I shivered as the darkness around me soaked into my body, penetrating my heart. I blinked and could feel hot, steamy tears rolling down my face. I wiped them away with the hem of my sweater and stood up from the hard ground. I grabbed my jacket and started to walk away from the spot where I would never see her face again.
The drive home seemed to take forever, there was an endless road ahead of me. The entire ride home I thought about that airplane.
My best friend just flew halfway across the world. I'm never going to see her again. NO! Don't say that. You'll have to find a way to see her again. She's been your best friend for as long as you can remember and as much as she tries, she can't get out of your life that easily.
I walked into my house where my mom was waiting in the kitchen with dinner for me.
"I'm not hungry," I protested when she shoved a bowl of soup in front of me. How could I possibly eat after everything that had happened? I knew that my mother just wanted to help, but she didn't understand how I was feeling and a bowl of soup couldn't fix that.
"Emma, sweetheart, I know you're upset that Sunny left but starving yourself won't bring her back." I paused for a moment, thinking, then grabbed the bowl of soup out of her hands and got a spoon out of the drawer. I didn't have the energy to start a fight with my mother. And besides, she always wins in the end.
After I ate I walked up to my room where I just collapsed, not bothering to take off my makeup or brush my teeth. I was just one of those times where you don't know how tired you are until you feel the softness of a bed.
______________________
Over the next few days I became worse. Depression overcame me and I didn't know what to do with it.
I remembered in middle school, one of the boys in my class told me he had been diagnosed with depression. I felt bad for him even though I didn't really understand what it was at the time. I thought that somebody was bullying him. I thought that somebody must've done something horrible to make him feel that way. I remember him telling me that depression was something that came from within, slowly eating up the emotions of its creator.
I tried so hard to make him feel better. I would invite him when me and Sunny hung out. I brought extra snacks into school to share with him. But he didn't get any better. I didn't understand why I couldn't help. But now I do.
I didn't need to be diagnosed with depression to know I had it. I spent so much time around that boy in middle school that I knew what the symptoms were. I knew exactly how he felt. Like there's a black spiral inside my heart, slowly growing and crushing more of my emotions. My mom noticed too, and she tried exactly what I had. But it didn't help.
Last night I was lying in bed watching reruns of Gilligan's Island when I heard my phone ring. It was Sunny, trying to skype me. I immediately pressed the call button.
"Hey boo" she said into the receiver, her voice as bubbly and happy as usual.
"Hiya" I responded, noticing the rooms she was in and how the bright yellow walls and pink comforter on her bed totally represented her personality. She raised an eyebrow at me.
"I know It's just impossible to live without my awesomeness but you have to stop moping around and move on with your life because whether I want to or not I'm not coming home."
"I know" I huffed as I ran my fingers through my hair, "I just wish I had more company."
"Look I only had time to say hello, I gotta go now but if your lonely just hang out with Danny, he needs a new best friend with a shoulder to cry on." She hung up the phone.
I sighed and opened up iMessage on my phone to text Danny. Daniel was mine and Sunny's other best friend and after everything that happened in the past few days I completely forgot about him. I found his contact in my phone.
Meet me at Starbucks is 10 minutes -Em
I put my phone in my pocket, grabbed my bag, and headed over to the Starbucks in town.
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