Dahlia was losing her ever-loving mind. She was holed up in her room, lying in bed staring up at the ceiling pretending that she wasn’t feeling like one huge ball of anxiety and stress.

Her days were beginning to blend together, becoming a blur. She’d wake up some days with major anxiety, knowing that she had to see Camille. Her mother-in-law was psycho, her husband didn’t even talk to her anymore, and she was in a loveless marriage. Jared had become distant, not that they were buddy-buddy before but at least they had some sort of companionship going on. Now, he pretty much ignored her at work unless he had to talk to her. At home, he’d either be hiding from his mother or fighting with her, so that didn’t leave time for them to simply hang out and watch T.V. in the living room like they had started to do before. She knew that this was a marriage of convenience from the beginning, but it still sucked to be wanted just for that.

She had never imagined she’d be going through something like this. Where did it all go wrong? Had she made a horrible mistake by marrying him? She was beginning to feel even more alone than she had after she had broken it off with Mark.

She'd known since the beginning that there would be no physical relationship between them. It was going to be a marriage for show, they each had their reasons, but now it all seemed wrong. Deep in her heart she knew she was slightly attracted to Jared and his gruff personality and couldn't tell if it was because she really found him attractive or she was lonely. Since the beginning she had seen through his tough exterior, and she knew underneath it all, there was a young boy trying to find a place for himself, to please the ones he always seemed to disappoint. She wanted to smack some sense into herself because she knew she shouldn’t be thinking like that! Still, she couldn’t help feeling protective of him when his mother threw her tantrums, jealous when she saw his lady “friends” come and visit him and be all over him in his office.

What about her though? Didn’t she deserve some happiness? She was just like an extra fixture at work, one that he completely ignored unless he needed it. So insignificant compared to his blonde, voluptuous friends and that Sherry woman! She wanted to smack the smirks off her stupid pretty face! Ugh.

She would be thirty soon, four years would fly by quickly and she still had no children to take her name. He was almost forty and still had no children to carry on his name and probably wouldn’t have any children since they were only supposed to be married for two years.

What if….?

No. Impossible!

She spent another hour just contemplating and breaking her head.

Then with her heart pounding, she made up her mind.

Dahlia slipped out of bed, the cold night chill raising goosebumps over her bare arms and legs, barely covered by her thin camisole and boy short pajamas. She crossed her room, slowly opening the door and slipping into the hallway. She tiptoed out, hoping that Camille was a heavy sleeper. She didn’t want to be found slipping into Jared's room. She scoffed. She was in all her right, but Camille would still find the way to make her feel inadequate.

She stopped in front of his door, the light was off, indicating he was already asleep. She turned the knob and slipped inside, shutting the door and locking it behind her. There was a lump of blankets in the middle of his bed, snoring softly.

“Jared?” She whispered, a small snore his only answer. “Jared!” She leaned over and touched his shoulder. “Please wake up.”

This was going to be harder than expected.

Slowly, she got into bed, raising the covers on one side and slipping under. She poked him again, hoping he wasn’t one of those punch-first-ask-questions-later kind of guys. “Jared?”

He jerked, and pulled back, rolling on his side immediately, “Jesus Christ! Dahlia?” He asked groggily, the hair on one side of his head sticking up in all directions. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you…”

“Couldn’t this wait until tomorrow?”

“Well, no. I think right now would be good.”

“Dahlia, we have to work in the morning. Go get some sleep.”

She snuggled closer to him, testing to see his reaction as she pressed herself against him. He cocked his head, and she could tell the cogs were starting to turn in his head.

“What are you doing Dahlia?” he asked now sounding more awake than before.

“I 'm not really sure, but...” She looked up to him. Normally she wouldn’t be able to reach his face while standing up but now they were pressed together, and she reached out tentatively to touch his face as he continued staring at her. He didn’t pull back. She guessed that was a good sign, so she pulled his face to hers, her lips sliding over his softly.

She heard the moment his breath hitched. She didn’t push deeper, simply gave him a small peck on the lips. Pulling back, she looked at his face, those eyes still looking at her trying to decide what was going on.

“Dahlia…”

“Please, don’t say anything.”

She quickly clambered over him, holding herself closer to him since he still wasn’t touching her—his arms laying on either side of his head on his pillow. He wasn’t doing anything, but he was still not pushing her off. Still a good sign.

She leaned down and kissed him from his cheek, to his neck, finally going back to his lips, moving slow until she felt him kissing her back.

“What are you doing?” he whispered, and she put her finger over his lips. She shook her head in the darkness, he probably didn’t see the movement. She figured it was now or never, as she took a deep breath, holding one of his hands to bring them up to her body. She caught her breath, waiting to see if he'd pull back. He went for it.

Neither one said a word as they began exploring, touching skin, slowly discovering each other for the first time since they met a year ago. The only man she'd ever been with like this had made her innocent body heat up, but Jared's hands made her burn. Hearts pounding, all she could hear was the sound of their heavy breathing as they kissed, as they touched.

“Touch me."

She wasn’t sure who’d said it. She heard herself sigh as he rolled them over in bed, leaning over her. At some point, her clothes came off, the cold forgotten with the heat they were creating,

“You're beautiful.”

