A couple of days into the semester break, Hugo spent another night at Renee and Stefan's apartment. They were celebrating him getting a place on campus. Alcohol was buried somewhere in their fridge, ready for whenever they wanted to start drinking, which would be whenever Renee and Stefan finished cooking.

The pair of friends argued constantly in a joking tone while Hugo sat on the couch and watched them. He had no idea what they were cooking, but he was happy just to watch them mess about as they did. He now understood why their kitchen was always was such a mess. Stefan flicked a noodle at Renee and scoffed. The noodle completely missed and landed on the bench with a faint splat. Hugo itched to clean it, but it wasn't his place. Messes always aggravated him.

It was meant to be stir fry and somehow, after everything it went through while Renee and Stefan cooked, it still looked and tasted like it. Hugo didn't know which of them was the better cook, but anything they made tasted amazing. Stefan pulled the drinks from the fridge, some weird Swedish cider that Hugo liked more than he probably should.

"So, when are you going to move in?" Renee asked with a mouth full of food. She swallowed and repeated her question when Stefan elbowed her in the ribs.

"I don't know yet," Hugo answered. "I'm thinking the week before classes go back."

"We could help you," Stefan suggested. "My dad has a truck. I'm sure he'd let me borrow it so we could move your furniture."

"I don't have much furniture. It's all my dads' stuff," Hugo replied. "But that would be good, thank you." There was no way he was going to be able to move everything on his own. He had no idea what he was doing.

The trio ate in silence after that, the only noise coming from the television, which was blasting a show Hugo hadn't seen before. Renee stood when she was finished and took the bowl from him. All she did was dump them on the bench and he knew the dishes probably weren't going to get done that night, but he wasn't going to say anything about it, despite how much it annoyed him.

"So, are you coming to Stefan's party next week?" she asked from the kitchen, an expectant smile on her face.

Even though there had been plenty of time to figure it out, he still wasn't sure if it was a good idea. Obviously, Renee and Stefan could see it in his face. Stefan rested a hand on his arm and Hugo almost pulled it away. He could hide the blush and the tingling feeling in his stomach. The room was warm, if either of them asked, that would be his excuse.

"There's going to be plenty of people there who know sign language, you don't need to worry about people not being able to talk to you," Stefan said. There were times Hugo forgot that he was deaf. But it was the number of people that made Hugo the most nervous, not being mute.

He looked at Stefan's face, at the hopeful expression in his wide eyes and the subtle tilt of his mouth and he knew he was too far gone. "Yeah, I'll come," he told him. If he had to, he'd go outside and take a break for a bit, or he'd leave. He doubted Stefan would mind if he had to go home early.

He ignored the butterflies that fluttered in his stomach when Stefan smiled at him. He was trying to make it go away, but he was sure that every time he saw the man it would get worse. There was no helping it anymore. He'll just have to deal with it until it eventually went away, which he sincerely hoped it did. It would be far too awkward to have a crush on someone who considered him a friend.

"You will? That's great!" Stefan said, a wide toothy grin on his face. Renee said something in agreement, but Hugo tuned it out. He couldn't take his eyes away from the look on Stefan's face, at the crinkles in the corner of his eyes, then way his cheeks puffed up when he smiled, how his top teeth were a little crooked and he didn't even care. "You alright, Hugo?"

Hugo stared at him with wide eyes, finally drifting back to reality. "Yeah, I'm fine, just zoned out for a second there." He signed the words in a rush, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment. Stefan smiled at him but said nothing, a knowing look pulling at his features. Hugo didn't want to know what he knew, didn't want to face the shame and embarrassment if Stefan knew that he liked him.

As Hugo had expected, the dishes weren't cleaned, but they all got distracted by movies and alcohol to bother with it. As per usual, it was another movie marathon, they never really did anything else, but he didn't mind. He still had fun.

The three of them sat cramped on Stefan and Renee's two-seater couch, jostling each other for a little extra space. Their loud laughter drowned out Hugo's quiet huffs as they leaned over him to grab large handfuls of popcorn. He sat pressed between them, arms and legs warm against his and for once he actually felt comfortable and more than a little happy.

That changed not long after he went to bed. He and Renee usually shared her bed when he stayed over. It was easier and far more comfortable than the couch and neither of them minded sharing. Renee fell asleep in an instant, snoring softly while Hugo lay awake for more than an hour, thinking over things as he usually did.

