Eren: Please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeease

Jean: No

Connie: No

Mikasa: No

Eren: But you guys are meant to be my friends

Connie: So was God

Jean: But then he sent the Titans

Mikasa: He convinced me into committing murder

Eren: Wasn't that me?

Mikasa: Exactly

Eren: But I need to master this manoeuvre gear

Jean: Why don't you master it on your own then

Eren: GOD DAMMIT JEAN, REINER, BERTHOLDT CAN YOU HELP ME 

Reiner: Yea sure

Bertholdt: I don't think that I wan

Reiner: He'll do it to won't you Bertholdt

Bertholdt *internally*: The fuck Reiner. Fuck you to the fucking moon. Why would you force me into helping this shitty little cunt. You fucking owe me after this ya fuckwit. 

Bertholdt: Yea sure  i'll come

Reiner: Okay lets go

*while walking to sight*

Eren: So yea my Mum was eaten and I saw

Reiner and Bertholdt: Oh how awful

Eren: I'll kill the colossal and the armoured titan and then i'll destroy them all

Armin: Eren what did we say about being edgy

Eren: That I was the definition of edge

Bertholdt and Reiner *internally* We are so fucked if this is the kid we need 

*gets to sight*

Eren: LOOK AT THIS I CAN DO IT

Armin: Yea good job

Eren: THIS PROVES THAT EDGE IS ALL I NEED TO LIVE

*the next day*

Eren: THE FUCKING THING ISN'T WORKING ANYMORE

Armin: WELL NO FUCKING SHIT EREN

Eren: LET ME DO IT AGAIN

Eren: *actually does it for 10 seconds*

P.I *without looking at gear*: YOUR GEAR SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN TAMPERED WITH

Eren: OH REALLY HOW COULD YOU HAVE KNOWN?

P.I: CAUSE I AM MORE INTELLIGENT THAN YOU KID

Eren: LOOK MIKASA I DID IT

Mikasa *internally*: Fuck he's actually doing it

Mikasa: Yea whatever

End of script