_

"I won’t tell you I’m lonely, ‘cause it may be selfish.

I won’t ask you to hold me, ‘cause that won’t mend what’s helpless"

"Out of Love"- Alessia Cara.

_

He drove her crazy. She knew that he knew it.

Not that she wasn’t already crazy. After all, she did think that he was a ridiculously good-looking man, but so did the rest of the female population in the clinic. Of course, she wouldn’t involve herself in the discussions regarding his looks with the other nurses.

She was fine working with him. Sometimes.

Because most of the time he made her want to punch him in the face.

Like right now. She felt ready to throttle him.

“I am telling you again, sir, that you specifically stated in your last set of memos that you would fill certain prescriptions to cover for providers on their days off.” She gritted her teeth, trying to hold on the last piece of patience she had before she snapped. “You filled some other patient’s Norco the other day.”

“Because he had a legit reason to be on that. The man had major spinal surgery due to being crushed in a car accident.” Thick blond eyebrows furrowed as he glared back at her. His green eyes twinkled in mischief, however. He could see that she was holding on to the last piece of sanity and he wondered if she would finally snap. Her face was flushed as she fisted her palms at either side of her.

“His drug screen came back negative for his prescribed Norco and positive for other illegal substances.” She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“Shit!” He ran a hand through his hair. He had one of those haircuts that was longer at the top and cut closer on the sides. She thought it made him look all roguish while the other nurses commented he looked wildly handsome. She also knew he was still kind of a dick. Sighing deeply, he turned back to her. “Now what?”

She rolled her eyes at him and crossed her arms. “What do you mean, now what? You figure out what you’re going to do with your next patient in that room. I am not going back in there, sir.” He was really testing her patience. She was trying to be as patient as possible, but things had been absurd for the last couple weeks. He’d been in a horrible mood lately and she didn’t know what else to do to not let it bother her.

“Stop calling me sir.” He growled as he stared at her. “I meant, what am I going to do about that other guy. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Excuse me?” He winced at the sound of her voice. She raised her arms up in question and disbelief. Her face had gone from blushing to resembling a ripe tomato. He slowly dropped his hands and stared at her. “Excuse me? Um, I dropped those results on your desk last week. I specifically stated, and I quote, ‘Doctor Ross, here are the toxicity results for Mr. Bentley. You should take a look at those’. If you were otherwise occupied ogling some... some woman, that’s not my problem. I am not the doctor. Now, if you’ll please excuse me, I have another patient to room.” Okay, maybe she briefly sounded bitchy, but she was upset, tired, and feeling kind of nauseous. Confrontation always made her angry, and she was always in some sort of argument with him.

He followed behind her, on her heels, watching the swish-swish of her copper-colored hair as she sped down the hallway away from his office. She had very beautiful hair, the color of which made him want to touch it and see if it was as soft as it looked. Some men were into breasts and bottoms, he was into hair. Of course, she’d probably punch him in the face if he tried to touch it.

He was still staring at her hair when she stopped suddenly and he crashed into her back, nearly toppling her over. He grabbed her waist and set her straight, stepping away from her quickly. She turned with a gasp, facing him with wide eyes, cheeks aflame as she stepped away in the opposite direction.

“Sorry. I didn’t see you stop.” He mumbled the last part, raising his hands in defense. “I didn’t mean to crash into you. I apologize.”

“Yeah, okay. Don’t do it again.” She huffed, tugging her scrub to set it right. She looked up at him one more time before turning back around and starting to walk off again. Looking at him over her shoulder, she raised an eyebrow, “I have no idea why you were walking right behind me, but understand that it should not happen again. Do keep your distance. Sir.”

He nodded, feeling his face heat up.

He didn’t really know why he kept teasing her to piss her off, because that’s what he did. He purposely teased her enough to make her want to scream. She would furrow her eyebrows, eyes bright and blazing, lips set into a grim line. She would flush bright red, a dark scowl on her face, always keeping her mouth shut until she was really upset, then she’d snap at him. Then she’d call him Sir. That’s how he knew she was pissed off. He’d never heard her curse, but her tone changed and she became even more serious than usual.

Then again, she was always serious. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her smile. Actually, he really wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her smile. High school memory flashed in his mind for a moment—that he had the tendency of being annoying and pissing people off—and it flustered him. Everyone at work seemed to like him, except for her.

Ben groaned and dropped his face to his hands when he remembered the little accident earlier this morning. He’d been staring at her damn hair and hadn’t noticed she had stopped moving. He’d crashed into her back, arms flailing, dropping to her waist to stop from falling over. Still holding on to her waist, he’d set her up straight on her feet and jumped back away from her as if she was on fire.

He'd always wondered why she wore slightly baggy scrubs, and now he knew. She was hiding her body. Why? He didn’t know, but now that he had felt what she was hiding underneath those baggy scrubs, he was curious. He cursed. He wasn’t allowed to be curious about her. Not about his nurse. Not about his coworker. Not about another employee and whom, if he tried anything funny with, could lose her job because of him. If he didn’t get fired as well for engaging in a relationship with a coworker. Which he wouldn't, of course.

He groaned again. His hands were still tingling, and he could still feel how well her waist had fit in his palms. He bet that she would actually look killer in normal size clothing…Wait! He wouldn’t be that bastard, that perv. Oh god.

