a sign that he was on the right track.

Renee, on the other hand, had been a whole different matter. She'd done a practice test and blanked on most of the questions the night before the test and begged Hugo to come to her apartment to help her out. Trying to teach her everything through sign language was hard, he couldn't find the right words for everything, but they'd eventually gotten there.

Stefan had cooked the food. He was an amazing cook, better than Hugo had expected. He hadn't been able to help Renee that much, but he brought bowls of pasta and glasses of water regularly. Unlike Hugo, Stefan was probably used to Renee stressing, he seemed to know exactly what to do.

He helped her as much as he could but when he looked at her during the test, she'd been panicking. Her face was covered with a thin sheen of sweat and she kept running her hand through the short crop of hair on her head. She'd told Hugo she wanted to shave it again that morning, but still hadn't done it by the time results came out.

"Damn, you did well," Renee said as she came up behind him. She grinned at him, nothing out of the ordinary. "I went about as well as expected." A pass, and a good one at that. Nothing to be disappointed about, but he could see it in her eyes.

"Is it not good?" he asked her, eyebrows crinkled in confusion.

She shrugged. "I'm used to higher scores," she said, and Hugo resisted rolling his eyes. "I just stress out a lot, you know?"

"I noticed," Hugo replied, a grin on his face. She punched him lightly in the arm and smiled at him. At least she'd done well. He remembered a lot of people in high school would stress out and then bomb their exams. He probably would have done that too if he'd cared enough to do them properly.

"I'll be right back," Renee said. "I'm busting for the loo." Hugo waved her away and watched her go with an amused smile.

Something caught his eye in the minutes he waited for her to come back: a flyer stuck to the notice board just outside the classroom. He frowned at it and moved closer so he could read the words printed in rainbow colours.

A gay/straight alliance club. He'd completely forgotten they existed. He knew of some schools that had them, but his high school hadn't had one for some reason. If he'd cared enough, he might have tried to start one, but it was too late now.

The flyer told him that a woman named Rose ran the group once a week on Wednesdays. He didn't work until late that night. He frowned at the thought. Was he considering going? It wasn't as though he could, none of them would understand sign language. It would be too hard for him to talk to them all properly.

And who knew how many people would be there. If he thought the dinner was too much, then there wasn’t much hope for him to be able to handle a GSA. But there was a part of him that wanted to at least give it a go. It would be something new. If he couldn't handle it, he could just leave. It was no big deal. But he didn't want another panic attack.

His mind was still at war with itself when his lecturer came up next to him. He jumped back, startled and she held up her hands. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," she said in a soft voice. "You're Hugo Garland, yes?"

He nodded, biting his lip on confusion. His lecturer never really spoke face to face with any of the students, let alone him, a mute boy. Maybe something had gone wrong with his test. Had his score been wrong? Had he done worse than he thought? His teeth chewed on his bottom lip painfully, but he couldn’t stop.

"It's not anything bad, you don't need to worry," his lecturer said, laughter in her voice. "You did really well. I was coming to tell you that the university has got some opportunities coming up with writing and editing. I don't know the details yet, but if you're interested, I'd be glad to pass on the info when I get it."

Hugo floundered for a minute. It wasn't what he'd expected her to say, but there was a soft feeling of excitement swirling within him. As long as he didn't have to talk, then it would be fine. It was just writing and editing. The most talking with that was done over email. He nodded to her and smiled. "That would be nice," he signed before he could think about it.

His lecturer frowned at him and that was when he remembered that not everyone knew sign language. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were deaf. I don't know any sign language," she said, looking genuinely apologetic. Hugo shook his head and pointed to his throat. "Oh, oh! Okay, not deaf, right. Do you have someone to translate?"

Renee, but she wasn't there just yet. She was still in the toilet. He held up a finger to tell her to wait and pointed in the direction of the toilets. She seemed to understand. Renee came back not two minutes later, a confused frown on her face. Hugo explained everything as quickly as he could and she gave him a surprised nod.

"He says he'd be more than happy to hear from you. If you have a pen, he can write down his email," Renee translated. The lecturer handed him a pen and a tiny piece of paper and smiled when he handed it back, his email jotted down in his neat handwriting.

"Thank you so much, Hugo. A few of them are workshops, but I'm sure no one would mind if you brought your translator along," she said and waved goodbye to them. She disappeared back into the lecture hall and left Renee and Hugo to stand alone outside it.

Renee huffed out a laugh. "I don't even think she realised I was actually one of her students," she said.

