Ben was sitting on the floor, leaning against the dresser. He was facing away from the door so he couldn't have seen her approaching him. Jenn stopped advancing when she saw the photo he was holding in his hand. There was a girl in the photo, smiling.

Before she could get a better look at it, Ben spoke suddenly. "I'm not feeling well today, okay? Just let me be alone for a while." He didn't turn around when he spoke. Instead, he just kept staring at the photo.

"If you're not feeling well, you should stay in bed, not sit on the floor," she muttered after a moment of deliberation.

Hearing her voice, Ben got up in a dash and whirled around to face her, wearing a mask of surprise. "Catherine!" he exclaimed, sounding shocked to see her. "I mean, Jennifer," he hastily corrected himself, trying to compose his demeanour. He kept his hands behind him, obviously attempting to hide the photo from her. "I-I thought you were Ray," he said offhandedly.

Jenn merely raised an eyebrow at his reaction. "Oh, sorry to disappoint. Your dear friend Ray insisted that I should come and check on you." She said this in a detached voice, stealing a glance at his hidden hands. "Well, since you're not feeling well, I'll just let you be alone to rest." She turned away from him and headed for the door.

"Wait!" Ben said anxiously from behind her.

She halted at the door, not turning around. She just waited to hear what he had to say to her.

"Stay," he pleaded quietly. "Please?"

His soft begging tone echoed through her ears, and Jenn slowly turned to face him. What was going on with him today? She took a few steps towards him, watching his forlorn demeanour. "Are you sick?"

Ben dropped his gaze down to the floor as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "No," he mumbled in a low voice, his voice woeful. A few moments later, he looked up at her. "Come sit down. Please," he said, patting his hand on the bed beside him.

A frown appeared on her forehead as she stared at him. Something was definitely not right. Hesitantly she moved towards the bed and sat down, making sure to leave some space between them.

"Thank you," he whispered as a smile touched his lips. There was no sign of delight in his smile, just traces of solemnity and sorrow. The photo was no longer in sight. Perhaps he had put it away when she wasn't looking.

A few minutes went by in silence. Jenn just sat there watching him from a corner of her eye. She was trying to figure out what was wrong with him. It must have something to do with the girl in the photo. She would have assumed that it was his newfound girlfriend if he weren't looking so gloomy right now.

"It feels so good to be in the same room with you," he said suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence in the room. "Not bickering, not arguing, not discussing work, just sitting here ..." He sighed with contentment, staring ahead. "Together."

Jenn bit her lower lip, fighting the urge to leave the room immediately. Ben wasn't himself right now. She couldn't afford to leave him alone. "Let's just embrace silence, then," she suggested, hoping that he would drop the topic already.

Unfortunately, he didn't get her hint. "I miss us," he whispered, turning to her.

She met his gaze and saw the wistfulness and yearning in his eyes. This wasn't real, she reminded herself. Heaving a deep sigh, she said slowly, "We're not talking about this right now. You promised that you wouldn't bring up anything about the past ... so stick to your word."

"It's so hard, you know," Ben said in a painfully vulnerable voice. "To keep trying to hold myself down around you feels so wrong."

Jenn released an exasperated breath. Ben was crossing the line. She got up, her face contorting into a mask of disbelief as she glared down at him. "You know what feels wrong to me?" she spat, barely containing her anger. "Being in this room with you."

This was just another trick of his to play her, wasn't it? And she was foolish enough to allow herself to step into his trap again. Gosh.

Ben flinched at her words. His jaw clenched and unclenched as he visibly tried to hide the hurt inside him. "Why?" The word escaped his lips whilst his eyes stared into hers searchingly.

And that was it. That did the trick. That one word from him broke down every wall she had built inside her. The bitter memory of that particular night crashed into her mind as raw emotions flooded her system.

"You're asking me why?" Her voice came out strained, strangled. She let out an empty laugh. "What happened to 'Stop being an idiot and leave me alone'?" she asked, quoting his last words to her that night. "What happened to 'I don't need you in my life', huh?" Her voice rose along with her anger – the huge ball of anger which she had suppressed for a very long time.

Ben stared at her in confusion as he stood up. "What? What are you talking about?"

"What am I ...?" Jenn scoffed to herself, incredulous as she repeated his question in her head. She couldn't believe her ears.

He didn't remember. He didn't remember.