He ran a hand over his face, wondering if she’d notice his reaction. If she did, what happened next? “I’m going to lose my f*cking job.” He grumbled, shaking his head slightly. It wasn’t that he was interested in her, that bossy ginger of his nurse. He hadn’t ever considered her that way, and he sure as hell wouldn’t be dealing with any trouble because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. He wasn’t like that, he was a professional. He had plenty of friends that could keep him company. It wasn’t that she wasn’t pretty, he admitted to himself. She was tall for a woman—not as tall as him—slender, with a delicate face and big soulful eyes.

Hell, he was a man and he noticed these things. He wasn’t superficial when it came to women’s appearances, but he’d noticed that she was pretty when they’d been introduced a year ago but hadn’t thought anything further than that. Everything between them had been professional, with the exception of his occasional teasing and her angry come-backs.

“Nope. Not going to lose my job because of my curiosity. She sure as hell doesn’t need to lose her job because of me either.” He concluded as he angrily mentally told himself to f*cking chill because he didn’t need this. “Maybe I need to give Sherry a call.” Feeling much better, he grinned thinking about the call he’d be giving Miss Sherry Wood, buxom blonde special friend of his.

Yup. Problem averted.

Still grinning and armed with his stethoscope, he left his office to go see his next patient.

…

“I am so angry and embarrassed! I want to cry!”

“Girl, breathe. What’s wrong?”

“Oh, Ruby. He’s driving me crazy!” Elena covered her face with her hands as her friend patted her on the back. They were standing in one of the med rooms, Ruby having walked in to get some injections and finding her friend looking confused.

“Is it Dr. Ross again?”

“Yeah. We were arguing again. I walked away from him ‘cause he was making me so mad. I don’t want to lose my job. I love it here! But you know how mad he makes me. I don’t think I can keep this up.” Elena shook her head. “I can’t tell if it’s because I'm an easy target, or I'm too nice, or what. He’s always teasing me, not anything rude or inappropriate, but teasing and it upsets me and I don’t know why. I know I've stayed here because I need the job, but it throws me off the loop him being so... so...” She huffed angrily.

“So damn manly?” Ruby offered with a grin. Because the man was manly. Tall, blonde, green eyes, built like an athlete, he resembled a damn Viking. Heck, even she had done a double take when she’d met him, and she was in a very happy relationship with her beautifully, well-made boyfriend, Max.

“Yes.”

“Handsome?”

“Yes.”

“Easy on the eyes?”

“Ruby, you’re not making this any easier.” Elena rolled her eyes at her friend. Ruby chuckled. “But yes, to all of the above. I know it’s inappropriate, he’s a provider. I’m confused. You know I don’t go around hooking up or hitting up on guys, but I can’t help how he makes me feel. It’s confusing and it scares me, I don’t like it one bit. One moment he’s teasing me, grinning like the damn Cheshire cat, and the next minute he’s being a dick. I go from feeling like a million bucks to thinking I'm dirt on the bottom of a shoe.”

Ruby shook her head and patted her friend on the shoulder.

“Elena, sometimes we can’t help our feelings. It’s not like you are acting on it. That would probably not be such a good idea.” Ruby continued patting Elena on the back. “Remember how we were always told in school that we had to learn to leave our work baggage at work and our home baggage at home?”

“I know. Which is why I always hold my tongue. I have bills to pay and a brother to take care of. I can’t afford to lose this position. It’s been the most well-paid one I've found so far.” Elena chewed on her lip nervously. “The photo shoots on the side with you and Pierre have actually been a God send. I’m almost not completely a nervous wreck anymore.”

“That’s because you shouldn’t be. I don’t like it when you feel that way. You’re a beautiful person, inside and out, and I wish you could see it as well.” Ruby told her friend with a small hug.

“I don’t know about that, but I'll take your word for it,” Elena replied with a sigh.

“I really wish you could see yourself the way that I see you. How others see you.” Ruby said softly, as she held Elena’s hand. Elena gave a short laugh and squeezed her friend’s hand. Ruby always tried to lift her spirits, always reminded her that there was more to her than what she thought of herself.

“Well, thanks to Kyle, I think it’s going to be a long while before I can come to terms with reality.” Elena mumbled, thinking back to that idiot who’d used her body, broken her heart, and destroyed her self-esteem all at once...

"I wish I could take it all away for you, love," Ruby said as she embraced her friend. 

"I know, I wish you could. I'd let you," Elena said with a watery smile. She tried to swallow the lump forming in her throat, the burning of her tears blurring her vision for a moment. She tried and failed.

"Oh, Elena." Ruby said as she embraced her, holding her. "Breathe deeply, hold it for ten... Exhale slowly through your nose. That's it." She held the redhead until she stopped shaking and was sure her  breathing was back to normal. "There you go. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Elena said as she cleaned her eyes. "I just... you know how I get sometimes."

"Yeah." The tall girl eyed her friend, before sighing. "Okay, well I have to get some med back to a patient. Text me if you need to talk."

"Okay. Thanks. Don't worry."

"See you at lunch." Ruby pointed out with a nod of her hair.

"Okay." She waved at her friend, staying behind in the med room to catch her bearings.

It was going to be a long day already...