All the Reasons I’m Scared to Lose You

The long day had come to an end. Finally.

Her lab coat draped across one arm along with a stack files she had yet to file away. With little progress in the labs, it left her disappointed and drained, especially when dealing with new, anxious employees who were afraid for their jobs after the incident last week. Somethings couldn’t be helped.

Heading to the elevators, she didn’t see a soul, most having headed home hours ago. An empty breakroom, however, caught her eye with shiny vending machines inside. Specifically, one with a fresh stock of Little Debbies and another with a fresh stock of Dr. Pepper.

She smiled, quickly slipping into the room like a mouse and setting her belongings down like a herd of elephants. She counted the loose change while a coworker entered.

He still wore a lab coat, but a ratty bookbag hung from one of his shoulders. She didn’t readily recognize him with his slim shoulders and dark hair falling into his eyes.

“Hello.” Nonetheless, she sent a quick smile his way.

Silence filled the air as she retrieved her dessert and then her soda. Turning back around, she noticed he remained by the door. Almost angry looking.

She set down her snacks and raised a brow at him.

“Can I help you?” She straightened her back, not able to reach his height in her sneakers.

He closed the door and dropped his bag. A white, hot fire burned in her body making her head slightly spin and her fingers numb.

“You’re weak.” His words rang in her ears. “You’re lenient. A weakness. Too kind. Another weakness. You’re sleeping with the big boss so all your mistakes are overlooked. Someone has to take the blame for the incidents and slow progress. It won’t be you, but somebody has to.”

He took one large stride towards the table and despite the barrier between them, she instinctively stepped back. Each step forward, she matched with one back as he rounded the table.

“I don’t know you who you worked for before, but that’s not how we do things here.” As she got closer to the door, he reversed his direction to intercept her. “Mistakes happen and nobody has to take the blame. Slow progress is still progress. It’s all in the nature of science.”

They stood across from one another. She wanted to bolt for the door, but turning her back to him – even a fraction – would be a fatal mistake.

Her lover blissfully remained unaware in his office. He finished a thing here and there, trying to pack up for the night. When finally packed and ready for the night, he called for his security and headed downstairs to see if she would be ready. Usually, she waited in his office while he finished up, but she too had work hold her up sometimes.

They both had been swamped with work since the move. He brushed aside any worry that balled up in his stomach.

It returned, tightening his stomach to almost a painful level. A breakroom along the hallway to her office caught his attention with the commotion inside.

Signaling his guards, they took stances on each side of the door. The opened it with caution, weapons drawn. Apparently, just in time, as a woman dressed in slacks and a dress shirt take one of the metal, folding chairs and bring it down across the back of a man wearing a lab coat.

Security broke the two apart and restrained the man. He grabbed ahold of her and pulled her to the side to check for any noticeable injury. Without a word, he called for a few more guards.

One of them grabbed her belongings from the table and the other escorted them back up.

Before leaving, he turned back to the two left with her attacker, “you know what to do.”

On their way, he made a mandatory stop to fetch a first aid kit.

She entered first, taking her seat in a spare chair. He deposited their stuff on his desk, only keeping the first aid kit in his hand. When the guard set down her belongings, he left without prompting and waited outside with the other guard.

“You okay? Do you feel like you need a doctor?” He set to work, putting ointment on her cut lip and checking the bruises she received.

“I don’t need a doctor.” She winced when he ran a finger over a particularly nasty bruise on her arm. “Why are you smiling?”

“I love you. Every aspect of you.” He kissed her knuckles with care and left to grab some ice.

He returned shortly, placing the ice pack on her knuckles. Silence fell between the two, not quite uncomfortable, but a bit tense. He held her hands, keeping the ice on them, while she watched him intently.

“I love your passion for your work. You’re hard-working and absolutely breath-taking getting work done and incredibly sexy in that lab coat.” He pecked her on the lips.

“Wh-“

“Shh.” He kissed her again. “I’ll admit if it isn’t obvious, that that,” he gave a pointed glance to the white fabric on his desk, “is the main reason I can’t keep my hands to myself.”

He stretched his legs, hovering over her, and supporting himself using the arms of her chair. Slowly, his head dipped down to tenderly press against her own.

She hummed, “is that why you’ve been frisky at work?”

“Excuse you,” he pulled back to look her in the eye, “the first time we had sex in my office had been your doing entirely.”

Before she could retort, he stopped her.

“I’m getting off track.” He moved to sit down on the floor.

“And what was it you were doing?”

“Listing all the things I love about you.” He cleared his throat and continued, “intelligent, strong-willed, but not narrow-minded-” She snorted at that but he ignored her. “-you can hold your ground, not swayed without facts. An emotional, logical woman, that I love.”

“You’re being silly.” She kissed him on the nose, a grin forming on her face.

“Hmm, if that’s what I am then that’s what I am.” He removed one of the ice packs from her hands to kiss the cool knuckles underneath and hold her hand to his cheek. “I love how adorable you are when you get to overthinking, though it worries me at times.” He smiled at her dark blush. “Your temper can show your strengths and authority.”

“But, I result to name-calling.” The shame hung from her words.

“Which can be hurtful,” he agreed but smiled her way to reassure her. “I love you. I wanted you to know that.”

“You seem scared, love.” She slid from the chair, sitting beside him on the floor.

“My queen is the most important piece on the board. I’m just the pawn that ends the game.” She cupped his face, weary eyes staring back into hers.

“You’d be a king, honey.”

“I know.”