Chapter 3: Radish Market

[Lord's bedroom]

Lord: Morning already? The air is so... what... Sola? Black hair? No, you are Lily. Why are you wearing Sola's dress, and more importantly, why are you lying on top of me?

Lily: Her dress smells like meadow in broad daylight with a slight hint of lemon. Do you want to smell it?

Lord: You are not answering my question, are you?

Lily, shoving herself onto the lord's face: Smell it.

Sola, wearing a kind of towel that looks like it is made from some sort of plant, walks into the room.

Sola: Could you give me back my dress, Lily? Please don't get it from me when I take a bath. We maidens only have one dress, as it is like a part of our body.

Lily: Ok.....ok. I was just having some fun.

Sola: I'm sorry, my lord, that you have to see me in such an unpleasant condition.

Lord: It's OK, Sola. Please do not worry about it.

Lord thinks: [I don't mind at all, Sola. Do it again tomorrow]

[A while later]

Sola, back in her usual dress: Queen of Rose has just sent us this week of fund.

Sola drops a big bag full of gold coins onto the bed.

Lord: Wow! Isn't that too much? There are like almost 5,000 gold coins in there.

Sola: Normally they are kept in our royal treasury, but since now you are awake from your long slumber. So I guess I might give it to you directly for a change.

Wevil: Wow! These coins are so beautiful. May I have some, my lord?

Lord: Is it OK if I....

Sola: Do you want me to chant those boring rhymes again, am I right? [giggle]

Lord: Nope, I always forgot. Thank you, Sola, for everything. Here, Wevil, I give you 500 coins. It's yours now, so you can use it however you want. Have fun.

Iris, waking up: Where would she use it? There are only maidens and trents here. Wevil, I'm saying this again one more time. You are not allowed to go outside the castle's ground alone. You have zero capability to defend yourself and you don't know how bad some human can be, let alone other wild creature like orcs and goblins that might just kill you for fun. Am I right, my lord?

Lord: Ditto. Do exactly as Iris said. This is your lord's command.

Wevil nods.

Iris: I'm sorry I have to play the role of a strict and dominating mother, but I did that for our sisters. Deep inside I am a gentle and obedient housewife type of girl like Violet.

Lord: .....

Sola: By the way, Iris, the table is ready.

Iris: What table?

Sola: From Trent3

Iris: What Trent3?

Sola: Never mind.

Sola: Wevil, congratulation you got a large sum of gift from our lord. Now let go get Almond real fast. Tell her it's a top priority. I have a strong hunch that we might be talking about economy for a while. Almond is our accountant and treasurer, my lord.

Violet: About how much can a gold coin buy? I think it's more valuable if we use it in human villages, right?

Sola: Absolutely, most trents do not know its value. One gold coin can buy basic grade of human food for a few months I guess. If you want to buy something less valuable, you have to exchange it into silver coins or copper coins. The lord must have known these kinds of stuff very well since he is a human. I didn't expect anyone else would bother me by asking this question. My throat is dry ......mumble....mumble....

Violet: Sorry, Sola. I don't go out often.

Sola, sighing in relief: Almond is here. So she can relieve me of my usual duty of explaining things.

Almond is dragging in a really long big sack of gold coins.

Lord: What the f...?

Almond: This is all gold coins from our royal treasury, my lord. Do you need me to bring silver co...

Lord: No, please keep them where they are. And you are quite strong, aren't you?

Almond: Most maidens can drag this sack of gold coins with ease, my lord. My strength is just average. In fact, I am pretty average in everything. [giggle]

Iris, in a highly feminine voice: She is so strong, my lord. I can never drag heavy things like that.

Almond: Wha..? Yesterday I saw you...

Iris: Shut up.

Almond: My lord, I thought you might need it for some purpose, or at least check it. Do you want me to drag it back?

Lord: Yes, after we finish our discussion.

Lord: First question. Where does Queen of Rose get these coins from? Taxing those trents? Trents use money now?

