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I told Damon goodnight and went straight to bed. I was too tired to shower or to put anything away. There was one thing I had to before I fell asleep and that was find my phone. Not that anyone would have actually texted me within the past two days where I was MIA.

I turned it on and entered my password. Ah of course I had messages just not from my family because they long ago abandoned me because of my “mental disease”. No these messages were what I called “Love/Hate messages” Because technically they were hate messages but I always changed the lettering in my head and made them love messages.

“You should go die!” Was one message I read but I changed it so that it said ‘Support you!’.

“You need mental health!” Was another and I changed it yet again to ‘there’s nothing wrong with being gay!’

Oh and my personal favorite. “You little faggot piece of shit should go and throw yourself off a cliff!” but to me it said, ‘ You wonderful human being you should go sightseeing, there are some really beautiful places that need exploring!’

I don’t know why I change them its probably my minds way of trying to encourage me about my sexuality even though I sometimes hated it. At least I except and embrace it instead of some people who just lie to themselves all their lives.

After reading the twenty some messages I decided I would finally let sleep overtake me because I almost couldn’t keep my eyes open. I also decided it was time for bed when I dropped my phone on my face for the fourth time within the past seven minutes.

I closed my eyes and relaxed. I waited for the darkness to take me and it did but not to a place I wanted to go.