She briefly caught sight of him through the darkness—broad chest, strong shoulders, he wasn’t what some woman would call “ripped” but he was all male. She briefly wondered if she would regret this in the morning, but he chased the thought away with his kisses. Arms around him, she held tight, trying to forget every single insecurity that seemed to plague her mind constantly.

Kisses in the dark were always better, she thought, as she felt his lips.

She could hear the pounding of her heart, the blood rushing through her head, the rustle of the sheets as they were pulled and tossed aside. Someone gasped. Someone moaned. Finally, their hard breathing was the only sound in the darkness. It wasn’t cold anymore, their bodies a furnace.

In the darkness, he pulled her to him, letting her rest on his arm before sleep overtook them both.

……

He didn’t know what time it was when he awoke, but it was still dark outside.

He blinked and said nothing. His mind was racing however, with all the events of hours before. Had he been dreaming? Must have been all a dream because he couldn’t have…

“Mmm…”

He felt her before he heard her, felt her as she turned her back to him. Her hands were wrapped around herself, knees bent, she was cradled like a baby on his side as if seeking his warmth.

He had done it. They had done it.

It couldn't just have been a fluke, could it? It hadn’t felt like that.

If he stopped and thought about it, he had been drawn to her since the beginning. The saucy, stubborn short girl with the big attitude, and even bigger heart. She had cried in front of him once, refusing to accept his words to make her feel better, ashamed to have broken down before someone like him. But she was strong, and he saw it in the way she held herself tall, even in the worst moments. She saw her sweetness when she helped children calm down in the scary moments of visiting a doctor.

What if it wasn’t a fluke? He did know that he had met someone he was emotionally attracted to. Her mind was big for a tiny woman, and a woman she was. That was something he wasn't ever going to forget even if he wanted to.

What if it was a fluke?

He rolled onto his side and ran his hand down her arm, heard her sigh.

Doctors and shrinks have made him feel like he was crazy, like there was something wrong with him for keeping away from women for so long, but here he was with this woman, and not just any woman, his wife. The meaning of that word made his heart speed up. That meant that his subconscious found her both attractive emotionally as well as physically. Even now, his body felt that pull, that… need that he had always scoffed at when he heard friends speaking about how they had ended with some girl after meeting at a bar or club. This was different, he told himself, even as the words sounded cheesy.

She shuffled, still asleep, and turned onto her back slightly, still twisted away from him. He looked down at her.

No wonder he had been attracted to her. She was beautiful. Long brown hair, soft brown eyes, and natural pink lips that didn’t need any lipstick. Without thinking, he stretched across and ran the back of his hand softly down the side of one soft, rosy cheek. As far as he knew, she didn't use makeup that much. He couldn’t remember seeing her face with anything other than mascara and Chapstick on most days.

His mother was wrong, she didn’t need to make herself up for him. His mind had already concluded that she was fine the way she was.

Leaning down, he brushed his lips softly over hers. If she were to wake up now, what would she say?

Would she push him away?

He hoped she wouldn’t.

………

She blinked and slowly opened her eyes, feeling something brush against her neck. “What...”

“You’re awake. Good.”

“Oh.” Was the last thing she said before he caught her lips in a kiss. Quickly she lifted her arms and hugged him, he moved over her, cradling her in his arms. He kissed her hard, which surprised her because she didn’t think he'd be this kind of lover…

She didn’t think about it anymore after a few seconds.

……

She was first to wake up that morning.

He had her against him, her back to his chest as he spooned her. Slowly, she disentangled herself from him. The cool morning air hit her, and she scrambled for her clothes which were on the floor next to the bed. She placed her pillow next to him and he took it, holding it to his chest. Pulling up the covers over him, she gave him one last look and crept out of the room, shutting the room behind her.

In her room, she noticed the clock on her night table read 6:25, it was about five minutes before her alarm sounded, so she just turned it off completely and made her way into the shower. The warm water felt soothing on her sore body, and even though she'd been no virgin, it had been a while since she'd been with a man. The first and only other man she'd been with was no match for Jared, and her body knew it. She massaged her thighs and washed up, scrubbing herself hard attempting to erase the smell of his body off hers that by the time she was done she resembled a pink lobster.

She got ready and slipped into her favorite pair of scrubs. As she brushed her hair, she wondered how she'd be able to face him later at work. They were both working today. According to the schedule, she was meant to work with him today because one of the nurses was on vacation.

She scoffed, she was being ridiculous, acting like a teenager about to be caught by her parents after a night out on the town. She had spent the night with her husband. He was no stranger she'd picked up on the club to slip into bed with. Would he be mad?

She applied a layer of mascara and grabbed her bag. There was no time to be feeling sorry about herself. She was a grown ass married woman and she had taken a decision. She just hoped life didn’t decide to get any weirder than it already was.

Rushing past his room, she listened for a sound of movement inside, but found silence. He would probably be asleep for another thirty minutes before his alarm went off. She could hear Camille rustling in the kitchen as she was grabbing her keys. She didn't want to face that hurricane so early in the morning, so she rushed out the door.

As luck would have it, when she got to the office at eight, she found out that she had a meeting to attend in an hour with corporate. She quickly assigned a different nurse to the unit with him and posted the schedule.

It was a good thing that she had that meeting because she had already lost her nerve and didn't want to see him, much less talk to him. Later, at home, that would be different but for right now, she was glad to be able to avoid him.