Almond: The short answer is white radish.

After several seconds of silence.

Lord: That's too short, Almond.

Almond: Queen of Rose always regards this castle as your main residence, my lord. So she send most of the income here to keep it in our royal vault. Our kingdom gets revenue from several sources. You might be surprised that we have a lot of valuable things that can be sold. You have tasted Grapefruit, right? Her oversized grape can be sold for 10 gold coins each. Rich humans pay handsomely for the highest grade of food.

Lord: Hey, Wevil, stop eating those grapes, will you? Keep them for sale. It's like you eat away 1 gold coin each bite.

Almond: Our trents can grow various kind of herbs from its own body at no cost. A few of these can cure various life threatening conditions and are worth more than 10 gold coins a leaf.

Lord: Damn.

Almond: Ruin exploration is also another good source of income. Even though it's a dangerous task, some rare and useful items can be sold for more than 1,000 gold coins apiece.

Lord: Damn it! Who knows how expensive the device we broke yesterday. One shouldn't point an expensive item at an old woman, wait, she doesn't even look that old.

Almond: However, the most important source of our income is the sale of those white radishes. You can imagine our level of radish production output from the gigantic size of the yggdrasil tree. In a day the tree produces enough radishes to fill every space in this castle 10 times over.

Almond: Now there are more radishes than we can sell and the price per unit is dropping significantly, but from sheer sale volume alone, we are much richer than before. I'm sure you know that they are very delicious. Human regard our radish a premium grade of food, therefore they are quite valuable. The radish themselves refuse to serve human though, so we sell them as food only.

Lord: What? They are edible? I thought they are sentient beings. Isn't this a kind of vegetable cruelty? Should I call PETA?

Iris: Sentient or not sentient, your old self ate them like snack.

Violet: Don't worry, my lord. Even though your new self has a much gentler personality, I can assure that you are the same person. Want to touch my heart again to confirm that? [giggle]

Iris: What did I miss? There is a heart touching activi...

Lord: Please forget about it and get back to our financial talk.

Almond: In addition, there isn't much expenditure either, other than wage paid to those engineer goblins and a few other things, we don't have to pay anything at all to our workforce.

Iris: Basically your kingdom has almost ten thousand slaves that require no food, clothing, housing, medical care, entertainment, nothing at all, and a cash crop that can grow, walk and sell themselves in the market, all of these by their own and at no cost, then the remaining unsold goods bring back the entire proceeds from the sale to you.

Iris: After that, the unsold goods, instead of rotting or devaluating in its value, will continue to grow and will be available for sale the next day. You also have trents as heavy machinery, who is free and does not require personnel or fuel to operate, and no need of repair. In a month its seeds will automatically grow into 10 more of the same free machinery.

Iris: Moreover, all levels of your personnel require zero compensation, and give you all valuables they might come across in their life from time to time. How could you not get rich?

Lord: Thank you both of you. I get a totally clear picture of it, but I think my most precious assets are you maidens.

Almond is blushing a little.

Iris: Then be gentle with me to night, all right?

Lord: Let distribute these gold coins to all maidens who want it, up to 1,000 coins per person. Think of it as a long-due payment for their salary, and if possible, everyone keeps like 30 coins with yourself all the time. Who knows one day we might need it on the field, because money is one of the most valuable asset for most human. As saying goes, money can buy everything.

Lord: Almond, tell Peony that I allow her to use up to half of what is in the treasury for anything she wishes. Perhaps she might have a nice idea of any construction project that requires human money, and also tell Queen of Rose to keep like 30% of what she usually sent for her own construction and anything she fancies using it on.

Wevil: Wow, that's the most awesome command I have ever heard.

Lily: I haven't done a single work since I got here. Do I get them too?

Lord: Oh, I forgot. Your dresses are made of your own petals, right? Do they have pocket to carry coins?

Iris: Yes, my dress has pockets. Do you want to take a closer inspection of anything else inside my dress?

