Read sleepless :: Fighting sleep

I knew this would be a hard night the moment I felt the despair pooling down my stomach, that didn't stop me from laying on the ground of the bathroom and stay there crying, if anything, it anything, it made it worse, because I knew if I decide to go to bed, it would be worst, lying and trying to sleep has a terrible tendency to make me think a lot, and without a distraction, it can go to dangerous paths.

It is always a scary journey to go through, every single time, not knowing what to do, or how to stop, not trusting myself to sleep because I am scared that I will hurt myself if it goes too far, so on everyone of those nights I reject sleep in order to not do something I can't go back on.

Insomnia is nothing new to me, I've been dealing with it for a long time, but it has only now turned into an issue that big, I wish I could explain, could make others understand why it's just impossible to sleep, wish I was able to talk to people about my problems without turning it into a mess of choking words out

Tomorrow will be another day...

Well, not really, it's 3:30 A.M