So he was too drunk to remember what he'd said to her that night, and she was the only one who had been crazily immersed in the incident that night. She let out a derisive laugh, taking a step back involuntarily and shaking her head in disbelief. "You jerk."

Ben was still puzzled by her words from earlier, but he could see that Jenn was extremely upset. Probably not the best time to keep asking questions then, he thought.

"Jenn, please listen to me ..." he started, but Jenn wasn't sticking around for this.

She spun around and strode towards the door. There was no point in arguing with him anymore. He couldn't even remember. She clenched her teeth in frustration as she reached out to grab the doorknob.

"My mum died."

Her hand froze on the doorknob. What?

"My mum died," he repeated bitterly, his voice shaking. "Today's the first anniversary of her death," he choked.

His mother died? Her forehead creased whilst she tried to register his sentence in her head. Ben's mother died ...Then a sudden realisation hit her like a ton of bricks, and she gasped softly. It was his mother in the photo.

"That was why I left last year," he continued in a weak voice. "I found out that she had bone cancer, terminal. I took off to New York immediately when I heard that she was in the last stage. I was in such a hurry that it completely escaped my mind that I should have called you to let you know where I was going."

Ben paused to take in a shaky breath. "But still, I was too late. She was gone by the time I arrived at the hospital." He stifled a cry. "I was crushed. I became a mess. You know how I was with my dad. He was all about the agency, all about the cases and missions. Mum was the only one I could turn to when something was wrong. She was the only one who cared for me. My mum was all I had." At this point, his voice broke.

Jenn was at a loss for words. Her hand slipped off the doorknob as the anger inside her evaporated completely, replaced with a feeling of shame and grief.

He sniffled and continued. "Later I found out that my dad knew about mum's condition. I was so angry that I would have punched him in the face if the nurses hadn't held me back. He lied to me. He said that he didn't want me to be worried about her, that he thought she would be okay after going through treatments. A bunch of lies!" he hissed. "He took away my only chance to see her for the last time."

Jenn heard him punching the wall with so much force that it frightened her. She spun around to face Ben, only to see him letting himself fall helplessly to the floor. He leaned his head back against wall, fighting the tears that threatened to spill. This was the first time she'd seen him cry, and it broke her heart to see him so lost in his misery. She wanted to go to his side, to hug him, to let him know that he wasn't alone, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Seeing him break down like this shocked Jenn to her very core. She was rooted to the floor, unable to move a muscle.

Ben wiped away his tears furiously, determined to get the truth out. "I lost it after that. I started drinking. I wanted to just forget everything. I was running away from the pain. Every night I visited nightclubs and bars, drowning myself in alcohol like a pathetic little coward." He forced the words out through clenched teeth. "You called me every single day, but I didn't answer any of your calls. I was ashamed to talk to you. I couldn't face you knowing the fact that I was a drunk, something I despised the most.

"After a while, it became easier. I just turned my phone off whenever I was drinking. But then the guilt still ate at me. At that point, alcohol wouldn't work for me anymore," he mumbled, reliving the pain. "So I started taking drugs."

Jenn thought that she had heard the worst part, but how wrong she was. When that last sentence came from his mouth, she literally felt as if she'd been punched in the stomach. All this time, she had thought that he was having the time of his life being away from her. And it was the exact opposite of what he was going through the whole time.

"It was like a release for me, you know. It took away all the pain ... the grief ... the guilt. I felt good again. I still refused to answer your calls, but I didn't feel guilty about it anymore. I guess I was used to it by then. It had become a habit." He smiled humourlessly. "After that, I went to parties around the city, just distracting myself from my real life. Every day and every night of my life was filled with alcohol, drugs, and parties. I didn't want to go back to the agency. The service reminded me too much of what my dad had done to me. I liked it better in New York: carefree, fun, enjoyable."

Jenn could hear the disgust in his voice. He was disgusted with himself. A tear rolled down her cheek as she saw how much he had put himself through. How blind she had been. He had been suffering so much – even now he was still in pain, and she saw nothing. Nothing.

"That was until that day – that day when I answered your call." His impassive voice had turned into a whisper at the last part of his sentence, reflecting his turmoil at this point. Then he forced himself to continue. "As usual, I was at a party when I received your call. At that time, I was so drunk and high that I forgot to turn off my phone. So I answered the call." He paused, turning to meet her gaze. His sorrowful eyes held hers for what felt like an eternity before he whispered, "I'm sorry."