8:53am fawnstars

"Honestly, most people don't know that about my current life because I can barely stand talking about it.. basically my son at 15 decided he didn't want to live with us anymore and started staying with my mom&stepdad, and I told them to NOT give him a key/room/food and just send him home. They refused and instead sprnt $20,000 on lawyers to sue me for full custody of Sage, calling me an "unfit mom." 😢 We went to trial, faced judges and in the end I split custody with them and now pay them $450"

9:05am fawnstars

"a month in child support."

9:47am army_made896

"good gof"

9:49am army_made896

"god"

10:00am fawnstars

"They all three (spn/mom/stepdad) stopped seeing/talking to me completely and they live here in pdx"

10:08am army_made896

"yea that is hitman fodder if i've ever heard it"

10:15am army_made896

"fuck em"

10:27am fawnstars

"We've considered... everything."

10:37am fawnstars

"Fuck them seriously much."

10:41am army_made896

"i know that's hard to do, but i am viciously vengeful and will hold a grudg for eons"

10:46am fawnstars

"#0fxgivn"

11:03am fawnstars

"Now you see why I love your motto haha"

11:17am fawnstars

"I just have to walk thru hell tbh"

11:18am army_made896

"everyone loves it, even if they don't admit haha"

11:27am fawnstars

"It sux"

12:07pm army_made896

"i LOVE driving past a minivan of ecumenicals and making sure i get in front of them so that they can read it, loud and deliberately"

12:30pm fawnstars

"Haha!! Best part I bet lol"

12:38pm army_made896

"i hate that for you, Fern. i don't know you, but i feel like you should NEVER be dealt a bad hand"

1:15pm army_made896

"like Phoenix, you should rip matter apart at the subatomic level over and over again at will"

1:42pm fawnstars

"My nephew LOVES your license plate. He said as soon as he saw it.. WHAT!! I didn't know you could get that 😂"

1:51pm fawnstars

"Thank you mike ❤👊"

2:08pm fawnstars

"We both have "seen" alot 😎"

2:45pm fawnstars

"I'd say you know me haha"

3.39pm army_made896

"haha tell him you can do anything in this world. funny story, when i submitted it to the walrus behind the counter in the alabama courthouse, she says, "now this will have to get approved at the state level, just so ya know.""

4:32pm fawnstars

"Rebel!"

4:47pm army_made896

"i told her it's a secret family code that has turned into a motto dating back centuries"

5:18pm army_made896

"she shrugged her shoulders (which wound up moving her upper torso) and submitted it"

6:27pm army_made896

"done, and done. ✅"

6:38pm fawnstars

"Tcob mf"

6:44pm army_made896

"i have to admit i laffed my ass off walking out the door"

6:59pm fawnstars

"#winning lol 😂"

8:37pm fawnstars

"The Phoenix thing hurts because I feel SO powerless.. 😢 I hate it so much tbh. I got pregnant with Sage at 20 in NYC. I met his dad and 2 wks later he had me against a wall choking me off the floor. I didn't know I was pregnant, got away from him and 1 month later I found out I was pregnant. I never told him he had a kid until Sage was 16 yrs old, they met on father's day. I was terrified of "father" but felt I had to keep Sage and keep him and me alive so that's what I did."

8:38pm fawnstars

"I've facedalot of pain and judgement for that decision but now that we've found him again everyone can see I did the right thing I think.. he is still really wack unfortunately."

8:42pm fawnstars

"Anyway.. long story but basically I have fought so hard since day 1 to keep Sage and raise him with love.. it fucking hurts."

8:57pm fawnstars

"In the darkest moments I have driven over bridges and dreamed of flying.. I could never leave Christian but the lonliness is hell. Christian fought harder than I have ever seen anyone fight for someone else in my life-storybook love he has for me ❤ Sage started seeing me again this month finally after TWO YEARS of all 3 of them shunning me. Maybe something can finally shift. Sorry to bore you with this and I DO know you are super busy! We can catch up more when you bring the ukulele lol"

9:02pm army_made896

"I know the loneliness you speak of, and I talk to the shrink about it. It's like you're surrounded by everyone, but not a soul is around. It's horrifying."

9:23pm fawnstars

"I started seeing a shrink specializing in Narcissistic abuse a few months ago and will hopefully bring Sage too soon. She is SO rad, an angel 😇 Nothing makes my mom talk to me or love me and that's life on planet Fern. 🌍🌿"

9:30pm fawnstars

"I really am doing much better and everything is basically tolerable now lol... Thanks for "listening" mike.. I NEVER share like this and am usually more "2cool4school" and blase'. #0fxgivn is a way of life ✊😎🎧 ✌Now get back to blowing stuff up haha 😊"

9:59pm fawnstars

"#5years 💪 #youcandoit"

10:09pm army_made896

"i dunno. you don't seem so bad to me? 😜"

10:10pm army_made896

"i also don't know if i can do 5 more years; i'm weird that i prioritize sanity over "success""

10:10pm army_made896

"pretty scared right noe"

10:10pm army_made896

"now"

10:27pm fawnstars

"I'm the worst just good at hiding it haha"

10:28pm fawnstars

"I'm so sorry this decision sucks so much and is hard to weigh.. what are your options besides retire? Is it a lifetime paycheck or "success" you'd be holding out for?"

10:44pm army_made896

"That is precisely the conundrum: stay in the Army and make about $40K a year just to simply breathing, OR, go to the United Arab Emirates and take a job starting at $225K a year.."

10:45pm army_made896

"👆🏿"

10:45pm army_made896

"that's a lotta 🧀"

10:45pm fawnstars

"If you chose to go to the UAE would you be "blowing stuff up", teaching, or?"

11:20pm army_made896

"UAE pilots--aren't always the brightest. But they have a lot of dough so we sold em a bunch of 64s. I would be an Instructor Pilot (AKA I.P.). If we do, Tor could finish her Ph.D. AND get a high-paying english teacher job. So it's really what I'm hoping for."

11:22pm army_made896

"As far as deployments, the Army hasn't a single clue. I may never deploy again, or I may leave tonight. Makes it really nice for planning vacations and such 💩"

11:22pm fawnstars

"🖐 Hi five! Do what you love. Life is short!!"

11:22pm army_made896

"Have to."

11:23pm army_made896

"No other way..."

11:24pm fawnstars

"I am always the Unicorn in my forest.. I never leave."

11:26pm fawnstars

"UAE is far away but I hope you follow your dreams ✊"