It wasn't anything bad, but it was enough to keep him awake more than he would like. He eventually drifted off, thoughts of moving out and Stefan on his mind. Those thoughts did not fill his dreams however and instead, he was given flashes of red and white and black, snippets of screams that had haunted him for five years, his own and his mothers.

It had been so long since he'd had a nightmare about it, but he knew they would never go away. They were never clear, always flashes of colours and faces, but he knew what it was, he always knew. It was all so foggy, so warped and still, he could clearly make out his mother’s face, staring at him with wide eyes and yelling silently to him with bloodstained lips.

Hugo awoke with a start, staring at the darkness around him. His breathing was laboured and there was an awful feeling in his stomach like he was going to vomit any second. He launched himself from the bed before realising that he wasn't home, and Renee was still sleeping next to him.

Her soft snores made their way towards him and he let out a sigh of relief. He hadn't woken her in his panic. With quiet pants and shaking hands, Hugo wandered out to the main room of the little apartment and flicked on the kitchen light. A drink of water would do him well, but there was no way he was getting back to sleep. He doubted Renee and Stefan would mind if he kept the television down low.

A thin sheen of sweat covered his face and arms, cooling quickly in the night air. He gulped down his glass of water and went for another. He couldn't push the images of his nightmare from his mind, no matter how much he wanted to. With his eyes closed, he blinked back tears as his breathing gradually worsened.

It was as though there was a rock on his chest, pushing harder and harder until it eventually crushed him. He could feel it in his stomach and throat too, the latter closing up until only a sliver of air was allowed through. He braced himself against the bench as the tears finally flowed down his cheeks and he let out a quiet sob.

He couldn't stop thinking about it. He wanted to stop. He wanted to be able to push away the images and go back to sleep and be happy like he had been earlier in the night. It wasn't fair. He just wanted to laugh and smile without having to worry about nightmares. He didn't want the panic and the fear and the grief. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all.

"Hugo?" a voice called, but before he could react, arms wrapped around him. He gasped and looked up at the man before him. Stefan pulled his head against his chest and ran a hand through his hair. "I heard noises, so I came out to see what was going on. What's wrong?"

Hugo shook his head, still pressed against Stefan's warm chest. His hands were shaking too much for him to gets to words out. Without another sound, Stefan grabbed his glass of water and walked him over to the couch. Hugo couldn't hold the glass without the liquid spilling on his pyjama pants, so Stefan lifted it towards his lips for him.

"What happened? You looked alright earlier," he said as he pulled the glass away and put it on the coffee table. He sat on his knees in front of him, hands pressed against his legs.

Hugo shook his head. "Nightmare," he replied when his hands finally stopped shaking. "I can't get my mind to shut up."

"Ah, crap," Stefan muttered and moved to sit next to him. Hugo stiffened for a second as arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him against Stefan's chest once again. "Is this alright?"

He wasn't in the mood to think about what it meant. All he wanted was for someone to look after him. He nodded against the fabric of Stefan's shirt and closed his eyes. Images of his nightmares were imprinted on the backs of his eyelids and tears still ran down his face, staining Stefan's shirt. Neither of them seemed to care.

"I could put on a movie for you, something funny," Stefan suggested as he ran a hand through Hugo's hair. "We can watch it together until we fall asleep."

"I don't think I'm going to fall asleep," Hugo replied.

He felt the other man shrug. "Then I'll keep putting on movies to distract you."

"You don't have to do that. You should sleep," he said with a shake of his head, even though he already knew Stefan wasn't going to listen.

Without a word, the other man pulled away from him and put a DVD in the player. "I know you liked this one when we watched it the other day," he muttered, grabbing the remote and moving to sit back down with him. Hugo didn't ask before he wriggled back into his original position against Stefan, but he didn't seem to mind.

Instead, he stretched out so that they were both lying on the tiny couch, arms wrapped around each other and legs falling off the edge. Hugo's tears eventually stopped, and his breathing evened itself out as the movie began to play. It was one of his favourites out of the movies Renee and Stefan had shown him and he quickly found himself laughing along with it.

Occasionally, he would look up at Stefan and watch him as he watched the movie. He couldn't understand why he had tried to help him as much as he did, but Hugo wasn't going to complain. It might be his only chance to sit with him as they were, he wasn't going to waste it by being awkward and pushing away. He needed comfort, or he was just going to panic again.

He relaxed against him as the memories of his nightmare finally faded away and let out a deep breath. His eyes began to droop, and his vision grew fuzzy. Despite his arguments, he was only halfway through the movie when he drifted off to sleep, Stefan wide awake and laughing against him.