I want this but I'm still afraid afraid of the risk afraid of the pain that I could go through afraid to trust someone completely I want this but I'm still afraid

I want this but I'm still afraid I took a chance and I haven't stopped but I still have the negatives I don't want to think about I just want to live in the moment and be happy but there's still the negatives I met someone online dating and we've been texting and we facetime I think I really like this guy but the one in my mind is still there telling me that it's not going to be what I want telling me that at some point he's not going to want me in his life just like everybody else and I hate that I hate that I have to hear those words because I just want to be happy in the here and now  I don't want to hear her words I don't want to answer my anxietys questions like do you think he thinks about you the way you think about him I don't want her to tell me that he's probably talking to some other girls that he'll find someone better talking to him makes me happy and I want this but I'm still afraid