I don't want to be back in the darkness when I finally saw the beauty of the light I don't want the waves to pull me back from the shore but it did and now I'm drowning in the darkness but I don't want to be back in the darkness

I don't want to be back in the darkness but I'm here catching glimpses of the light struggling to breathe struggling to keep my head above the water I wish I didn't feel so down I wish I wasn't thinking about hurting myself again I wish I didn't think it would just be easier to not be alive there's moments when I have these thoughts again but I never act on them and I never intend to no matter how far I fall into the darkness I will find a way out I'm probably going to lose my job because I was told at work today that I was $10 short on monday and tonight I was $7 short at this point I don't know what's going to happen I'm probably going to lose my job and there's nothing I can do about that and that possibility the stress of this job it's what made me fall back into the darkness I had to text the guy that makes me happy on my sister's phone and this picture and my sister is very overprotective and because of what she went through I don't think she can trust guys it upset me that she wasn't considering my feelings and I really don't know what to do right now because I don't want to be back in the darkness