Wevil: Wow, everyone is so rich now. It's shopping time.

Lord: Did you see a shopping mall around here?

Violet: What is a shopping mall?

Lord: Uh.. never mind.

Iris: Actually we can do some shopping in a nearby human village.

Violet: I haven't been to a human village.

Iris: Other than our lord, how many humans have you seen, violet.

Violet: I don't remember I have seen any. T_T

Sola: The nearest human village is 12 hours away by human walking speed. I think one reason that the old self of our lord chose this place because it is quite far from any human. I will get some fast beast-of-burden kind of trent for the lord to ride on and we will be able to get there in 3 hours. If we start now, we.....

Wevil: YES! The lord has made his decision. Everyone let go.

Lord: Hey, I haven't said anything. But yes, let go.

[Southeast area of the castle]

Lord: Wow. This 10 meter-high trent is pretty awesome. What about their fighting power?

Sola: This one is not a war type, so less than 2. The best ones of the war type are almost 6.

Lord: Doesn't that mean you can kick their ass pretty easily.

Sola: Yes, but fighting like 10 of them at once might be quite troublesome.

Lord thinks: [I'd better never piss these girls, or my life might be in serious danger someday.]

Lord: How far is it again, Lady Sola?

Sola: It's about 3 hours of giant trent's walk to the east, my lord, but how does lady come out all of a sudden?

Wevil: Let do a head check. Lord, Sola, Wevil, Violet, Almond, Ruby, Astille. Hmm...Lily not coming again. So, it's 13 people. On our way back we can check with this number to ensure that no one is left behind. The most important trick in doing this is that you must not forget to count yourself.

Iris: .....

Astille is silently walking with Ruby down below.

Ruby: It's OK we can walk, my lord.

Sola: Yes, we shouldn't bring more giant trents as only this one is more than enough to panic the whole village.

Lord: Ruby, a lively innocent young girl with red flower theme, sporting a cute bang and a braid. Her hair is dark brown with red sheen. Her braid starts from the back of her head but she loves to bring its tail to the front of her body, showing an elegant single red flower attached to the end of the braid. She is very close to Iris and adores Iris as her big sis. For this reason, she should have always been seen with Iris all the time, but she has never appeared with Iris in the story up to this point because even so many scenes has passed, there wasn't really a good chance to put her in.

Iris: What was that all about? Whom are you talking to?

Lord: Don't mind me. Let just say that I have a habit of talking to myself.

Lord: Astille, a very small girl that looks like she is 7 if she was a human, with pale blonde hair, wearing a dress of weird white and red pattern. All strands of her hair end into the top of her head like a bun, but a big white reddish flower is there where the bun should have been. She has an appearance of aloof daughter from a rich and powerful aristocratic family. The way she wa.....

Iris: Are you done yet? Is it fun or what?

Lord: ....

Iris: My lord, please let me hold you tightly. The trent is so tall, I might die if I fall below.

Lord thinks: [Pretty sure she would get only a bruise even if the trent stomps her with all its might]

[Mid way to the village]

Lord: It's almost two hour already. Sorry Ruby and Astille, I feel a bit guilty sitting over here, you all must be tired]

Ruby: Guilty of what, my lord, and why should I be tired?

Sola, whispering: The lord's stamina is about 100 times lower than us, Ruby, so he thinks....

Lord: Hey, hey, I heard that.

Lord: Anyway, my back is a little stiff. Just rest here for a while.

Everyone stops. The lord, Iris and Wevil jump down from the trent's shoulder.

Wevil: Hey, trent. Give some of your berries to our lord.

The trent picks a few bunch of berries from its own body and hands them out to the lord with a friendly smile.

Wevil: Enjoy the fresh berries directly from its source, then drink the best syrup in the world after that, my lord.

Lord: Here are some berries for you, little white reddish one.

Astille does not respond.

Violet: She is just shy, my lord.

Astille emits cold aura.

Lord: ...

The trent picks out more berries and hands them to the lord politely.