"Well, she does have a lot of them," Hugo replied with a shrug. He was still trying to wrap his head around what had just happened. What kind of things did his teacher want him to do? And then there was the GSA. He was still trying to figure out if that was something he wanted to do. Now he had two things to figure out, both of which including more people than he wanted to deal with.

"I suppose," Renee replied. She seemed normal, but there was a look in her eyes, something akin to jealousy. "How about we get something to eat and I drop you off at work?"

He nodded and thanked her. She was too good for him. If he asked, she probably would come to the writing workshops or whatever they were with him. Maybe she would even go to the GSA too. He didn't know how she felt about things like that. He hadn't told her he was gay, but maybe he wouldn't have to, maybe it was obvious. He hoped it was. Coming out last time had almost been too much for him.

Like most days, they went for a late lunch at the cafe she'd taken him to the first time they met. It was never busy, something he was grateful for. The quiet gave him a chance to think. He didn't know what he was going to do. There was a part of him that begged to go to the GSA because he'd always wanted to try it, but it would be impossible. His lack of speech and the anxiety held him back.

The people there probably wouldn't even like him even if they could understand him. He was too much effort to talk to. He wasn't interesting in any way. He liked computers and editing, neither of which were particularly entertaining to talk about. They might even want him to explain why he was mute, but he couldn’t do that. It hurt too much to talk about.

"Are you alright?" Renee asked as they ate. It was then that he realised she hadn't said anything to him since they sat down. Usually, the conversation came naturally, but not that day.

He nodded. "Just thinking," he replied. "My mind won't shut up."

She smiled at him, small and toothless, full of understanding. "I'll come with you to these workshops if you want to go," she offered. "It's the least I can do. I don't think there'll be too many of them though. A lot of the events and stuff are online nowadays and not everyone has a decent microphone. You wouldn't be the only one not speaking."

Somehow, that relieved a little of the anxiety welling within him. It wasn't the workshops he was worried about. Renee would be there with him for those. He didn't have to speak if he didn't want to. But at a GSA, there was no doubt they would ask him to speak at least once. he could picture it. They'd ask him a question, he'd stumble to get his hands to work and they'd turn away in boredom.

He wanted to move his hands, to ask Renee to come with him if decided to go, but when he finally lifted them, all he said was "Thanks." He sighed at himself, but that was the answer to his question. He wouldn't go to the GSA, he couldn't go. It would be too much for him.

When they were finally done. Renee took him to her car, and he tried to ignore the awful feeling in his stomach. He could handle it. Years he had been dealing with it, it almost didn't matter to him anymore. But on bad days, it was the worst feeling in the world. Today was almost a bad day. There had been no nightmares, but his feelings were slowly getting the better of him.

Renee pulled up in front of the computer repair store sometime later. "I want to come in and see where you work," she announced, her usual toothy grin plastered on her face.

Hugo froze for a second. Would Robert be alright with that? He wasn't sure. "I don't know if my boss will be okay with that, but I guess it's worth a shot," he replied and smiled back at her. She followed him from the car to the door, looking through the shop window with curiosity.

Robert waved to him as he came in and frowned at the short woman that followed him. "Hi, Hugo," he said. "Who's this?"

"This is my friend, Renee," he signed to the old man. "Renee, this is my boss, Robert." The pair shook hands with polite smiles and nods of their heads.

"It's nice to meet you, Renee," Robert said and glanced at Hugo out of the corner of his eye. "Hugo didn't mention he had any friends."

Renee glared at him jokingly and Hugo shrunk back a little. He hadn't expected her to want to come in, so he never mentioned her. What would be the point? "It's a pretty new development," Renee said with a laugh. "I just wanted to see where he worked before I headed off. He never really tells me about it."

Robert planted a hand on Hugo's shoulder. "Hugo's the best repairman I've ever worked with," he said.

"I'm the only repairman you've ever worked with," Hugo replied, rolling his eyes in amusement. Robert shrugged in response.

Renee checked the time on her phone and cursed. "Well, it was nice to meet you, Robert, but I have to get going. I've got a job to do myself," she said. She didn't get many shifts, but Renee worked at a bookstore not far from her apartment.

"Yes, it was lovely to meet you," Robert replied. "I hope I see more of you soon."

Hugo waved as she left and tried to ignore the heat that spread through his cheeks when Robert stared at him. "Anything for me to do tonight?" he asked as Renee's car pulled out of the parking lot.

"Yes, you can tell me how many other friends you've got tucked away at uni," Robert answered. There was a joking tone to his voice, but Hugo knew the words were serious.

He thought for a moment, debating his answer. "Just one more," he replied, thinking back to the conversation he'd had outside the restaurant the other day. "His name is Stefan."